comics and drawings!!... Constructive criticism welcome and needed

[Teh Geek Lord]

They are kinda rough right now, but I will touch them up when my tablet arrives ( a 9 x 12 intuos).

These are my first two attempts at a whole-page comic.  A while back I played around with some home-made srprites and made a shitty (albeit funny) comic in MS paint a few years back.

These are my first two in my foray back into comics and story telling.

I plan on making this a series (I have a semi-finished plot and ideas to continue it along) and will upload them into my DA account. 

I'm posting this here so I can get some CC on them and pointers and other ideas to help me along in making a better comic. 

(Also if you have a hatred of the so-called "furries" leave that for a PM as that would not be CONSTRUCTIVE criticism)

[est]

I think that you are perhaps spelling things out a little too much.  When you're writing a book you have to explain what's going on because you have no pictures.  When you're drawing a comic sometimes it's best to leave the pictures to tell the story themselves, for atmospheric reasons.

[KickThatBathProf]

To easy!

 

That aside, I agree with what est said.  Anything you can explain well by using pictures will make the description that much more vivid.  Also, this might be a matter of my personal preferences, but the guards really don't look guard-like in just a T-shirt and pants.  I understand that it might just be because it's sort of a rough edit, but it looked out of place as compared to the looks of Sherman and whatever Bounty-hunter-dude's name is.

[Teh Geek Lord]

To easy!

 

That aside, I agree with what est said.  Anything you can explain well by using pictures will make the description that much more vivid.  Also, this might be a matter of my personal preferences, but the guards really don't look guard-like in just a T-shirt and pants.  I understand that it might just be because it's sort of a rough edit, but it looked out of place as compared to the looks of Sherman and whatever Bounty-hunter-dude's name is.

no problem, I'm going to cut back on words in the comic then.  Yes, they are rough, will be finished with a tablet later on.  I'll find something suitable for the gaurds to don when I finalize them.

Thanks for the comments and suggestions, they will be used.

Cutting back on words with and prose within the comic!  Thanks, est!
I think that you are perhaps spelling things out a little too much.  When you're writing a book you have to explain what's going on because you have no pictures.  When you're drawing a comic sometimes it's best to leave the pictures to tell the story themselves, for atmospheric reasons.

[tomselleck69]

Use a ruler or a straight edge when making straight lines.

[Teh Geek Lord]

Use a ruler or a straight edge when making straight lines.

I need to get one   but will do, I'm sure it will only help. 

[Seigea]

I like the way it's going! It looks like the main character (our kick-awesome wolfman there) has some great potential. I can only agree with what has been said. After that, it's just all a matter of sticking with it and securing your audience. Ganbatte friend! ^_^

[Teh Geek Lord]

you can find more of Eric here.... http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/  There is also a background on him in one of my journals.  And thanks for the review.  There will be more to come, and I hope I get better as I make more.  But cars has long been my drawing strong point, and anything living (animals, humans, anthro-ish) have always been difficult for me.

[Scarlette]

This is great for a first try at full-page sequential art! What's ace is that you're playing with the pacing, using different angles and such, and having characters 'bleed' to the outside of the panel (can't think of a better way to say that right now, but you know), though maybe you could save that only for the most intense parts. The drawings are awesome, too... nice foreshortening.

Watch the panel layout - in the first page my eyes were drawn to panels below before I'd finished the top line; they run into each other quite heavily half way through. Panel 5 (made up of four panels) could be lowered to separate it from the top line. Maybe put the text box on the otherside of him, so it reads "He killed two instantly", and next you see he's standing there with his guns, to show that he stood like that after what happened in the text.

The third panel in that little four-block ("with each shot..."), the one with the gun from the previous panel overlapping another gun... it's a little messy, so maybe erase the bottom gun and put a dude there looking at the top gun (hehehe Top Gun) instead. It also looks a bit like that gun is killing the hero in the next panel. God this is really hard to explain.

When the badguy gets his guards to attack, you could show a few guards behind him so the reader can really see his threat.

One last idea! It'd be cool if you could fit in a panel (even in the place of the "too easy" panel) where it shows both gunman and the bounty a bit further away, so you get an intense moment of killer-standing-above-victim, and it'll sort of give it a pause of tension before the kill and close-up action packed bonanza!

Anyways, it is all very good, you already have awesome skillz to play with. Keep working on it, and work on backgrounds, and inking! Even though that's hard! And sorry for my ranting, but I do so love comics.

P.S. I like the humour in the comic 

[Teh Geek Lord]

much thanks for the kind words and suggestions.  I have 6 pages done for this comic so far (I just have to scan them, which requires a trip to Wal-mart) and i will update.  I want to seriously start getting this story up and running, and now that my tablet (a glorious 9 X 12 wacom intuos) has arrive, I can finish these first three and practice making them "final"

Here is panel three, its just character layout so far, I have added wording to it, but have not scanned the final rough draft of it...

[jhewelt]

don't be afraid of backgrounds. =p

[Teh Geek Lord]

Its my first sketch on my tablet, and my first real attempt at some sort of background, so be gentle, please.  *braces for rape*

[Seigea]

sweeeeeeet

[Teh Geek Lord]

Alright, page 3, 4, and 5 are finished... 6 didn't come out how i wanted, so it will be redone, in place of 6, enjoy a WIP of page 7...





This one has a rough background, its a layout for when I go though it in photoshop, but I'm seriously giving effort to layouts and designs on backgrounds... it just might not show well right now



And because 6 didn't come out as I planned, here is a WIP of page 7 (should give you an idea of what happened in page 6




Enjoy and tell me what you think!!!!

[Ikrik]

Honestly, it looks pretty nice.  However are you going to use colour or are you keeping it with the black and white layout?  If you're colouring it then the lines are fine but with black and white you'll need to add a lot more shading and detail into it.  Just keep drawing it, just keep going.  You might find as you keep going and get more comfortable and better with your drawing that you'll want to completely redraw everything again.  There are some text-confusion issues but I'm sure you'll sort that out and there are a few spelling mistakes which, again, aren't huge issues. You got a great perspective thing going, so just keep it up.

[Seigea]

I like it. It'll grab a readers attention and force them to ask questions about the story. Good Move

[Teh Geek Lord]

Honestly, it looks pretty nice.  However are you going to use colour or are you keeping it with the black and white layout?  If you're colouring it then the lines are fine but with black and white you'll need to add a lot more shading and detail into it.  Just keep drawing it, just keep going.  You might find as you keep going and get more comfortable and better with your drawing that you'll want to completely redraw everything again.  There are some text-confusion issues but I'm sure you'll sort that out and there are a few spelling mistakes which, again, aren't huge issues. You got a great perspective thing going, so just keep it up.

I plan on finishing them in two ways... one being a colored wat via photoshop, and then finishing the paper originals in black and white shading.  But right now, I'm trying to forge ahead and get a story rolling for the comic. 

[Trollstormur]

fuck yeah the nintendo zapper

[Seigea]

lol his gun DOES look like the zapper!

[Teh Geek Lord]

troll, I LOVE you, man!  That was funny!

[Teh Geek Lord]

***its a double post, sorry***

But I have some sketches I'm looking for constructive criticism on if you please...





Just looking for opinions on weather or not to pursue finishing these two sketches (both sketched in under 30 minutes)

[Clobbersaurus]

how old are you?

whatever age, this will help you:
http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

skim through it for a bit, go to older posts, and if you start to feel like you suck, then you're on your way to becoming a better artist. if you think you're doing just fine or "gee, my art style doesn't apply to this information", then you are bound to fail.


i'm also getting this pain in my forehead... i think it's because my furry detector is going off.
excuse me, i might lose my lunch...

[Teh Geek Lord]

I'm 22, and stock up on whatever pain medicine you have, as the Furry's ain't stopping. 

And here's a barf bag


Meh... my drawings already suck as it is... a few helpful tips there, though, thanks. 

[Scarlette]

Clobberstuff, you like Bjork AND John K?? How come you're so awesome? 

[snoppyjanoppy]

how old are you?

i'm also getting this pain in my forehead... i think it's because my furry detector is going off.
excuse me, i might lose my lunch...

she beat me to the punch, but damn do i hates me some furry. i think your best bet here is to-

draw your characters as realistically animal as possible. your main protagonist is a wolf? draw him as a real wolf, with guns! how does he hold it and use it? i don't know! that's part of the fun!

but what you're doing right now is cool. keep working at it (and if you involve furry sex in any way, shape, or form in your comic you will never live it down. somewhere on the internet there is a permanent record of everything you've ever published, and an employer of yours ten years down the road will find it and consider it beastiality. just a heads up!)

[Teh Geek Lord]

how old are you?

i'm also getting this pain in my forehead... i think it's because my furry detector is going off.
excuse me, i might lose my lunch...

she beat me to the punch, but damn do i hates me some furry. i think your best bet here is to-

draw your characters as realistically animal as possible. your main protagonist is a wolf? draw him as a real wolf, with guns! how does he hold it and use it? i don't know! that's part of the fun!

but what you're doing right now is cool. keep working at it (and if you involve furry sex in any way, shape, or form in your comic you will never live it down. somewhere on the internet there is a permanent record of everything you've ever published, and an employer of yours ten years down the road will find it and consider it beastiality. just a heads up!)

HAHA, no furry sex-scenes or anything like that will ever come from my hands, so rest assured on that.  I'm actually working on a more animal-ish version to see how that will work, and for someone who hates furries to say its "Cool and keep working at it" means I must have something right somewhere,

Thanks!

[Plasticity]

Just don't draw a furry comic.

The world does not need more furry comics.

[Teh Geek Lord]

Just don't draw a furry comic.

The world does not need more furry comics.

Oh well, I hear your complaint, but log it to file 13.  If I COULD draw a human figure well, it would be a human Comic, but as I find it too damned hard to so, I draw what I can. 

And noting the title, I was looking for CONSTRUCTIVE comments and criticism.  This doesn't help...

[Eris]

If I COULD draw a human figure well, it would be a human Comic, but as I find it too damned hard to so, I draw what I can. 

Doing a furry comic means your characters are anthropomorphic (animals with human characteristics); you will still need to know how anatomy works to make your drawings look more believable, otherwise draw your animals as actual animals on four legs and all that jazz.

Ok, nitpicks:

eyebrows: they are always the same tick/check mark shape. are your characters always frowning? when they are raising one eyebrow why is it still the same shape? surprised eyebrows are a different shape to that also.
eyes: they are square. and huge. eyes aren't supposed to be rectangles. maybe try rounding them out more to look more like eyes?
hands: they are really knobbly, and sometimes are really deformed. I know hands are buggers to draw, but knuckles aren't supposed to be that large and lumpy.
anatomy: I know this has kind of been covered already, but anatomy is key to have a character look more like a person/anthro. even learning a bit about facial structure (cheekbones aren't supposed to be really pointy), and soforth can help a lot. it may also help with your forshortening, which is wonky at times.
lines: your lines are wobbly. all of them. because of this your drawings don't look very confident, and give the whole piece an amateurish feel. I don't know how to explain it, other than that they are wobbly and unsure. smooth out the lines and see how that goes.


really I say hang back from drawing comics and try really focussing on stuff like that before trying to tie them all together in a comic. go look on flickr or deviantart and find some references to try and help your anatomy and clothing folds and all that, also maybe experiment for a while to shake up the monotony and stretch yourself.

[Teh Geek Lord]

All good points and I am constantly trying to fix my problems with my pitiful pass at "art"  I CAN draw cars and the like rather well, but with this comic I have ventured into new territory and perhaps I should stay where I can at least pass my work off as art. 

Oh well, its been a while since I have touched this comic (I've spent hours on end working on anatomy and hands and still trying to get the face/eyes down)

Give up, however, I will not.

Thanks for the crits, they do help!

[Teh Geek Lord]

hopefully I have fixed a few problems with how I draw my character...

I took those criticisms to heart and tried to fix the problems, better? 

(my scanner loves to suck the quality out of the image... damnit)

[ellemnop]

that last picture is awesome! i wish i could draw...

the way you have shaded in really gives more detail which just makes it look nicer really! 

are you thinking of maybe using colour or do you like sticking to b&w?

[Teh Geek Lord]

Thank you   

I will go color when I get the hang of digital drawings, but as far as a "real" drawing goes, it'll be black and white. 

[ellemnop]

sure! totally understandable, i guess you sort of work your way up right?!

soon enough you'll be shading with colours and adding definition and crazy shadows and what not!

def keep us updated! the pics are wicked!

[Teh Geek Lord]

sure! totally understandable, i guess you sort of work your way up right?!

soon enough you'll be shading with colours and adding definition and crazy shadows and what not!

def keep us updated! the pics are wicked!

I guess so, the black and white is more or less a comfort zone, I've been drawing since god knows when and its always been with a pencil, I just couldn't get the shading and control I wanted from a colored pencil, then earlier this year I finally torren- uh, downloaded CS3 and began toying with colors that I actually had control over.   That and i purchased a Wacom tablet (intous 9 X 12) and that made digital doodling and drawing so much easier, keep tuned, but I will keep this thread alive, 'less a mod locks it

Well, just two more serious drawings I did.  I'm asking for some helpful critiques on these, and yes I know the Charger's are from two different years and yes the grille on the one is slightly off center. 

Also, more drawings... Enjoy


Pardon my inaccuracies in the gill, its an older drawing of mine



used a reference for this one (thought the car was a different number)


just a sketch that started...


and ended like this.

full image here http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/art/Sand-Runner-final-84525540

[Teh Geek Lord]

oh noes a double post 



yet another drawing, with more advice taken

getting better?

I hope I am...

[Nomicakes]

Looks very nice

Also, INVISIBLE DRIFT SKATES.

[Teh Geek Lord]

AHAHA, drift skates   

I'll update when i finally finish that drawing...

[Teh Geek Lord]

bump I guess...

to go a little off my own topic...

I'm now working as an apprentice for a comic artist who is an artist for Darkhorse comics.  I'm in assistance with his current project and fir the first time using real art tools (everything prior to this was with a regular pencil)

This one was done with HB pencil, clay eraser, and varying thickness pigment pens...

constructive crits are welcome on this (I know already that the lines could be cleaner and neater, working on fixing that on future ink drawings)



also did this a while back in regular pencil...

[glambourine]

The first one is totally a class act to the max--I think the hatching on the wheels could maybe go a little darker but that's it.  The second one I think the wheel in the bottom right may be out of perspective--it kind of looks like it's canted over underneath the car.

[Teh Geek Lord]

I'm working on a second inked muscle car, putting more time into the finer details

also.... this...



large scale image can be seen here:

http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/art/Rush-Conrad-103209907

[Teh Geek Lord]

uh-oh... bump time!

more art... this time a Kenworth K-100 cabover semi tractor


Full size image can be seen in my Deviant art page here:
http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/art/Buck-s-Truck-Final-104132413

[Boro_Bandito]

Dude, drop the furries and draw a comic about cars, those cars, are pretty damn good cars. Also, your art style has definitely improved, but I want to remark back to what someone else said earlier about the shape of eyes. Yeah, human eyes aren't rectangles in the real world, but in a cartoon universe, eyes can be whatever you want them to be, as long as its consistent with your drawing style. Who says that a comic has to be realistic in the way its drawn, or even done in the western comic book or anime style or whatever. Look at Shlock Mercenary or hell even QC. those are very unique styles of drawing. Now, granted the artists who started those out were piss poor at drawing back in the day and their art has developed over time, and you're definitely starting ahead of that curve here, but I think you should go for something more stylized than what you're doing, maybe not absolutely Looney Tunes Cartoony or anything, especially because I like those cars so much.

[Teh Geek Lord]

Dude, drop the furries and draw a comic about cars, those cars, are pretty damn good cars. Also, your art style has definitely improved, but I want to remark back to what someone else said earlier about the shape of eyes. Yeah, human eyes aren't rectangles in the real world, but in a cartoon universe, eyes can be whatever you want them to be, as long as its consistent with your drawing style. Who says that a comic has to be realistic in the way its drawn, or even done in the western comic book or anime style or whatever. Look at Shlock Mercenary or hell even QC. those are very unique styles of drawing. Now, granted the artists who started those out were piss poor at drawing back in the day and their art has developed over time, and you're definitely starting ahead of that curve here, but I think you should go for something more stylized than what you're doing, maybe not absolutely Looney Tunes Cartoony or anything, especially because I like those cars so much.

I'm great with cars, but coming up with an interesting plot with cars would be a daunting task, not that I wouldn't take a shot at it.   I can probably do a racing comic or something... but the entire plot and such would be from scratch, and I'm just about done with the current comic's story board... I really do like this idea you have presented.  I have my own comic that I'm trying to tie loose ends (the characters don't exactly have to be furries, I'm debating that part, but I HATE drawing human faces) and I'm working as an apprentice for a comic artist who has published works with Darkhorse Comics, and hopefully that comic we are working on will be done and published soon.  I'm sort of at a crossroads, but my art ability is getting much, much better, thanks in no small part to the members here who gave some damn good insight and crits.  Keep an eye on my DA page (in my sig) for more constant updates on what I'm doing about the comic and other ideas I'm tossing around. 

Thanks!

[Jace]

A plot about cars?

[Teh Geek Lord]

A plot about cars?

oh-so-epic

I already can draw the "hidden" version... haha
http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/art/Buck-s-Truck-Final-104132413

[w00tang]

fuckin tight ass cars and shit. the comics, a little too wordy just make em short and sweet and not describing what i can see

[Teh Geek Lord]

the comic story line has been dropped all together, with a much more thought out one in the works.  It sill pertains to my "Furry" character, Cross and its being done in a "Crime Noir" style, mainly black and white, I'm moving on from the crosshatching, as it consumes far too much time. 

Thanks, man glad you like!

[Teh Geek Lord]

a comic practice page... practice for the comic I'm working on as an apprentice...

opinions and critiques much welcomed, please.

[Jace]

You do not need any dialogue in those panels. It makes it so much better knowing that the guys is currently not saying anything, but just turns and shoots some guy.