I have an Interview With Brokencyde.

[elizaknowswhatshesfor]

This is my first topic ever, I was going to wait but I'm laughing too hard.

If anyone has any questions they'd like to ask them let me know. I'd like to state I slagged them off to high hell when I reviewed them yet I'm still allowed.

http://www.dieshellsuit.co.uk/article_detail.asp?rID=4008 Here's the review.

Oh my days.

[evilbobthebob]

How about "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" for a start. That would be potentially disturbing to know. Alternatively "WWHHHHHYYYYYY?" would also work.

[spoon_of_grimbo]

Kick each one of them in the balls and then ask them, calmly, "now, why do you think I just did that?"

[Bastardous Bassist]

I think the best quote about whether or not they're serious comes from the LA times.
"[Brokencyde is] a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile."

As for my question, it's more of an order.  Shoot them, or get them to shoot themselves.

[evilbobthebob]

Mmm I think the LA Times have got it right there. It's amusing that they're OK about an interview considering what you wrote in that blog Eliza. It was rather amusing to read    I've never really had the displeasure of listening to Brokencyde, somehow I've managed to avoid them or just watched their music videos labelled as "worst video ever".

I've thought of another question: "What do you think of crabcore?"

[elizaknowswhatshesfor]

I am working that quote into a question as we speak....

[Christophe]

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

[a pack of wolves]

"Given that you're marketed solely towards children do you not think your lyrics might be a touch inappropriate? At the moment you're a bit like if Tickle Me Elmo started telling kids to massage his swollen rod."

[elizaknowswhatshesfor]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


also


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I do have some quesions along those lines...more "I own albums with song titles that would make Seth Putin blush, why is it I find your lyrics so utterly repugnant?" I like yours better though!

I do want to try and get something out of them, so I'm trying REALLLY hard not to just offend them & piss them off...IT'S TOO HARD!

[boneykingofnowhere]

Ask them how they justify listing the dude who works the fog machines and lights as a member of the band. No, im not kidding.

[Melodic]

What is your perfect Sunday?

[Bastardous Bassist]

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

The Voight-Kampff Test is a fantastic way to determine if they are or aren't trying to destroy humanity.  Also, see if you can get them to fail the Turing test.  Get your comp-sci friends to set up a Brokencyde computer program, and see if we can figure out which one is the real band based solely on the transcripts.

[Zombiedude]

What's with the pig man?

[Johnny C]

Don't - do not - do jokes.

You have a very rare opportunity, and that is to try and generate an excellent, insightful and readable interview with Brokencyde. Try to get them to talk as honestly and candidly as possible about what it is to be in Brokencyde - the songwriting process, the touring process, their methods of making records. Find out why they wanted E-40 to do a guest spot.

There are tons of jokes about this band on the internet and every one of them is tired. They themselves are a joke and I think they know it. Treat this interview the same way you'd treat an interview with your absolute favourite artist. The results should be gold.

[Zombiedude]

Also ask them if they think any of their songs are misogynistic.

[evilbobthebob]

Answer: "Misogynistic? That would be an awesome band name/album name/song title!"

Taking the interview seriously would be very funny. I doubt they've ever been taken seriously in an interview before.

[Ptommydski]

JC is right. They will clown themselves and it will be awesome.

Ask them about their motivations and the dichotomy of art and commerce. Dig really deep.

[Sox]

Don't - do not - do jokes.

You have a very rare opportunity, and that is to try and generate an excellent, insightful and readable interview with Brokencyde. Try to get them to talk as honestly and candidly as possible about what it is to be in Brokencyde - the songwriting process, the touring process, their methods of making records. Find out why they wanted E-40 to do a guest spot.

There are tons of jokes about this band on the internet and every one of them is tired. They themselves are a joke and I think they know it. Treat this interview the same way you'd treat an interview with your absolute favourite artist. The results should be gold.

This is correct. Not only would it likely yield incredibly comic results far great than anything else you could attempt, but it would most likely catch those guys way off guard. Do not try to be funny.
BrokeNCYDE is a thing you can't make up. If you were paid a million dollars, you wouldn't be able to write a better joke than BrokeNCYDE. Let this joke speak for itself. If you attempt comedy, it'll just be like when your friends who aren't funny keep trying to expand on a joke somebody else made until it's just annoying

[Johnny C]

I'm not even hoping for funny, though that would rule. My hope is a compelling, readable interview, well-written and documenting an interesting conversation between you and a contemporary cultural force, an act which has burst well out of its bizarre, tiny niche to become something that a lot of people are at least somewhat aware of.

Can you imagine that interview?

[Ptommydski]

You're relying on BrokenCYDE being able to coherently articulate responses.

I think their inability will provide humour.

[elizaknowswhatshesfor]

Thankyou for getting what I want to do, I've been in touch with their PR guy & one of the reasons I've got the interview is because I've said I have no desire to shitbag them, I already did that with the review. I do actually want to find out what the fuck they are about, I dislike a lot of music, but I don't like it when I just don't get it.

I was thinking about warming them up with some "What's your favourite youtube video, most viewed myspace page, most listened to last.fm track, last song on your ipod" quick easy, internet based stuff so I can move onto questions that imply I'm not a just after a cheap joke.

I'm asking you guys for a reason, I wouldn't even mention it to most of the other forums I post on....(this is a compliment).

[stringcheese]

Why "crunkcore?" Why not just be a normal rap group that does party hits?
What has been your most memorable show that you've done?
Nastiest thing someone said about your music?
Thoughts on the music industry?
Pro-Piracy or not?
Where do you get the girls in your videos from?

[Zombiedude]

Have you heard of Attack Attack!, or no?

[Be My Head]

Ask them about any recent dreams they remember having.

[a pack of wolves]

Find out why they wanted E-40 to do a guest spot.

I would really like to know about that. I thoroughly enjoyed My Ghetto Report Card.

Hmm, serious questions? Well, you could ask them about how they feel mp3 players have affected their music. Is the way they chuck screams into rap songs that steal from dance music a direct product of the way they listen to music? And facetious as my earlier question was, I do think asking them about their thoughts on the fact that so much of their audience seem to be children could be worthwhile. Does this give them an added responsibility, and if so what are they responsible to these kids for? Would altering their lyrics to be less, well, dodgy be responsible or would that simply be patronising? Do they think people's distaste about their band stems from prudishness about what is in reality healthy sexual behaviour, just dressed up in a way an older generation can't understand?

[Koremora]

Dear god, if you follow the advice on this thread this could potentially be the greatest interview ever conducted.















(on BrokeNCYDE)

[Yayniall]

Ask them if they've ever been part of the scene, any scene.

[scarred]

Challenge them to drink forty forties! IN FORTY MINUTES

[Cire27]

Someone needs to contact Nardwuar.

[Zombiedude]

Ask them if they learned any music theory.

[Ptommydski]

Ask them if they've ever been part of the scene, any scene.

Good memory.

[David_Dovey]

I remember seeing another interview with one of the Brokencyde fellows (which now I can not for the life of me find) where the guy basically came across as a really nice, earnest dude who just thinks he is making pretty sweet party jams.

[Hat]

They still seem like better people than any member of Deez Nuts I can think of so I feel we should reward them for this.

[Ballard]

If you were paid a million dollars, you wouldn't be able to write a better joke than BrokeNCYDE.

You might be taking this a little bit far..

[elizaknowswhatshesfor]

Even if they don't make it into my final interview write up I promise I will ask every single serious question in her and post the results. Some of these questions I have already written down, some of them I never would have though of!

Honestly thankyou.

[Johnny C]

BrokenCYDE seem very, very aware of their fanbase, and that's always intrigued me. Please ask them how important that awareness is to them - ask them to what degree their fans factor into their artistic decisions.

Also, please ask them about Warped Tour. There hasn't been a lot written about it but obviously something like that would affect the band itself, and I haven't read anything on that. See what they know about their removal - if they were given a concrete reason or if they were just dropped. Find out what their response was immediately even though it's easy to surmise, and find out how they feel about it now.

I'm really, genuinely excited to see the interview.

[SirJuggles]

Question: When is this interview? When will we have a chance to reap the glory of this momentous event?

[Lise]

Oh my god, I started laughing as soon as I envisioned Brokencyde having a "proper interview." Your review was fantastic, by the way. If Brokencyde wants an interview from you after that big insult, they've got to be full of masochists.

The only question I'd have for them would be, "What the f*** INSPIRES your 'music'?" (the word "music" loosely applies, here. I play Brokencyde to punish people because listening to it causes actual physical pain).

[Ballard]

I remember seeing another interview with one of the Brokencyde fellows (which now I can not for the life of me find) where the guy basically came across as a really nice, earnest dude who just thinks he is making pretty sweet party jams.

See, what I'd want to know then is:

Is the guy of the impression that he's making awesome music in the form of sweet party jams, or is he consciously making awful music 'cause it's funny?

[Bastardous Bassist]

Or are they making music because they know, regardless of what we think of it, they know it will make money?  Are they playing the system, or genuinely producing what they consider to be good music (at least as far as what they're trying to produce)?

I wouldn't ask this question directly, but if you could just ask them what they're trying to accomplish with their music (probably not high art, but between money or good tunes at least), I think you'll find out as much as they're willing to give about the above.

[Hat]

let's apply occam's razor here and assume that the interview Dovey is talking about is accurate and this guy's actual motivation might just be to make sweet party jams?

[Johnny C]

Yeah it's not about questioning the authenticity of their motivations or whether they're out to "make money" it's about finding out how they think and what they think of themselves and what they do. There's an element of self-awareness to brokencyde I think, and personally I want to see someone from the group articulate it.

[Bastardous Bassist]

I'm just wondering how deep that self-awareness runs.  Do they even care that some people think they're making the worst music that could possibly exist?  Are they people like we, who just decided that somebody wanted to hear some truly terrible party music, and they stepped up and filled a niche?  Or do they just want to make fun music and they're somewhat annoyed by people trying (and obviously failing) to take them seriously?

[Johnny C]

dude you can't even approach the interview like that, you are basically calling them on their music and there's no way to get anything interesting out of straight confronting someone just cause what they value in music is different from what you value?

obviously i hate their music but i'd rather not read an interview telling them that.

[Bastardous Bassist]

Clearly, the question of what they're trying to accomplish with this music will answer those questions.  Don't be hostile about it, but I think that if someone asked me what I was trying to accomplish with my music, I would answer quite honestly (depending on how much I am willing to reveal).

[RallyMonkey]

I would ask them about their future as a band, where they want to artistically take their albums, and if they see themselves still together in 20 years, also, how they feel about reunion tours.

[Zombiedude]

Ask them if they were expecting a serious interview.

[David_Dovey]

Or are they making music because they know, regardless of what we think of it, they know it will make money?  Are they playing the system, or genuinely producing what they consider to be good music (at least as far as what they're trying to produce)?

Also, Brokencyde really aren't THAT succesful, and they probably won't ever be? They might be doing pretty well by underground standards and maybe they make enough to do music professionally but ultimately they are more infamous than famous.

Also it's probably worth noting that -at least in my experience with my local scene- hardcore/scene kids have always had a pretty self-aware or "ironic" love for dirty south and crunk music, and going further back than that gangster rap in the 90's (Remember Biohazard, guys?). In retrospect it's hardly surprising that someone actually combined the two in music. It's also hardly surprising that the result was dogshit.

[Sox]

You clearly haven't met their fans.
People who like BrokeNCYDE REALLY like BrokeNCYDE.
BrokeNCYDE are a story. Like, you listen to their whole catalogue and there's an obvious story of musicians growing together and maturing. Are you saying a Henry James novel is inaccessible because you don't wanna read all those pages?
I don't really know that many people who know them or even like them.
They are one thing. Three, occasionally four things, but one thing. And sometimes a crunk pig.
They stick out because you hear something else. They wrote songs as timeless as rock songs can be.
They don't think about this as like "oh, we're a joke, we're an indie band, we don't wanna be anything, we write these songs that no-one understands", they're thinking "this stuff kicks ass."
It's true that they sold X number of records instead of fifty times X or whatever, but, still, there's people out there for who it's like...a very important thing.

[Jeans]

holy shit darryl.

I mean, uh. well played.