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Author Topic: This needs to be explained away (Marten's student loans)  (Read 3350 times)
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« on: November 14, 2009, 05:04:28 AM »

In number 37, Marten complains to Jimbo that he has thousands in student loans to pay off.

In #435, Marten's mom says her work paid for Marten's tuition.

It would violate the no-nitpicking rule to complain about this apparent inconsistency, but there's no rule against making up elaborate silly stories to "explain" it. Surely we can come up with something more interesting than the real explanation.

How about this: Marten's mom tried to game the system by having him take out student loans even though he didn't need them and then invest the proceeds. Unfortunately, the investment in Hillary Clinton porn flopped, leaving Marten on the hook to pay back the loans out of his meager income.

Or, Marten had his tuition covered, but even his mother's income couldn't cover the cost of textbooks, so he had to take out multi-kilobuck loans to finance them.

Or maybe it was peer pressure -- his fellow students surrounded him in a circle and said "All the COOL kids are taking out student loans".

Or Marten lied to his mother about the tuition to spare her feelings and allow her to believe she was covering his education while he sank into debt.

None of these are quite wacky enough. We need to get Pintsize into the story somehow.
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2009, 05:15:37 AM »

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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2009, 08:51:20 AM »

Please remember that tuition is only one part of the cost of going to college.  There's housing, fees, textbooks, and they all often add up to more than tuition! 

My graduate assistantship paid my tuition in grad school.  Didn't pay for housing or food, though... still have loans out the ass, even after refinancing I'll be paying them off well into retirement! 
« Last Edit: November 15, 2009, 12:59:48 PM by Carl-E » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2009, 11:27:47 AM »

Well, at least you can write off all the student loan interest on your tax return! (At least, I know you can if you got a government student loan package...)
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« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2009, 01:01:05 PM »

Small, relatively cold comfort, believe me! 
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« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2009, 01:49:30 PM »

That must be how Marten was able to get an eleven hundred dollar tax refund.
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« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2009, 12:26:22 AM »

I've only been out of college for ~17 months, but if I wanted to bankrupt myself for a couple months, I could pay off all my student loans in full right now.

A government salary may suck, but it's guaranteed, comes more or less on time, and I even get a housing and subsistence allowance.  And a massive tax return; bought an Asus laptop with this year's return and still had several hundred left over for a new couch Cheesy
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« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2009, 08:33:36 AM »

I bet he was just tempted by an interest free loan even though his tuition was covered. He probably bought guitars and albums with it.
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« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2009, 03:20:03 PM »

Unfortunately, the investment in Hillary Clinton porn flopped

Can't imagine why...
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« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2009, 03:27:17 PM »

Good point: today he buys guitars every chance he gets. Maybe he didn't invest the money after all.
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« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2009, 05:27:20 PM »

Good point: today he buys guitars every chance he gets. Maybe he didn't invest the money after all.

On the other hand, those guitars aren't exactly loosing value every day. Neat little retirement fund?
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« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2009, 09:15:26 PM »

Depends on the guitar.  You can't count on the value of things like that going up forever, it's market-driven. 
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« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2009, 08:24:07 AM »

Out of production "legendary" guitars have a fixed or shrinking supply so demand can only really increase unless their reputation gets ruined somehow, so it's therefore a fairly safe investment. I mean, the odds of someone finding a rich new vein of shit-brown Gibsons in an abandoned guitar-mine somewhere in IL are quite low.
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« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2009, 10:47:21 AM »

Well, yeah, if you're just going to look in Illinois. I've often said shafts should be sunk in Iowa, Nebraska, and, of course, Manitoba, but nobody listens.
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« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2009, 08:03:56 AM »

Well, yeah, if you're just going to look in Illinois. I've often said shafts should be sunk in Iowa, Nebraska, and, of course, Manitoba, but nobody listens.
Actually we have the world's largest reserves of shit-brown Gibsons here in Australia. We dig 'em out in huge open-cast mines and ship them directly to China, where they're broken up to make Guitar Hero controllers:

« Last Edit: November 22, 2009, 08:06:10 AM by Akima » Logged
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« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2009, 10:20:16 AM »

After Mr. Young picks them over, I assume.
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« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2009, 05:11:04 PM »

Please remember that tuition is only one part of the cost of going to college.  There's housing, fees, textbooks, and they all often add up to more than tuition! 

Yeah, when I was in college, turtion was only about 1/6 or less of the fees I had to pay each semester.  That includes room and board in the dorms, but not books and supplies.  In a typical semester, the required textbooks themselves were more than the tuition.
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