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Author Topic: the Die Hard franchise is just messing with us at this point  (Read 4065 times)

Stryc9Fuego

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I think the writers have more fun coming up with the movie titles for these Die Hard movies than anything else The title for the latest one due out on Valentines Day?

A Good Day to Die Hard

...oh my aching soul.

[SPOILERS] John McClaine finds himself in a terrorist plot. [/SPOILERS]

Blyss

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That one is pretty good, as these things go.  Though to be honest, they'd be hard pressed to get any better(worse) than Die Hard 2: DIE HARDER.

That one still makes me groan out loud all these years later.

I found it interesting a few years ago whilst reading an article about the Die Hard franchise, that none of them were actually written as a series - but are several different stories that the Die Hard writers just read, and then said, "Fuck yeah!  We can totally stick John McClane in that, and make fucking millions!"  And then they did just that.

I like my Die Hards, I really do, but I would not be honest if I didn't disclose that I have to remove most of my brain to enjoy it.  As long as I keep in mind that it's just my stupid actionysplodey Die Hard movie, I'm good.
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Stryc9Fuego

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Found this fuckin' thing. Old as hell but relevant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGfmfPYiO1w

drmike

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This is the only thing I took away from the series.  The fountain scene.

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TheEvilDog

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I've always loved the Die Hard movies, but I will admit they seem to be flogging the dead horse at this stage.

An international team of geriatrics take over the wrong retirement home as John McClane locks and loads before pill time! Bruce Willis in... Die Hard 6! Nurse, The Tapioca Has Gone (Die) Hard Again.
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Rockman

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I was disappointed to find out that this movie takes place in Moscow.  I was really hoping it would take place on Qo'noS.  McClane v. the Klingons.

"Perhaps today is a good day to die!"
"No, you p'tak - it's a good day to die hard."
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Kugai

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James The Kugai 

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Stryc9Fuego

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Old habits Die Hard.

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I just need to repeat how I've pictured a lengthy series of Hollywood pitch meetings after Die Hard.

First you had a series of ripoffs like "Die Hard, in a stadium", "Die Hard, in a school", etc. until you finally get somebody pitching Speed as "Die Hard, on a Bus".

After Speed, you have writers pitching "Speed, on a ship", "Speed, on a train", etc. until eventually somebody pitches, "Speed, in a high rise building".
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Kugai

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About then, The Men in White Coats will burst in and haul everybody off.



One hopes
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James The Kugai 

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henri bemis

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I would watch Die Hard on a Speeding Spaceship so much.  so, so much.  It would be the most terrible movie in the world, and I'd love every second of it.  If you're going to jump all the sharks, you have to commit.
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riccostar

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Makes one wonder what constitutes a good day for dying hard.  Is it based on the weather or does Brucey just know what days are best suited for it now?
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Bev

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Bruce Willis confirms the 6th films title, "You only die hard twice".
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Stryc9Fuego

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I would watch Die Hard on a Speeding Spaceship so much.  so, so much.  It would be the most terrible movie in the world, and I'd love every second of it.  If you're going to jump all the sharks, you have to commit.
Oh Space Jesus, that does sound terrible and beautiful. "Die Hard X"
"How does the same thing happen to the same guy... in space?" -Future Spacecop John McClane

TheEvilDog

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Actually, can we all remember for a second that Die Hard and Die Hard 2 are technically Christmas movies?
Which is why this evening, I will be watching the ultimate Christmas movie.
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Kugai

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Christmas In Hawaii?


 :-D
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James The Kugai 

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TheEvilDog

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Christmas In Hawaii?


 :-D

Hans Gruber would like to have a word with you Mr. Takagi.
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Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart but I am street smart.", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I am imaginary smart."

Blyss

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Nice Suit.  John Phillips, London.  Rumor has that Arafat buys his there too..."
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Kugai

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Christmas In Hawaii?


 :-D

Hans Gruber would like to have a word with you Mr. Takagi.


He can find me on the twentieth floor.  Oh, and I found my shoes BTW
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James The Kugai 

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dps

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Old habits Die Hard.

Nun terrorists?
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henri bemis

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Old habits Die Hard.

Nun terrorists?

Best Sister Act sequel ever.
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jwhouk

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Bruce Willis! Whoopi Goldberg! A Laugh-Filled Holiday fighting the mob - and terrorists!

It's "BAD HABITS DIE HARD: SISTER ACT 3"!


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"Do NOT tell me that hasn't been pitched SOMEWHERE in Hollywood..."

Spriteling

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The Die Hard movies are only good for the explosions.  That's why the third one was so disappointing.  They tried to actually have a plot, instead of just blowing shit up.
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Stryc9Fuego

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They did hit that one mime, though...

Kugai

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That's sad. 

After all, a mime is a terrible thing to waste.
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James The Kugai 

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Spriteling

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There just aren't enough mimes in the world.

Actually I think mimes are terrifying.  Just like clowns.
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Stryc9Fuego

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You've played Space Station 13, then. Yeah, they're both evil.

de_la_Nae

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Since I didn't see it in this thread...gentlemen...BEHOLD!

Die Hard by Guyz Nite
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Since I didn't see it in this thread...gentlemen...BEHOLD!

Die Hard by Guyz Nite

Love that song.

As to Die Hard 5, beyond it being a good day to die hard, which makes me immediately think of this from SS3*

Despite it being a full length movie I found it wanting... everything that makes a Die Hard movie a Die Hard movie. The action sequences were minimal and not exactly inspired, the bad guys could have been cool with some actual interplay between them, just weak over all. McClain took out a freaking F-35 on foot in Die Hard 4, sure it was an update of taking down the Harrier jump jet, but I don't care. That was AWESOME. As was the rest of Die Hard 4. DH5... should be taken out back and shot quietly.
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I would watch Die Hard on a Speeding Spaceship so much.
Wasn't that The Fifth Element?
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Kugai

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It was, with fancy costumes too.   :-D
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James The Kugai 

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wheelofdawn

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I read once that the best way to make a Die Hard movie is to NOT write a Die Hard script. Die Hard was originally Commando 2 before it was turned to Die Hard. Die Hard 3 was Simon Says, then Lethal Weapon 4 before becoming With A Vengeance.

What really annoyed me about Die Hard 5 though was what bothered me in Terminator: Salvation, Metal Gear Solid 4 and Matrix 2/3.

They made the hero a pariah among the good guys and in many cases expected the audience to side against the protagonist we love. Was there really such a need to make John look so terrible in the eyes of his son and use his son's perspective more often than not? He's JOHN MCCLAIN. The movie shouldn't try to make me empathize with the plight of his family for the horrible fate of being related to John McClain. It forces Not!John to be the protagonist to sell a father-son bonding story that has no place in this script.

John was hated on and antagonized by his peers in the first 3 movies but we were on his side and we knew he was right.

It just bugs me when movies make a sequel where we see the hero through the judgmental and disapproving eyes of others.
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TheEvilDog

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But then you have no conflict save for that between the protagonist and antagonist. Which makes for a somewhat bland story.

As much as I dislike 4.0, it did raise a very good point about what being the hero has done to John McClane's life, summed up by this quote; "You know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, attaboy. You get divorced. Your wife can't remember your last name. Your kids don't want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid, nobody wants to be that guy."

Yeah, we love John McClane because he kicks ass and has a plethora of witty one liners. We sympathise with him when his feet get lacerated by broken glass, or he gets shot or you realise that his marriage is breaking down. But that's because we can see him going through all that. But Holly couldn't see that, Lucy couldn't see that, nor could John Jr. All they saw was John putting his job ahead of them again and again, or "sorry kids, but Daddy is busy". That's on John, his wife and kids do feel they have legitimate reasons not to want John in their lives. I mean in 4.0 he actually stalks his daughter and violently threatens her boyfriend (granted, the guy seemed like a dickhead).

Now consider it from the perspectives of other organisations. You have this cop, comes in, screws things up, causes massive amounts of property destruction, kills the criminals and often risks the lives of innocent civilians. In 5 he went to another country where his being a cop meant absolutely nothing and
(click to show/hide)
. The man is a nightmare for law enforcement. The only reason John still has a job is because he's a lucky bastard who tends to be right.

One incredibly interesting point to note is that John starts to get a whole lot darker and more acerbic after the plane crashes in Die Hard 2. That's 200+ innocent people murdered because he, and the airport crew tried to warn the planes. All those deaths are on their heads, and considering that for John, its an incredibly stark reminder of what could be in store for his wife, it leaves his very jaded and difficult in dealing with the authorities.

Ultimately we're seeing John McClane, not through his eyes, but through how others see him, and to be honest, its not a pretty picture. We know John McClane is a hero, but its hidden under a lonely, bitter and jaded shell.
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Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart but I am street smart.", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I am imaginary smart."

wheelofdawn

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Wow that's a good dang post. I appreciate the heck out of that and have no further rebuttal.

Thanks, man! You made me respect 4.0 and Good Day more than I did.
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