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Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: ackblom12 on 18 Nov 2012, 16:53

Title: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 18 Nov 2012, 16:53
I got to thinking about it one day and I got sad about no longer having something like the 80's glut of ridiculous horror. Due to the increase in popularity of the Slasher flick, horror fans got a ridiculous feast of horror. A prolific golden age where the concept of a horribly deformed human that looks like a lump of scar tissue, with arms and a face, that lived in a basket was so good that it got 3 movies.

There are, of course, still the occasional gems such as Thankskilling, but I still miss that wonderful age of never ending ridiculous horror that was actually fun to watch. Post your favorite clips from whatever era you prefer! If you can, include a short review.


Deadly Friend (1986):

This is a pretty basic bit of schlock. Boy moves to new town, gets robot friend named Sam. Sam gets jealous and starts killing those who hurt him or take up too much of his time. This movie is pretty enjoyable, but it has one scene that sends it leaps and bounds over many others.


Absolutely priceless!

And here's the trailer.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 19 Nov 2012, 12:19
The Keep (1983)

This is a bit of an odd one. Synth music playing everywhere, it's hard to take it too seriously just because it's so damn 80's, but it tries so hard to be taken seriously.The plot is that German soldiers take up post in a Keep during WW2. One of the soldiers releases a demon and soldier's start dying. Because of this, the SS show up to take over the post and be total murderous dicks, as Nazi's want to do. The Wehrmacht are not pleased. A Jewish professor and his daughter are brought in to figure out what's going on. More death and supernatural shenanigans occur.


If you want to watch it, it's both on Netflix and Youtube here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbYfWUvodDU)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 20 Nov 2012, 13:37
Split Second (1992):

I love love love this movie. It stars Rutger Hauer, has the aesthetics of a cyberpunk dystopia and features what is hinted at being a Lovecraftian demon. After severe climate change,  most of London is under a foot or so of water in 2008 and Hauer is a rather unhinged detective. After a serial killer from Hauer's past shows up, tearing the heart from the chest of it's victims, they discover that the killerr takes the DNA of it's victims for an unknown reason and adds it to it's own. The creature taunts and lure Hauer into giving it chase by attacking it's victims, leaving clues and forcing him into a cat and mouse hunt.  I just really really love this movie and you should definitely watch it. Best way I've heard it described is thus: It's what happens when Bladerunner, Predator and Lethal Weapon have a baby.


Here is the entire film on Youtube. Split Second (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtwqSWyXQwQ)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: riccostar on 20 Nov 2012, 20:07
I, sadly, have no contribution that comes to mind but I'm enjoying the hell out of this thread.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 20 Nov 2012, 22:59
I'm glad! I was going to continue doing it even if it was just me wanking on about schlock all by my lonesome, but it's better if others are enjoying it.

Also, I just saw a review for Split Second that sums it up perfectly. It's what happens when Bladerunner, Predator and Lethal Weapon have a baby.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 20 Nov 2012, 23:03
I certainly hope you all realize this entire thread is incredibly NSFW.

The Wizard of Gore (1970):

Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, this movie is considered to be the father of gore horror for very good reasons. The stage wizard Montag hypnotizes audiences at his shows and brutally murders one of them on stage without anyone noticing the wounds he's causing are real. The victims are later found with the same kind of wounds they received in the magic show. I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE!?!? The ending is actually pretty fantastic and it's just an overall wonderful bit of film history if you are into the genre at all. There was a remake made in 2007, but I've not seen it yet.

The gore FX used were fantastic and also includes great stories such as this one included in the wiki:

Quote
In The Amazing Herschell Gordon Lewis, Daniel Krogh notes that the film's graphic gore effects were accomplished with two sheep carcasses. The carcasses, which had to be carried around for more than two weeks while the film was being shot, were soaked in Pine-Sol. Krogh also describes how the chainsaw sequence was filmed: two women, one whose upper body was exposed and another whose legs were exposed, played the single victim. A fake midsection filled with animal organs, mortician's wax and condoms full of stage blood were placed between the two women.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 22 Nov 2012, 12:11
Thankskilling (2009):

This is an absolutely absurd movie that actually manages to be very entertaining. Every single horror trope is used and taken to caricature levels of ridiculousness, but it manages to come together for a very fun film. It sometimes falls a bit flat, but when it's on point it's ridiculously entartaining. I just hope I don't have to tell you that a film call Thankskilling, which is about a demonically possessed turkey, is not a good movie in any sense of the word. There is a sequel and the 3rd film is currently being made after a successful Kickstarter funding campaign.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 23 Nov 2012, 14:20
976-EVIL (1988):

For those of you who are not aware, 976 was one of the payline numbers for the US in the 80's that were replaced entirely by the 900 numbers in the 90's. In this film, directed by Robert Englund (aka Freddy Krueger), Satan uses his line to give out strange horrorscopes (hurr) and grants power to those who follow his instructions. For those who don't, terrible things tend to happen. One teenager, constantly the victim of bullying, accepts it fully and ends up possessed by Bellzebub itself and goes on a killing spree, hoping to bring Hell to Earth. The movie is great fun and the entire soundtrack was done by The Deftones.


There is a sequel titled...

976-EVIL 2:

This one has a local college dean who has fallen prey to the temptations of the horrorscope phone line. He's been killing local ladies for a few months and is finally caught, whie the hero from the first film shows back up in town. Having just watched it recently, it's more fun than I recall, but it doesn't hold a candle to the first film. It has one absolutely amazing scene, but that's about it.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: LTK on 24 Nov 2012, 04:53
Are you familiar with this guy (http://moviebob.blogspot.com/)'s stuff on the Escapist (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/articles/MovieBob)? Seems like you'd enjoy it.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 24 Nov 2012, 14:17
I'm not, but I'm bookmarking it to survey it in more detail. For now, I move onto the original gore horror film...

Blood Feast (1963):

This is the first gore horror film released and it was directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, the director of The Wizard of Gore. It was by far the bloodiest and goriest thing to have ever been released and was also the earliest gore inspired film released in color. This led to a hell of a lot of problems with getting it into theaters, bu thankfully it has survived. The film itself is a wonderfully self aware schlockfest. The villian, Faud Ramses, has some of the best eyebrows I've ever seen and is a cannibal worshiper of the goddess Ishtar. He murders virgins, takes body parts and cooks delicious meals of his victims. He has a catering service that he uses to try and have a great Feast of flesh in order to awaken Ishtar from her slumber and it's wonderful all around. Very entertaining film that you can watch on youtube here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEbeWMmp57U)


Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002):

Not quite so entertaining, but still a fun film. It's worth a watch, but it's missing something from the first film. Despite being directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, much like many of the modern attempts at rebooting schlock franchises or making sequels it just doesn't work so well as they had hoped. It can also be watched on Youtube here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCyhJ-GGM20&feature=watch-now-button&wide=1)

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: Thrillho on 25 Nov 2012, 13:41
By the way, Killdozer is on YouTube in its entirety.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 15:41
I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990):

This is one of the brightest shining gems of schlock history, or at the very least, of the 90's. Everything about this movie just oozes schlock and a genuine love of the film project. The campiric motorcycles designs, the attempted excorcism, the death scenes and even the talking turd that has absolutely no point in the film whatsoever, other than the overpowering urge to include a scene with a talking turd. Pure love all throughout. If you ever have the opportunity, watch this film. You will absolutely not regret it.

Also it includes the greatest opening line in trailer history. "Most good motorcycles run on gasoline. This is a bad motorcycle. It runs on blood."



Also, if you want to read a fantastic review of the film, you should read it here. (http://pocketjury.net/2011/05/your-world-will-hate-this-i-bought-a-vampire-motorcycle/)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 19:17
House of Long Shadows (1983):

This is a ridiculously fun comedic horror film starring some of the best people of film horror. It follows a novelist who makes a bet that he can start and finish a novel in 24 hours, to make it a little more interesting he agrees to do it at a allegedly haunted house. During this night, the family who owns the house (long thought dead), and the man who actually owns the house, makes his night as stress filled and strange as they can possible muster. Peter Cushing pronounces all of his Rs as Ws, Vincent Price plays Vincent Price in the most charming way possible, Christopher Lee is as intimidating and charming as ever. It's just a wonderfully fun movie and it has a scene that sums up why I love Vincent Price so incredibly well.


Pardon the Danish subtitles. I can't find a version that doesn't have them.

Edit: This is the first post I uploaded my own video and I think I'm going to try doing so when I can from here on out. The only reason I only link the trailers for some of these is because I just can't find anything else on Youtube.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 25 Nov 2012, 21:37
Heh. While this sort of thing isn't my own usual fare, I've had some friends and housemates really into it, so I've seen some shit, including a few of these!

Funny sidenote: The Keep was a book first! My mother owned it and I read it as an old child / young teen. There are certainly some differences of course, from your description. Of particular interest is that, if I recall properly in the book all soldiers involved are German, but the first group are all regular army (Wehrmacht) with some dedicated Party troopers arriving later. I suppose for the film it was decided to be simpler to make them from different countries.

Also two words: The Stuff.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 21:43
I couldn't possibly forget about The Stuff! I've got a ridiculous number of films in mind for this, just trying to keep to 1 or 2 a day to keep from burning out on it.

For The Keep, you are actually 100% correct, they are Wehrmacht. Clearly my brain was in a haze of 80's synth when I was watching it for this.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 25 Nov 2012, 21:58
I couldn't possibly forget about The Stuff!

No matter how hard one may try.  :laugh:  Though I have to say, having a Dr. Strangelove reference was surprising.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 22:20
I think there's only a couple of films I'm planning on sharing here that I actually dislike and would say are bad films. The ones I do dislike are absolutely horrible to behold in any sense just because they fail to entertain on any level at all. Like The Stuff for example, very well done bit of schlock. It's clearly got a lot of love put into it. The acting crew clearly enjoyed their work, however amateurish they may have been at times and there's a clear love of the genre involved. It's all about how much fun was had making the film really. When the crews clearly had fun making it, it's going to be entertaining to the intended audience.

I mean, as the review for Vampire Motorcycle says:

"Rating this film seems pointless, because it’s appeal is going to be so starkly limited. In the world of b-movies, there really are no shades of grey. Either you’re the type of person who thinks a film where a vampire motorcycle carves a bloody swathe across Birmingham and Neil Morrissey is choked by a talking lump of shit is one of the best things they’ve ever heard of, or you’re not."
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 25 Nov 2012, 22:36
I can totally dig it. I'm fond of The Stuff, even as I want to bop it on the nose with a newspaper sometimes.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 22:40
There are also those people who enjoy schlock films for really fucking creepy reasons. Rabid Fangoria readers regularly get into this territory.

There is not much more disapointing for me than when I think you've met someone who I can nerd out about schlock and I mention a scene and they... get weird about it. I'm not sure how to describe it really.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 25 Nov 2012, 22:49
You mean like talking to anyone who REALLY REALLY LIKED Cannibal Holocaust?
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Nov 2012, 22:50
Yes, exactly that. I happen to really enjoy that film, but that is the exact person I am referring to.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 25 Nov 2012, 22:59
Yeah, I know I have some things I can fixate on pretty heavily, so I can't throw *too* many stones out of this glass house, but...there are certain types of fans that can make things troublesome.

Now as to the movie: I have watched it once, and am okay with never seeing it again. That doesn't mean I think it's bad, I actually think it's worthwhile for anyone even vaguely into the genre. Especially because I'm of the mind it's a great movie for making you and everyone else watching it (usually) really uncomfortable at one point or another. I don't think I've ever had a movie make me hate the uh...protagonists (I guess) quite as much. By the end I found myself quite ready to say goodbye, as it were.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 26 Nov 2012, 13:45
Terrorvision (1986):

This is a fun little gem. This movie is basically a parody of the horror genre, including the social commentary common to horror pushed to extremely ham handed levels. Incredibly neglectful parents that just medicate one child for being rambunctious, the parents are also total pervs with a ridiculous amount of kink centered art in the house, they're swingers, the children are annoying, the grandpa is a war vet who is completely insane, there is a mutant monster and TV actually kills. It's just a wonderful mixture of all of the biggest 80's horror subjects. There is nothing resembling seriousness in this film, just pure 80's overload. I personally thought it was an awfully fun film.


It's available on Netflix or on Youtube here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFsVcflPFl4).
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 26 Nov 2012, 18:40
Blood Sucking Freaks (1976):

Blood Sucking Freaks was one of Troma's first major cult successes, "success" is a bit relative mind you. The film makers had trouble finding anyone to distribute it until Troma came along, and dear lord is it a doozy. Now, if you can imagine something offensive and it doesn't include Nazi's, this film probably has it. It encapsulates all of the offensiveness of exploitation films of the era and kind of tosses it all into the mix, along with an impressive display of knowledge about BDSM practices.

Sardu hosts a Performance Art show where young nubile, and often nude, ladies are tortured to death on stage for an audience. Of course the audience doesn't realize this is not an act. If this sounds a lot like The Wizard of Gore, that's because it's essentially a remake of that film's plot. Sardu also happens to run a massive slavery ring, uses the women in perverse and often lethal fantasies and in general tries to offend you in every possible way. It succeeds in all categories. This is a film that includes a scene where a dwarf uses the severed head of a woman to orally pleasure himself. I think what makes this plot even more ridiculous and fun is that what ends up leading to the film's story, is a very Simon Cowell like critic who end sup driving Sardu to prove himself as a true artist. It's a pretty unique film.

Part of what makes this film enjoyable for those of us who do like it is just with how much glee everyone plays their roles. It's clear that the actor who plays Sardu (who has no other listed acting roles) enjoyed himself immensely, hamming it up whenever he possibly could. Same with the actor who plays the dwarf Ralphus, who has no acting roles listed other than porn and ewoks. Ralphus especially just kind of has a habit of popping up out of nowhere and doing this:


And here is the trailer:


This is absolutely one of the most offensive movies ever made, but it's still not as offesive as Good Dick. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0944101/)

The film is available on Youtube here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJeQ4TkEtlk).
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Nov 2012, 01:23
This is maybe a bit rambly, but I'm considering adding it to the OP.

So occasionally I am reminded at just how weird some people who know me think my fascination with schlock cinema is, especially with the more horribly offensive stuff like Blood Sucking Freaks. I'm very politically left with a lot to say about various -isms, especially within the cultures that I'm a part of (geek, atheist/skeptic and metal communities especially) and generally I find a lot of the things that are common tropes within schlock to be absolutely lazy and rarely used to good effect outside of the genre. I don't think Political Correctness is "out of control" because fuck you, at worst it's a societal contract to not be a fucking asshole and consider how others might take your bullshit. I think that if you believe art, cinema, literature and such can improve a culture, you must also accept that it can also negatively impact it. I do not think Joss Whedon is a feminist, whatever he may believe, nor do I think he does a particularly good job at subverting the -isms he openly claims (and fans claim) to avoid.

I also happen to love this realm of cinema that regularly makes light of rape, sexual assault, racism, classism and a lot of other really touchy topics.

I'm absolutely not going to defend any of these films. I also refuse to be the unfortunately common kind of fan that is actually excited about the fact that the Rape Tree is coming back in the Evil Dead reboot. I love this genre, but I'd prefer to leave a lot of it's tropes in the past, where they belong. Newer schlock films that I enjoy tend to be of a very different style than those from 15+ years ago and it's rare to find ones that keep the same level of love for the artform, but also an understanding of how the world has changed. I want schlock to grow up in certain areas, and the fans make it incredibly hard to do so.

As it is though, I love horror and schlock a lot. Part of what I love about them, is they almost always include a fairly large amount of social commentary about the culture that is commonly lacking in other genres of film of the time. The schlockier it is the more hamhanded it is, but it's heart is usually in the right place. Let's take the 80's for example. How many horror films can you recall that had a theme concerning neglectful parents and the general lack of taking children seriously and the danger that puts them in? The dangers they are put in force them into situations where they must grow in ways they are not prepared for, not because they are stupid or horrible, but because their parents failed to be there when they needed them most. The most famous of them is probably Nightmare on Elm Street, but there were a hell of a lot of them. Of course then there is stuff like Friday the 13th, where the social commentary is stupid teenagers who commit sin die horrible deaths. Those are also great fun. But either way, the point is it's almost as much fun for me to pick apart and analyze these films as it is to just enjoy the stupidity and offensiveness that is so commonly present. This gets doubly interesting when I go into foreign horror films, but that's beside this point.

tl;dr I like schlock which consist of a lot of problematic themes. I know it's problematic and I'm not going to defend it in any way. Give me some feedback on this.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 27 Nov 2012, 09:05
Well I'd say that's an indicator of a pretty good amount of reflection you're doing on the subject, which I think is probably something a lot more fans of the genre need to do on occasion.

There are couple things you touched on that I do want to ramble a bit on myself. First, humor: Quite a few of this general style of film are really and truly funny at times. Dead & Breakfast, Sean of the Dead, Vampire Motorcycle, and many others can be by turns downright hilarious, and often a part of that is the juxtaposition they offer between the tropes, styles, effects, and events going on within them. And while there can be reasons why having fun may be wrong (see anything done in Clockwork Orange for fun), there often isn't.

In addition, just because a story is awful (in its contents or execution) does not mean it is not worthwhile. Stephen King often inflicts terrible and horrific things upon more-or-less innocent characters, often children, but I say there are rather few people that can truthfully deny that It speaks to them in a fundamentally frightening and compelling manner. The Crucible, both the play and the movie, is heartbreaking, especially when one keeps in mind the cultural context in which it was created, but it is good that it exists.

Now many of these films are no It, no Crucible, we all know that. Most of them aren't even trying to be, because they too exist within the wider cultural context of their time and peers. That does not mean they can or should be dismissed without thought though. They can be as entertaining as any more traditional action or comedy film, and besides, many of them (sometimes haltingly or fumblingly) explore important topics. Monkey Shines tells a story that's just as much about obsession and helplessness and frustration as it is about a killer helper monkey. The Lost Boys examines the excesses of uncaring and self-centered hedonism while also being about all 'rock and roll vampire gang fuck yeah!'. 976-EVIL is rather silly, but at the same time illustrates the very real allure of revenge.

Anyway that's enough out of me for a minute.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Nov 2012, 16:12
I don't disagree with anything that you said, but I would like point out one thing to segue into another bit of discussion. I don't consider Sean of the Dead schlock at all. I'll go into that a bit more after I add tonight's films.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Nov 2012, 16:34
Videodrome (1983):

This is one of Cronenberg's best films in my opinion. James Woods plays a sleazy network owner who believes that Television fulfills a basic human need much like that of the gladitorial arena of Rome. He seeks out and puts the most intense and controversial material on his station 24 hours a day. BDSM, torture, combat, war etc. One day he discovers a station called Videodrome, and the movie follows his eventual fall into this world and how it warps his view of reality. One thing of note for this film is it's heavy emphasis on Body Horror and surrealism, The Thing is and Uzumaki being other examples of Body Horror. But what makes this special is that the Body Horror aspects are not only important visually, but are also central to the plot's thesis on the effect of the viewing habits on the psyche of the viewers. It's a brilliant film.

DEATH TO VIDEODROME! LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!


It's on Netflix and is also on Youtube here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RejoAz_xyw)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Nov 2012, 17:04
Rick 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987):

John Mikl Thor, body builder and front man for the 80's metal band THOR, stars in this movie. It's... just watch the clip.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: riccostar on 27 Nov 2012, 19:03
Director: So exactly what is our budget for this project?  I was just told I have to buy my own coffee...

Producer: Seventeen dollars and fifty cents, make 'em count.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 27 Nov 2012, 22:14
I don't consider Sean of the Dead schlock at all.

Too romantic-comedy for it?
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Nov 2012, 22:34
I have a fairly hard time describing what exactly makes schlock in the first place. It's much like porn, you know it when you see it, but actually pinning down what makes something schlock is tough, but it being kind of a romantic comedy doesn't disqualify it from that.

I think at least part of why is that Sean of the Dead is clearly a well budgeted movie with a lot of high quality professionals working on it. Most schlock has a bit of an amateurish feel to it, whatever the experience of the people working on it. Think of a lot of Vincent Price films. They were almost always schlock films, even the high quality cinema he was involved in. Hammy acting, a sense of self awareness, a sense of the budget being more than a little strained. This isn't to say high budget Hollywood films can't be schlock, Tremors being one that comes to mind, but it tends to be B-movie qualities that push it into schlock territory.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 28 Nov 2012, 17:13
Street Trash (1987):

This movie... alright, we all know schlock sometimes takes sarcastic social commentary to ridiculous lengths at times, but this one does so and then beats a homeless man with it. Practically no one in the film is likable, with the exception of two characters which barely even have screen time. The "bums" are all horrible cretins of society with absolutely nothing to make you feel sorry for them, everyone who isn't homeless is a horrible jackass and both the polieman in the movie and the "King of the Bums" are psychopathic lunatics. It's wonderful! To know how classy this film is you have to understand that at one point, a homeless man carves a shiv from the femur of a recent murder victim while having Vietnam flashbacks.

But anyways, the story goes that freeloading parasites of society (the "bums) start drinking a recently discovered old liquor called Viper. When consumed, horrible things happen. That's it. It also includes this death scene:


and the trailer:


Edit: Almost forgot, there is also a scene where the "bums" play keep away with a dude's recently severed penis.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 28 Nov 2012, 18:09
Having spent a bit of time being homeless, that scene without context leaves me a little disquieted, I admit.

However from your description I imagine the character was a jerk, so that makes it vaguely okay, for this genre at least. Though 'the poor all suck and should die' probably isn't the message this film is going for. :p
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 28 Nov 2012, 18:13
I read the film as intending to be social commentary on how basically society in general is fucked by design and practically everyone is horrible because of it, with the people on the bottom of the totem pole getting it the worst in basically every way. It's done in that way that bad standup comedians think making racist jokes isn't actually racist if it's over the top enough and you don't actually mean it.

So yeah, it fits into that "entertaining because of the genre" category.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 28 Nov 2012, 18:19
Roger roger.

By the way: I can dig what you're saying about Sean of the Dead. I disagree, it does trip enough of the elements that I think it (admittedly barely) qualifies, but I follow your reasoning.

I was trying to remember a movie I meant to ask about, but I'm drawing a blank now.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 28 Nov 2012, 18:25
If it was about Starship Troopers, definitely schlock. The most expensive B-Movie ever made.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 28 Nov 2012, 19:41
Oh man, best schlocky satire I think I've ever seen, that movie.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 29 Nov 2012, 20:43
Theatre of Blood (1973):

This is one of Vincent Price's best films as far as I'm concerned. It's also what happens when you ask one of Hollywood's best hammy actors to play a really bad and hammy theatre actor.  Vincent chews every last bit of scenery and it's an absolute site to behold. He also leads a small gang of drunken and mentally ill homeless folk as his own personal army and audience for his terrible plays. It's also the only film where you'll ever get to see Vincent Price dressed as he does in the following clip:


You can watch the whole movie on Netflix or Youtube here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUPC7tgKVGs)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 02 Dec 2012, 01:10
Alright, I'm not posting this movie, but jesus christ I watched the 2009 reboot of Friday the 13th. Outside of being fucking horrible and not feeling like a Friday film, dear lord the amount of racist undertones was horrendous. The film was made in 2009, this is not ok guys.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 02 Dec 2012, 01:52
Phenomena (1985):

Dario Argento, the Italian director, is one of my absolutely favorite directors of all time. He has a real knack for what I consider to be "arthouse horror". Suspiria, Temembre, Inferno, Phenomena, Demons etc etc. All of it is great for various reason. One of the things that sets Argento out of the realm of other horror directors of his day was the fact that he didn't have a single male lead in his films that I can think of. He had a fascination with female culture and exploring the world through a female lead's eyes that was very progressive for the time. This isn't to say he shyed away from a lot of the schlocky elements of other horror films, but instead he integrated schlock into his films almost effortlessly, while still keeping the intellectual and philosophical edge that his movies are known for. Loaded with symbolism and very intense and saturated colors, as well as soundtracks usually supplied by Goblin, he loved to have scenes filled with colors and sound that were almost too intense, making every detail a part of the horror and suspense he was trying to convey.

If there is anyone who could be said to make High Art schlock, it would be Dario Argento.

Now, for Phenomena. This is a wonderful film based around a hard headed American schoolgirl who is sent to a private school in Switzerland where some local murders have been making their rounds on girls around her age. It's discovered that she has a ESP like capability to communicate with and control insects and arachnids of seemingly all sorts. She eventually realizes she can use this power to find the killer and events lead up to the final confrontation. I strongly suspect this movie was a big inspiration for first couple of Friday the 13th films, due to the family dynamic of the killers.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 05 Dec 2012, 00:11
Rawhead Rex (1986):

I'm not real sure if I can describe this movie overly well, but suffice to say, it's Clive Barker's worst movie by a long shot. From what I gather, it's not his fault really. Apparently they butchered the hell out of it, but dear god it's bad. Rawhead Rex is a demon who is summoned back to our world via something or another and comes back in the guise of a terrible rubber suit. It's a terrible movie that is just strangely fun to watch once. It's not good and the 90 minutes it last feels a lot more like 3 hours. It does include one great scene:


That's right, Rawhead Rex baptises a priest with what sounds like scalding hot demon piss.

Edit: Keep in mind that I genuinely enjoyed all but one or two other films I've posted here, and I still think this is a horrible and not entertaining movie. This says a lot about the quality of entertainment Rawhead Rex provides.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 05 Dec 2012, 22:19
Evolver (1995):

Evolver was basically made for teenagers who got excited about the robot toy craze in the 90's. Evolver is a robot buddy that is, essentially, a Nerf bot that uses plastic rounds for little war games. Once you defeat it on a difficulty level, it evolves to have new capabilities. Apparently, Evolver really hates losing and starts modifying itself to become more difficult to beat, including replacing it's plastic rounds with steel ball bearings and increasing the power at which they are propelled. Of course they discover that this toy is actually a secret government military experiment. Gotta love the 90's.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 08 Dec 2012, 03:22
Xtro (1983):

Xtro is a British alien horror film that somehow manages to be silly and kind of horrifying at the same time. A young boy witnesses his father get taken by a UFO and it then fast forwards to 3 years later. His mother has a new man and the kid is having dreams. Then a monster appears and starts killing people and the child starts developing telekinetic powers! hooray! It's a good bit of ridiculous fun and it has one of the more memorable body horror scenes I've ever witnessed here:


It has two sequels which I haven't watched yet, but plan to do soon and post them here. You can watch the entire film here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaxmWiKgT_8).
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 08 Dec 2012, 05:43
Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1991):

Oh god why did I decide to watch this movie. I could have been doing or watching anything else, something like stabbing myself in the eyes with kitchen shears.

So, Xtro II isn't very good. It's incredibly bad actually, about on par with your average "made for SyFy" movie. It doesn't really have anything to do with the first film, but that can be forgiven with this kind of genre. Part of what makes it so horrible is that it's essentially "Aliens", but as made and acted by the least charismatic and creative individuals possible. A team of researchers have successfully made a device that can send humans through a portal to another dimension. They do so, communication drops and only one of them makes it back. This person soon has a alien baby burst forth from her chest and things die yadda yadda yadda. No one is likeable, the humor is terrible, the action is bad but not bad enough to be laughable, the logic in this movie somehow manages to be even worse than normal schlock and more importantly, it's just not fun to watch at all. Except for one line.

"We got enough C4 planted to take down the Twin Towers!"

I laughed at that. I felt bad afterwards.


The entire film can be seen here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AeYdzTGBQk)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 08 Dec 2012, 07:34
After I force myself to find and watch Xtro III. It can't possibly be worse than II.

Please don't let it be worse.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 09 Dec 2012, 04:37
Xtro 3: Watch the Skies (1995):

Ok, this one is bad, but I didn't hate myself afterward so it still beats Xtro II. A Marine and his band of misfit troops go to an old island that used to be used for government operations to clean things up so a refueling station can be built. Of course there is a murderous alien hanging around and people start dying. There are a lot of things that are bad about this movie including but not limited to the story, the special fx, the acting, the dialogue, the alien, the music, but my favorite is just how hard this movie tries to have a moral. It tries so very hard.


You can watch the full movie here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCdCJGq0Vs0)
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: de_la_Nae on 15 Dec 2012, 02:59
After watching that Xtro 3 video you posted, I can't help but feel I need to respond with a 'My brain is full of fuck!' image macro. :psyduck:
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: Blyss on 15 Dec 2012, 17:56
Helldriver (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1653913/)

There is a chainsaw samurai sword.  There is a zombie full of swords that uses its entire body in a swordfight against a truck with gigantic swords on the hood.  There is a multi-limbed zombie with automatic assault weapons.  There is a power-rangers style zord made entirely of zombie bodies, that the queen of the zombies then uses to grab two gigantic missiles and then it turns into a flying zombiezord. 

This movie is LSD laced insanity, and as soon as you finish watching it, you will want to scrub your brain to remove all trace.

That said, it was a hell of a lot of fun to watch.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: dps on 25 Dec 2012, 17:52
Dario Argento, the Italian director, is one of my absolutely favorite directors of all time. He has a real knack for what I consider to be "arthouse horror". Suspiria, Temembre, Inferno, Phenomena, Demons etc etc. All of it is great for various reason. One of the things that sets Argento out of the realm of other horror directors of his day was the fact that he didn't have a single male lead in his films that I can think of.

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (which is a very good, but very disburbing film) had a male lead, Tony Musante.

A bit of trivia:  Suzy Kendall, who played Musante's girlfriend, was at the time married to Dudley Moore. 



Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Dec 2012, 18:25
That's added to my watch list then. It isn't to say he always handled having a female lead well. The female lead in Demons was even more useless and damsel like than most typical horror films, and her reward for surviving the film thanks to her hunky romantic interest is turning into a demon and getting shot during the credits.  There were a lot of unfortunate things about that character was handled.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 19 May 2013, 13:48
Alright, I've watched a ridiculous number of films over the last 2 or 3 weeks and I think I'm going to try and get my motivation for this thread up yet again. This time I'm going to start off with...

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1973):

This one's a classic, though I'm not entirely sure that it's a particularly well known one. An acting troupe are brought to an island with a history of curses and demons, by their asshole director Alan. While there, he gets the gang to dig up a dead body and perform a ritual to raise the dead as a gag. After mocking Orville, the ceremonial body, for a large chunk of the film, the inevitable happens and everyone dies. It's humor regularly falls a bit flat, but the atmosphere is incredible and the entire time you're just waiting for Orville to chew Alan's face off for being a total shit heel. Well worth your time, if only to see Alan (who seems to be the 70's version of a hipster) get his come uppance.


Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 19 May 2013, 14:02
Sweet Home (1989):

This was released at the same time as the video game of the same name. The game is known for being the spiritual predecessor to Resident Evil/Alone in the Dark and they're both pretty great in their own right. The film follows a film crew wanting to explore the abandoned mansion of a famous painter to see if they can find his last fresco. In the process, they accidentally unleash the evil spirit of his wife, who haunts the home. Once the actual curse gets started, the film loses all of the friendly charm it had built up and turns nasty real quick. It has some fantastic special FX for the time and the design of the spirit is damned impressive. Well worth a watch. The following video is the most impressive death in the movie by far.


If you want to watch the whole thing, here's Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FZkXouk3r4).
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 20 May 2013, 16:23
Cronos (1993):

This movie is mainly being added here because despite it being part of of the Criterion Collection and being a del Toro film, I seem to have a hard time finding people who have actually seen it. The story begins with the tale of the Alchemist. In the 16th century he discovered the secret to immortality and built the Cronos device. 400 years later, the Alchemist dies and his estate is sold off. An antiques shop owner unknowingly comes into possession of the Cronos device and he discovers the terrible cost which youth and immortality comes. Being del Toro, it should come as no surprise that this is a great watch. It has his very clear ability to put his incredible imagination on screen with beautiful cinematography and a damn good tale of Vampirism. It manages to pull off his signature bitter sweet fairy tale story, but with a little more more hamminess (almost entirely from Ron Pearlman) than his following films. It's well worth the watch and a hell of a debut.

This here is the intro to the film, and the Tale of the Alchemist.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 22 May 2013, 18:04
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1970):

This film is considered part of a tiny genre of film called 'Folk Horror', a genre shared by two other fantasic films, The Wicker Man and Witchfinder General. These films are all about the amazing atmosphere and they are some of the best horror (some would argue best movies) ever made because of it.

In the case of Blood, it's about a village in 17th century England where a farm hand plows up a strange looking body. the body disappears before he can get anyone else to confirm his finding and shortly after, people start going mad, a satanic cult starts up and people start getting sacrificed. It's a bit of a slow burn, but it's well worth the effort.


The video has some artifacting. The file I made it from has a few spots with this kind of damage.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 23 May 2013, 15:18
Witchfinder General (1968):

This film stars Vincent Price in a not all that historically accurate portrayal of historical figure Matthew Hopkins (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Hopkins), a rather nasty piece of work from the 17th century who is estimated to have been responsible for about 40% of all witch executions in England's history during his short and rather violent 1 year career. The film is a fantastic piece of work and made all the more chilling and atmospheric due to Price not using his usual wit, dark humor and charm, and instead playing the role completely straight. I highly recommend checking it out.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: BeoPuppy on 24 May 2013, 01:07
Those Vincent Price movies were on endless repeat when I was, like, young, and stuff. And he did some awesome stuff. I really like him in the E.A.Poe adaptations. Mask of the Red Death is just ... awesome.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 24 May 2013, 09:43
My favorite of the Poe adaptations was The Raven. So much wonderful cheese.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: BeoPuppy on 24 May 2013, 10:08
That was soooo over the top. So good. Someone was having so much fun.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 24 May 2013, 10:52
I would also like to mention that Witchfinder General has directly influenced an absurd amount of Black and Doom Metal.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 29 May 2013, 14:50
I've been finding and going into a lot of newer horror films blind these last few days, and it's come to some pretty mixed results as I'm sure you can imagine. There have been some piss terrible ones and there are some that I can't quite figure out if I like or not. But, I've also found some that have surprised the hell out of me.

Cell Count (2012):

This one is very different from most of the horror I've shared here. This one is more of a slow burn, more akin to David Cronenberg than anything else. It's a sci-fi horror tale about a world that's been plagued by a rampant disease that's never named, but sounds an awful lot like Cancer or possibly AIDS. You can likely think of it however you like, all you need to know is that it's a guaranteed death sentence and there seems to be no treatment available for it. A Dr. however seems to have found a cure and is looking for human test subjects. The patients are quarantined, but have pretty free reign to explore as they wish and they discover some rather horrendous things about the research and the cure they've been given.

I can't quite decide if I think is merely ok or actually pretty decent. It's got several moments of pretty bad acting, mediocre line delivery and a kind of meh ending, but the actual premise and the echos of Cronenberg (though nowhere near as good) that I think it's noteworthy. It also manages to keep itself in check with the gore, using it only when it will accentuate the horror (or in one case, where it's just plain hilarious) of the events rather than going for plain ol' gore horror. I would say it's worth checking out if you are up for a bit of a slow burn.


Edit: baaaaah, apparently studios pay attention to uploads for movies that are fairly recent. May find another host if it gets taken down.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 30 May 2013, 09:50
Inside (2007):

So apparently France has been having a bit of a new wave horror thing going on and I'm just finding out about it. Inside is about the night Sarah, a young widowed pregnant woman, is terrified by a mysterious and crazed woman who wants to take her unborn child. It's pretty big on the gore and terribly painful looking things happening to everyone that dares enter the house, but it's so much more than that, assuming you can stomach it. The directors, Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury, have one other film called Livid which is what I'll be sharing next.

Youtube is being all 'Oh noooooo, you might have stolen this a bloo bloo bloo', so Vimeo it is. No one checks Vimeo apparently. Also the film is in French and I use external Subtitles, so I opted for one of the best non dialogue scenes possible. I could subtitle, but I'm not willing to put that much effort in for you schmucks.

https://vimeo.com/67255151
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 31 May 2013, 11:51
Livid (2012):

Oh man this movie. It's by the same pair of directors that did Inside, but it's quite different. Rather than putting so much focus on the gore and physical horrors of Inside, they instead decided on a more fantastical take here. A young lower class woman who is training to be a in home nurse, hears rumors about a treasure hidden in the mansion of an ancient catatonic woman. Her friends convince her to help them break in and see if they can find it so that they van get themselves out of their miserable place in society. Once they're inside, strange and terrible things start happening. The movie is just plain wonderful, even the bizarre and not really making a whole lot of sense ending. It's artsy, creepy, fantastical and I loved it so much. I highly recommend it.

https://vimeo.com/67255152
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 31 May 2013, 12:39
Currently watching the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.
I've loved this film ever since I was a kid and suffering from an extremely bad case of the flu. The film is loosley based on the short story "The Fog Horn" by Ray Bradbury, about a lighthouse and its keepers and having to rebuild the lighthouse after its been destroyed by a large creature (turns out the fog horn sounds similar to the creature). What makes the film unique is that its one of the first films that helped influence and kick start the creature features of the 50s.

What's the film about? Well the US military test a nuclear device in the Arctic circle, which in turn defrosts and revives a large predatory prehistoric reptile. The Beast makes its way down the East Coast where it attacks, where else, but New York. Though the army manages to severely injures the beast easily enough, there is the added danger of the creature's blood carrying a virulent germ that could prove apocalyptic if any more of the beast's blood is spilled.

Ultimately, the film is incredibly important to the monster movie genre, touching upon the growing concerns and fears that people were having about nuclear weapons, indeed The Beast was the first such film where a nuclear device woke a creature and it attacked a city. This in turn would help influence the production of THEM! and the following year's film, the most recognised nuclear monster, Godzilla.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 02 Jun 2013, 13:23
Yesssss, someone else has posted yet again! I'm especially fond of the fact that it's one of the old 50's monster flicks, since it's not a genre I'm especially well versed in. But, now I must post about...

Madhouse (1974):

Oh my god this movie is fun and it's actually the first time I've seen this film. Yet another Vincent Price film (also Peter Cushing), in this one he is an actor who plays the character of Dr. Death. At the premier of the 5th installment in the franchise, his fiance is murdered. The movie moves forward 12 years where we learn he was suspected (even by himself) but acquitted of her death and was put into a mental hospital for several years to deal with his depression and fear of the persona of Dr. Death. When he gets out, his life long friend and the writer who created Dr. Death (played by Peter Cushing) convinces him to star in a TV series for Dr. Death. People start dying and we get to see Price do a wonderfully fun descent into madness as he is afraid that he himself is merging with the Dr. Death persona and committing these horrendous acts. It's so incredibly fun and ends on what is possibly the best dialogue possible.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 04 Jun 2013, 18:46
Alright, this time I've actually got a pretty bad movie to show rather than really good schlock and dark humor.

Book of Shadows: The Blair Witch Project 2 (2000):

This movie is the very definition of a cynical attempt at making money off of an established fanbase. The movie is suppose to be base in the 'real world' where the original Blair Witch was released. The town the movie was filmed in is now a big tourist attraction and as anyone in a major tourist city knows, everyone fucking hates tourists. It follows a tour group that ends up having a group black out one night while camping (an ddrinking heavily) in the woods where the movie was filmed. Their stuff is trashed and they head back to the tour guide's 'house' so everyone can recoup and shit starts happening. It actually ends up with a pretty fun ending, but it's only because the rest of the movie is so dumb that the ending feels like it's punching wayyyyyy higher than it really should be.

Now, this isn't to say the movie isn't fun to watch. It is fun as long as your expectations are low and it has some fun ideas, but it's not bad enough to be great.


Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 05 Jun 2013, 16:17
Sinister (2012):

So far, I'm really liking Ethan Hawke's horror career. Insidious wasn't really anything more than OK, but The Purge is looking good and Sinister was just a hair away from being an amazing film. That hair difference makes a big difference though.

So Hawke plays a 'True Crime' author who is investigating murders that occurred in the house his family just moved into. While unpacking, he finds an 8mm projector and multiple films. He watches them and they're recordings of the murders of entire familys by an unknown person. As per usual, strange things start happening and it's discovered that these murders are caused by a long forgotten blood god named Bughuul. It has fantastic atmosphere, the horror anthology feel of the home movies is fucking amazing and overall the movie does incredibly well at what it's trying to do... until the ending. The ending is okay at best and they pulled a ridiculously cheap jump scare to top it off. The movie is still great, but it was just so very close to being amazing. It's well worth your time.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 06 Jun 2013, 19:20
Rabid (1977):

David Cronenberg! Yaaaaaay! As anyone who pays attention to his work knows, a good chunk of the first half of Cronenberg's film career was exploring society's fears of infection as well as sex. This was his second feature length film and it's a pretty damn good, as well as being a good continuation of exploring these themes.

A young woman played by Marilyn Chambers (you might recognize the name from the porn industry) who is in a terrible motorcycle accident. The crash occurs near a plastic surgery center where an emergency surgery is done to keep her alive. The great thing about the scene where the surgeon is explaining the procedure, he is basically explaining that they'll be using stem cells. But anyways, the surgery is a success and she wakes up a month later, but some of the skin grafts that were done have becomes something very different, and she now requires human blood to survive. The people she feeds off of usually survive with no problem, but become infected with a disease that resembles rabies and pass the infection along vie bodily fluids such as saliva.

That's right, Cronenberg successfully managed to make a film that is simultaneously a horror film about Contagions, Science Gone Wrong, Vampires and Zombies!

While it's certainly not the best film Cronenberg has made, it's still a good schlocky movie (like so many of his other films) and I recommend it to seeing how his interpretations of these fears continued to evolve.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 07 Jun 2013, 22:52
I've been going back and forth between Dario Argento and David Cronenberg, so there may be a glut of them in the coming days.

The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (1970):

Dario Argento's debut film is not really what I'd call horror, it's more of a crime thriller, but it's a good movie and you can definitely see the early roots of his horror career. He was already quite adept at building up the suspense to palpable levels and having a totally batshit ending. I mean, the explanation at the end of the film as to what had occurred was really a lot funnier than it should have been. It's entirely possible that it's due more to the quality of subtitles that are available for the movie, but I couldn't help but laugh. Wonderful watch all around though.

The story is about an American author who has been in Italy for a couple of years trying to break through a bad case of writer's block. He witnesses an attempted murder and gets sucked into the investigation. He becomes obsessed with figuring out what happened and the attempts on his life, and the life of his loved ones, only steel his resolve to catch the murderer. The ending is wonderfully ridiculous.


Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 09 Jun 2013, 04:38
House on Haunted Hill (1959):

So this is probably one of Vincent Price's most famous films and it's for good reason. The atmosphere is wonderful and the interaction between all of the characters is just great, particularly between Frederick (Price) and his wife Annabelle (Carol Ohmart). Frederick and Annabelle have a party at the house on Haunted Hill, offering $10k to each guest if they stay the full night and survive. Of course the house has a nasty history and frightening things begin to happen. Now, the plot is similar to the book (I highly recommend the book by the way) in that most of the events are being created by the gracious host, Frederick. It differs quite a bit near the end, but that's fine. It works out to be a great watch and even the old dated special FX feel right when you realize what's going on.

But oh man, the first scene with Frederick and Annabelle. You see two terrible and bitter people speaking and you can feel the disdain they have for one another. The tension between them is so thick, you couldn't cut that shit with a power saw. It is an absolutely amazing scene. Just, oh man just watch it.


And now for a slightly sillier scene with a bad mannequin.


As I said before, the obvious mannequin like nature when she's leaving that room is just perfect once you know what's goin on and I like to think it was quite on purpose.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 09 Jun 2013, 12:23
Rabid was the first David Cronenberg film I saw. And while I'm not a fan of his work, Rabid is one of those films I can enjoy watching late at night. Just the right side of disturbing without being sickening.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 09 Jun 2013, 15:44
You might might enjoy his son's film, Antiviral. He apparently shares his fathers fascination with infection, but he takes it in a completely different direction. Instead of working off of our fears of infection and sex, he equates sharing of infection as a form of intimacy and explores our obsession with celebrity culture through it.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 12 Jun 2013, 07:50
Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989):

Talk about a niche of a niche. Tetsuo is a low budget Surrealist Cyberpunk Horror film by Director Shinya Tsukamoto. It's kind of like if David Lynch and David Cronenberg took a lot of acid and had a love child. There's very little dialogue in the movie and in fact, not a single character is ever actually named. The story follows a businessman and his wife who accidentally run over and kill a character referred to as 'The Metal Fetashist'. Shortly afterwards, the businessman begins to start sprouting metal from his skin and begins a horrible transformation. Tsukamoto utilizes some interesting camera work and almost overpowering music for the atmosphere of his film and I think it turns out wonderfully. It's also kind of impossible to talk about this film without mentioning the scene where a woman is fucked to death with a Drill Penis. Or the dream where the businessman is anally raped by a woman with a prehensile drill penis. There's... there's a lot of phallic and sexual symbolism in this movie.

It also features what I consider to be one of the most frightening on-foot chase scenes ever filmed.


It has two sequels called Tetsuo: The Body Hammer and Tetsuo: The Bullet Man which I'll be getting to at a later date. They're not direct sequels, but simply share similar narrative themes and visual aesthetics.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 13 Jun 2013, 05:04
House (1977):

Directed by Nobuhiko Ôbayashi, this is a very very strange film. It's a pretty basic japanese Vengeful Ghost story that is just so incredibly bizarre, goofy and fun that it's practically impossible to be scared by it. It's creative, ridiculous, experimental and just... I mean what else am I supposed to say about a movie that has characters with names like Gorgeous (she's pretty), Kung-Fu (she knows kung-fu) and Melody (Yes, she's good with music) and scenes where someone is attacked by feather pillows and mattresses, eaten by a piano, or sexually assaulted by a floating head. The Special FX are ridiculous and cartoonish, the acting is wonderfully ridiculous and there's just a lot to love here. If nothing else, you just really need to experience this movie.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 16 Jun 2013, 13:16
Antiviral (2009):

David Cronenberg's son, Brandon Cronenberg directs this entry. Much like his father, Brandon has a fascination with the concept of infections. The direction he takes this is equally disturbing, but very very different though. Rather than going into our fears of infection and sexuality, he instead decides to look at the sharing of contagions as a form of intimacy (almost sexual in nature) and uses it to examine our relationship with celebrity culture, up to and including whether or not celebrities are people. It focuses a lot on body horror, but rather than the gore and metamorphosis that BH tends to lean towards, it instead focuses on the disgust and dread that the society itself invokes in the viewer when you see someone purposefully inject themselves with Herpes, or the flu, or even life threatening illnesses in order to add some kind of meaning to their lives through the shared intimacy of infection these people they idolize, who are seen as something more (and less) than human, have had. It's beautifully shot and kind of follows the narrative styles of a Noir film. I highly recommend it.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 20 Jun 2013, 14:45
I'd hate to be a boar, but the next films I'll be talking about will be more than a little hammy.

Alright, sorry about the puns, but I'm going to be talking about pig films; in particular Razorback (1984) and Chaw (2009). Chaw will get its own post in a few moments.

Razorback is an odd beast (and I'm not talking about the pig being the size of a van). Directed by Russell Mulcahy (who directed Highlander and Highlander 2) and based upon Peter Brennan's 1982 novel, Razorback was made during the world's brief love affair with Australian cinema in the 1980s. The film begins with a young boy living with his grandfather in the Australian Outback, where one night, the Razorback attacks the grandfather's house and kills the boy (considering that the Azaria Chamberlain was still fresh in peoples' minds at the time, this sets up the grandfather as an ignored and distrusted figure for the first half of the film). The film cuts to two years later when an American photojournalist is investigating claims that Outback animals are being used for canned pet food. She's promptly discovered by two local nutcases, who are behind the con and left to die in the Outback.

Which finally brings us to the hero of the film, the journalist's husband, who comes to Australia and find his wife. The film leads to a dramatic climax in the cannery against the nutcases and the razorback.

Considering that Mulcahy was at the time a premier music video director, the film often feels disjointed and a little out of place at times. The film itself can be enjoyable (particularly if you play "Spot Who Was in a Mad Max film" and take a shot). Its not a film to take too seriously though, so watch it and decide for yourself.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 20 Jun 2013, 15:06
Next up is Chaw (apparently pronounced "Chow" in Chungcheong). A South Korean horror film, Chaw can best be summed up as Jaws...on a mountain...in South Korea...with a giant boar instead of a shark....
Seriously, that's the film.

Well, not quite.

Rather than relying on the usual body horror we associated with Korean horror, Chaw is actually a mix of black comedy, horror, adventure and at times more than willing to take the piss out the monster film genre. Its also one of those films you need to watch at least twice to make sense of it unfortunately.

A town that's been crime free for several years suddenly starts developing a problem with dead bodies popping up, all seemingly killed by a large boar. Naturally, this is a problem with the obligatory town festival just around the corner. The heroes are a trio of men, two police officers and the grandfather of one of the victims (I'm sensing a pattern here...) who are trying to investigate what has been happening and having to deal with several of the eccentric locals (I mean like Hot Fuzz eccentricity...without the murdering of course...). For one of the officers, a young man, this is especially difficult with a heavily pregnant wife and a mother who is possibly suffering from dementia and prone to acts of comedic violence.

Throw in a biologist and a hunter planning on where to put the boar's head and a false sense of security after killing a large boar and you have Chaw. And a pig-baby dream sequence (like I said, the film is somewhat random at times).

I will be the first to admit that Chaw can be a difficult film to understand at times and it leaves you wondering what the film really wanted to do with itself, hence the need to watch it again to try and get some semblance of sanity.

As strange as Chaw might be at times, like many things, it deserves a chance and for people to make their own decisions about it.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 20 Jun 2013, 18:59
Wild Boars are frightening enough without turning them into house sized monstrosities damn it.

Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979):

So when Dawn of the Dead was released in Europe it was called Zombi. It did very well and so Italian director Lucio Fulci decided to rename a script he had finished a couple of years earlier to ride on it's coat tails in a bit of a cynical cash grab. Zombie 2 (aka Zombie flesh Eaters, aka Zombie) was released and made it's money back quite quickly, though it ended up tarnishing it's long term reputation, which is really unfortunate due to the fact this is actually a rather good zombie film that sets itself apart quite well from Romero's setting.

An empty boat shows up at a New York pier, and when a pair of policemen show up to investigate, one is killed by the lone and now undead passenger. A journalist who happens to be the daughter of the owner of the boat, wants to find out what happened to her father. A detective decides to help her whether she wants it or not and they venture off to Matul Island, where they find a Western Dr. trying his hardest to cure what seems to be a zombie plague that is beginning to grow out of control. I'm guessing you know what happens from here.

So, the most obvious thing that differentiates this film from popular zombie media of the time is that it's in a tropical setting and  the zombie plague is due to a voodoo curse. This does a good job of pulling more from the pre-Romero era of zombie films and managed to influence future zombie films quite a bit in it's own way. Really low budget, lots of gore and some makeup work that manages to be both amateurish and fantastic at the same time. It's also got a bit exploitation film in it and I think it's worth a watch. The catch being, of course, that it ends up with a finale that involves a few white folk killing a horde of dark skinned zombies.




Edit: Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention one of the more famous scenes! At one point a zombie attacks a woman underwater. Well, she gets away so it tries to eat a goddamn shark.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 21 Jun 2013, 15:43
Feast (2005):

So the story begins in a bar that is clearly in the middle of nowhere, with a lot of sad sorry people are just looking to drink their boring lives away, when suddenly The Hero shows up with a severed monster's head. The monsters terrorize the bar patrons and the movie manages to use, and not so subtle razzberries at, an impressive number of horror tropes in it's Celebrity Roast like take on the horror genre. What's really impressive is it manages to not overstay it's welcome. Characters don't have names, they have titles such as 'Hero', 'Heroine', 'Bozo', 'Boss Man' and Jason Mewes (the only named character, played by himself of course) along with a list of traits that include Life Expentancy and Occupation (such as kicking ass) and it manages to not out stay it's welcome. It's funny, gory and it's just a smashing good time. Also Henry Rollins is in the movie and a monster gets it's dick cut off.



There are two sequels which are not as good, but both worth a watch if you are into the right kind of terrible movie. 2 is the weakest of them, but combined they're good bit of surrealist fun. I warn you though that the sequels can seem like just a long string of childish rape jokes at times. I may cover them both later.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 21 Jun 2013, 16:48
Another two-fer, this time with a distinctly reptilian feel to them.

First up, 2004's Dinocroc

Dumbass scientists (is there any other kind in these films?) decide it'd be a great idea to create a hybrid creature from a crocodile and a dinosaur. Said hybrid escapes and chomps on a bunch of idiots. Really, there isn't a whole lot you can say about this film, I've just summed up the plot in two sentences. The only things that stand out about the film is that Roger Corman produced the film, but more than likely, he just signed the dotted line. The other thing is that the annoying younger brother in Lizzie Mcguire gets killed by the creature.

Honestly, its one of those films that every second you watch it makes you wonder why the hell you're watching it. The last time I watched it, I had probably finished a good chunk of a bottle of whiskey, so that should give you an idea of how to watch it.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 21 Jun 2013, 17:04
My next film would be 1999's Komodo.

The name might no be familiar, but it does feature some memorable stars, such as Jill Hennessy, Billy Burke and Kevin Zegers.

The film begins in the late 70s on an island off South Carolina, where some dipstick thinks it'd be a great idea to dump some Komodo dragon eggs on the island and drives off. Skipping ahead 20 years, the island has become a shadow of its former self due to the destructive practises of a local oil company. A family arrive at the island for their vacation - mom, dad, teenage son and their little dog. While the son goes out to explore the island, his parents are attacked and killed by the Komodos, now desperately hungry due to the lack of animals on the island. Even the dog gets eaten.

The film cuts to sometime later, where the son is still suffering from the trauma of what happened. His grandmother and aunt bring in a renowned therapist (Hennessy) to try and help him. Her suggestion? Bring the kid to the island where his parents were killed. Naturally the aunt is against this and demands to come along. Add to this two men are charged with hunting and killing the Komodos are trying to keep people off the island.  Within 30 minutes you've pretty much guessed who is going to get chomped.

Despite the cliches, the film isn't that bad and definitely worth a watch.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 21 Jun 2013, 17:10
Is it wrong that I actually laughed out loud when the Komodo trailer proudly displayed 'From the writers of Anaconda'?
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: TheEvilDog on 21 Jun 2013, 17:25
Is it wrong that I actually laughed out loud when the Komodo trailer proudly displayed 'From the writers of Anaconda'?

No, no. Its probably the best way to deal with this type of film.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 21 Jun 2013, 17:29
Currently trying to decide which film I should do next. I feel like I'm putting way too many high quality films in here lately.*

* - Says the guy who recently posted a film called Zombie Flesh Eaters.
Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 23 Jun 2013, 15:51
Just Before Dawn (1981):

Just Before Dawn is not what I'd call a terribly impressive movie, but how can you go wrong with murderous inbred hillbillies and stupid pretty people? Said stupid pretty people come to scope out the mountain land that one of them owns and as things go in these movies, they start dying. It's kind of a mixture of Deliverance and The Hills Have Eyes, but without the directorial talent of Wes Craven or the acting talent of Deliverance's cast. It has one great thing going for it and that is the finale, when the female lead kills a rather large Hillbilly by shoving her fistdown his throat . It's pretty damn brutal.

Almost as brutal as a scene with some very white people dancing.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 24 Jun 2013, 12:24
April Fool's Day (1986):

In the 80's there was a trend of naming and/or basing your horror film on a holiday. Friday the 13th, Halloween (technically 70's, I know), Mother's Day and so on. They were usually terrible as I'm sure you can imagine, with a few stand out gems of schlock. This is one of the gems. Also Biff is in it!

A bunch of obnoxious, rich, white college graduates go to the home that one of them has just inherited from some rich relative or another, to celebrate their graduation. Of course this is all happening around April Fool's Day and the pranks start early. They all start finding some rather 'interesting' things in the house left over from the previous residents and after the first night, the pranks seem to turn deadly, with people disappearing or turning up dead at a pretty swift pace. It has some impressively terrible dialogue and everything else you could love about 80's horror movies. It's not the best bit of schlock out there, not everything can be Night of the Lepus or Re-Animator after all, but it's definitely in the category of good schlock.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 25 Jun 2013, 18:09
Black Sunday (1960):

Black Sunday (aka The Mask of Satan) is a wonderful bit of Italian horror history starring Barbara Steele (she is also in Shivers) with her super creepy and sexy eyes. She is a witch/vampire/devil worshiper who is put to death during an Inquisition. Before she dies, she places a curse on the family of her killer and 200 years later, she is awakened to exact her revenge. It's great fun throughout.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 27 Jun 2013, 18:38
Audition (1999):

Anyone familiar with Takashi Miike's filmography is aware that he is very very good at making movies that are incredibly uncomfortable to watch. Audition is no exception to this. Miike loves his revenge films and he especially loves to frame them as a form of karmic backlash. In many cases not just against the person who did the deed, but those they love and innocents who had nothing to do with it. Their actions and decisions are not made in a vacuum and the films are pretty brutal about reminding you of this. Revenge is an ugly and terrible thing, regularly just as bad or even worse than the original sin and he does not shy away from it. Terrible people do terrible things, and people who were previously 'normal' become terrible, even if only for a short time. There are no heroes in Takashi Miike's films.

The story is about a widower named Ryo who has realized that he's lonely and wants to re-marry. He confides in a friend of his who is a movie producer and is convinced to use the auditions for a film that may get funded to search for a new wife. Ryo's friend is sleazy, and the movie makes no bones about this. He is also well aware that what he's agreed to do is, at best, morally questionable, but he gives into temptation and does so anyway. He becomes enamored with one of the actresses, Eihi, and they start to see each other. One day, she disappears and he begins to look for her. The problem is that all of her contacts, jobs etc. all lead to dead ends. They either never existed, have died in some horrible manner or are missing. She comes back one day and I imagine it's a really tough thing to watch for most people.

The last 12 minutes or so of the movie are why people regularly label this film as Torture Porn and I have a hard time arguing with it. But Miike doesn't deal with it like some films such as Hostel does. Rather than focusing on what she's doing to him (It's not terrible gory, though he does do that just enough to make you squirm), it instead focuses on Eihi and her very obvious sadism. Every time she does something to him you can tell she loves it, and that's far more disturbing than any typical gory torture scene.

Title: Re: Schlocky Horror Picture Show
Post by: ackblom12 on 30 Jun 2013, 20:25
The Woman (2011):

Directed by Lucky McKee, The Woman is a movie about a middle class white man who discovers a Wild Woman while hunting and decides to 'civilize' her. I'm sure that you can make some guesses as to what his methods are. The longer the film goes on, the more disturbing the story gets in. This movie has a lot to say about patriarchy, misogyny, rape culture, domestic abuse, as well as those that stand by and let all this happen. What's really surprising is it manages to do it pretty damn well in a borderline gore hound package. If you think you can stomach the gore that eventually comes up, I would definitely suggest checking it out.