THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: iduguphergrave on 23 Dec 2012, 10:27
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Merry Christmahannakwanzaakah everyone! While we've got some downtime comic-wise, enjoy a special QC Caption Game! I'm gonna try to do five (5) panels this week, so lets get this party started! FIRST IMAGE:
(http://i.imgur.com/fZDOr.png) (http://imgur.com/fZDOr)
WERE MAKIN IT HAPPEN
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Hanners: Awww, what a cute kitten.
Marigold: Cut it out, Dale!
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Hanners: Aaaah! Tapir!
Marigold: On it. Missiles away!
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HANNERS: They're shipping us again!
MARIGOLD: Enough of this. PonyLeaks is going DOWN for the last time.
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Hannelore: Is that what I think it is?
Marigold: Sorry, I keep a picture of Francis's penis on my desktop for... reasons...
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HANNELORE: That goatse thing is the worst!
MARIGOLD: Nah, we can top that. Do you see an empty cup lying around?
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Hannelore: Is that what I think it is?
Marigold: Sorry, I keep a picture of Francis's penis on my desktop for... reasons...
Hannelore: hmmm... do you think you could do the same for Station?
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Hanners: Whoa, why did you guys just teleport to a black and white graveyard?
Marigold: Erh, it means we won...
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Hannelore : Ooooh, I haven't read that thread yet, open it!
Marigold : No chance, have you seen the thread author, it'll be punpocalypse central.
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Hannelore: "Why is there a picture of us-"
Marigold: "That'll be Pintsize." *Switches to Skype chat* "Francis, I'm sending you some co-ordinates. Laser that little Photoshop f***er."
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Hannelore: "Betcha your Fart of Sulphur would work against those Bloodhounds."
Marigold: "Hannelore, you're not helping."
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Hanners: "Is that what I think it is?"
Mar-Bear: "Yes, our husbands would like us to come downstairs after we finish "wrapping the kids' presents. Right after we finish this raid."
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Hannelore: So, her name's "Harriet", huh.
Marigold: God damn it, I had 50 bucks on "Corsetto".
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Hannelore: Omigod that's Angus and Faye having se-
Marigold: Sorry 'bout that, I accidentally left the AngusCam on.
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HANNERS: "Seriously? You hacked into ... wait, why are you switching US to the naughty list?"
MARIGOLD: "We'll get better presents that way."
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Da HeadCannon has spoken. Next.
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Hanners: "Oh my god! Is that Mrs Claus with Tai??!"
Marigold: "Whoops, sorry about that." *Switches Website*
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Wow.
NEW IMAGE:
(http://i.imgur.com/nsVC1.png) (http://imgur.com/nsVC1)
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COMRADE FAYSKI: In SOVIET Union beans grind YOU!
MARTIN: *sigh* This is why I hid the damn thing to begin with. Cue another 24 hours of 1980s-vintage cold-war callback jokes.
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MARTEN: What does it say about us that we sit here wearing silly hats?
FAYE: What does it say about us that Hanners has the most sensible hat?
HANNERS (thinking) the hats...yesssss
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Faye: "Why are you wearing that hoody indoors?"
Marten: "Uh -- I like the smell of French Fries."
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MARTEN: "Ushanka?"
FAYE: "You're welcome."
OR
MARTEN: "Ushanka?"
FAYE: "Gesundheit."
In Soviet Russia, puns groan at YOU!
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Marten: "Faye, you wouldn't know whether your ushanka is rabbit or muskrat fur?"
Faye: "Muskrat muskrat muskrat."
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MARTEN: "You know, as good as you are at giving haircuts, you shouldn't try to do your own; that looks like one of those Russian fur hats. And how come it smells like apple pie?"
FAYE: "I'm going to have Dora try to fix it at the shop this morning."
HANNERS (thinking): "Time to call in sick."
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FAYE: Hey Marten, you look like a magician in that hat!
MARTEN: I'm not Marten, I'm the Great Hoodini.
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Woop sorry bout the delay; Third panel away!
(http://i.imgur.com/YzaSL.png) (http://imgur.com/YzaSL)
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Pintsize: Hello, kitty, nice kitty.
Cat (thinking): I could pee on that.
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PINTSIZE: Don't be absurd! EVERYONE looks at porn!
CAT(thinking): doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
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Pintsize: "Hi there. What's your cup of tea? Furry or horse pron? I've got both."
Cat (thinking): "Apparently the latest recruit to my staff. No clue what he's talking about. Sounds like the rookie needs to learn who he's working for."
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Cat: Oooh, a new scratching post...
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^ Less is more.
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PINTSIZE: Oh look, a new plaything!
CAT: Oh look, a new plaything!
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Pintsize: "Welcome to the neighborhood! Some of my best friends are cats! I really admire you people's music!"
Cat: backs away slowly.
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PINTSIZE: "I used to be one of those things in the ThinkGeek catalog for people who were too lazy to tease cats with a laser pointer themselves, but the ex-Goth chick and the G-man took my laser."
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Pintsize: Want some kitty porn?
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PINTSIZE: Oh look, RoboKitty!
MIEVILLE: Purrr... (translation: Prepare to die a horrible death, puny metal fiend!)
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Finally; I was starting to think everyone had forgotten the cats name :-P
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Naah, I just can't ever remember how to spell it.
And I thought it was Melville for about a week...
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Like a cat gives a **** what a human names it.
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Did someone install a dirty word filter here?
Fuck, shit, damn, piss, cock, cunt
*edit* just checking.
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Did you forget a few, or is there an actual filter installed?
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I was just trying the four-letter ones. If any were blocked, surely one of those would be.
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Slut? I'm just trying to think of more four-letter words but I think you nailed all of em, dangit.
Anyhoo...FOURTH PANEL! Delving back a little deeper now...
(http://i.imgur.com/vRbZv.png) (http://imgur.com/vRbZv)
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How did I forget slut?
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MARTEN: You okay?
DORA: So...cold...
MOMO: Stop crushing me, Dora! The plushie/hot-water-bottle is over there!
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Did someone install a dirty word filter here?
####, ####, ####, ####, ####, ####
*edit* just checking.
I don't know what the #### you're talking about. Besides, this isn't the WCDT.
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MARTEN: What's wrong?
DORA: She's choking! Needs the Heimlich!
MOMO: While I am honored that you are trying to help me, you should be pushing a little lower and .... HORRRRRRRRRK ... thank you.
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Marten: "Yeah, Pintsize does that to people".
Dora: "I didn't even know I was pregnant!"
Momo: "Greetings. All that is needed to make me comfortable is full civil rights and a small glass of champagne, please"
or
Momo: "Be grateful I wasn't in the Idoru Platinum Deluxe chassis."
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Did you forget a few, or is there an actual filter installed?
There are no word filters here at present, except for the name of one download site. We prefer to rely on a combination of sense and moderation.
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Gotcha. Irony is harder to convey via forum than I thought.
MARTEN: That's it, Pintsize, into the fridge you go.
DORA: Again? What did he do now?
MOMO: He took pictures underneath my skirt and posted them on the web, with my full name and IP address. Now half the internet is sending me virus-infected furry porn.
EDIT: IDUHG, from which comic did you take this panel?
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EDIT: IDUHG, from which comic did you take this panel?
1412. (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1412)
And its additional desktop. (http://www.questionablecontent.net/random/kawaiibg.png)
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MARTEN: "Let's go. Get ready to jump."
DORA: "I don't wanna dieeeeeeeeeeee ..."
MOMO: "Do not worry. In event of a water landing or a really lame Caption Contest entry like this one, I may be used as a flotation device. You are screwed, though, Marten."
Also, #### or ****? One of us needs to work on his spelling.
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Reminds me of the rule against using the word FLICK in the older comic books - the ones on cheap paper with ink that bled...
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(http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/6822/megaflicksqf0.jpg)
Indeed.
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That flickin' kerning will get you every time.
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Back in the days when people bought records, the Milwaukee paper used to run a top-ten chart labeled "MILWAUKEE'S HIT PARADE." Then they got a new computer programmed to block out naughty words.
The chart started appearing as "MILWAUKEE HIT PARADE."
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It has to be the most common typo in the print communications industry, but for me the funniest example was when our local congressman sent a press release expressing his hope Congress could "put (the current Washington tempest-in-a-toilet bowl) behind us and get on with the pubic business."
But my paper's first spellcheck program, unfamiliar with the word "jacuzzi," automatically corrected a news brief to say the local chapter of Catholic Adult Singles was planning a "Swim and Jackass Party." Yes, the editor (ironically, she was our most fastidious proofreader) had assumed "search and replace" would do its job the way she thought it should be done.
And before I come off as too self-righteous, all of my howlers were of the type that couldn't be blamed on the technology. Fortunately, I had the ideal backup: A composing-room crew consisting of ladies with dirty minds.
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Back in the days when people bought records, the Milwaukee paper used to run a top-ten chart labeled "MILWAUKEE'S HIT PARADE." Then they got a new computer programmed to block out naughty words.
The chart started appearing as "MILWAUKEE HIT PARADE."
The Journal or the Sentinel?
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Back in the days when people bought records, the Milwaukee paper used to run a top-ten chart labeled "MILWAUKEE'S HIT PARADE." Then they got a new computer programmed to block out naughty words.
The chart started appearing as "MILWAUKEE HIT PARADE."
I believe that's known as Scunthorpe Syndrome. IIRC, AOL prevented citizens of that particular place from registering.
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It gets worse online...
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lezfztj8zZ1qz4webo1_500.jpg)
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And as of 12-29, the third headline on "whorepresents.com" is "The Best Bang for the Buck."
It's about movies.
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lollin'
I hate to derail the derailment but LAST PANEL:
(http://i.imgur.com/vvKLN.png) (http://imgur.com/vvKLN)
(her name's Tortura if you don't remember. I only mention that cause it's been awhile)
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Steve: "Say it ain't so, Tortura. Say it ain't so!"
Tortura: "Steve, I'm so sorry. But you are a grown man now. And it's time that you learn the truth about Bambi's mother."
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STEVE: "But, Tortura Borisovna, why can you not stay?"
TORTURA: "I must be returning, my darlink Stevnik, to Pottsylvania to be caring for mother and father! They grow confused with aging and speak of nothing but moose and squirrel!"
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STEVE: Oh Tortura, how can I prove my love to you?
TORTURA: Bring me some exquisite food, and I might receive your love. The body of Sven, my worthless excuse of an ex-boyfriend, will do nicely. Sliced thin and roasted on a barbecue.
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Steve: But... but...
Tatyana Spencer: I told you before, I do NOT want you to participate in that Behind The Scenes special. I have seen what Jeph plans to do with that Corsetto lady.
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STEVE: "But, Tortura Borisovna, why can you not stay?"
TORTURA: "I must be returning, my darlink Stevnik, to Pottsylvania to be caring for mother and father! They grow confused with aging and speak of nothing but moose and squirrel!"
Too awesome to not be canon now.
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Steve: But... but...
Tatyana Spencer: I told you before, I do NOT want you to participate in that Behind The Scenes special. I have seen what Jeph plans to do with that Corsetto lady.
Maaann, we should really bring that thread back to life, it was amazing :D
Steve: So, we made it back to America. Do I get a Lektor Encoder now or something?
Tortura: I really shouldn't, but I suppose if it makes you feel a bit more like James Bond...
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Steve: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
Tortura: But, Steven, no, I... I...
Steve: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?
Captain Renault (off camera): I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
Tortura: You're saying this only to make me go.
Steve: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Tortura: But what about us?
Steve: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Tortura: When I said I would never leave you.
Steve: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Tortura, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.
[Tortura lowers her head and begins to cry]
Steve: Now, now...
[Steve gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet]
...Here's looking at you kid.
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<slow clap>
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Play it again, Carl.
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Play it again, Carl.
"Gambling? I am truly shocked to find out that gambling is going on in Ponyleaks Forum!"
(Carl, you win for this.)
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Absolute win for Carl-E.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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I want to thank the academy, and my previous avatar...
(http://u.jimdo.com/www53/o/sdd800450c575b4a8/img/ia2d044b1effee799/1342840913/std/image.jpg)
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Steve: Tortura, how's your band going?
Tortura: Brilliantly! We've reached Number 1 of the Indie Music Charts! My parting present to you is that I'll autograph your jacket.
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Re: Carl:
(http://data.whicdn.com/images/20246388/tumblr_lwsnmfEG1X1qcvd1k_large.gif)
Winner, forever.
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It's the stuff dreams are made of, Carl-E.
STEVE: "I love you."
TORTURA: "I know."
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It's the stuff dreams are made of, Carl-E.
STEVE: "I love you."
TORTURA: "I know."
Yeah, but these words fit in the balloons. Carl-E's can't possibly fit in the balloons.
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It's the stuff dreams are made of, Carl-E.
STEVE: "I love you."
TORTURA: "I know."
Yeah, but these words fit in the balloons. Carl-E's can't possibly fit in the balloons.
The balloon rule, by general consensus, is waived in instances of sufficient awesomeness.
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It's the stuff dreams are made of, Carl-E.
STEVE: "I love you."
TORTURA: "I know."
Yeah, but these words fit in the balloons. Carl-E's can't possibly fit in the balloons.
The balloon rule, by general consensus, is waived in instances of sufficient awesomeness.
As such awesomeness is deemed sufficient by a quorum of forumites, the motion carries. Indubitably, Carl receives the Holopony award for best spoof caption.
Lol. Forum Quorum. :psyduck:
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Reminds me of the rule against using the word FLICK in the older comic books - the ones on cheap paper with ink that bled...
And this reminds me of 'Allo 'Allo:
HERR OTTO FLICK <answering the telephone quickly>: Flick, the Gestapo
<listens>
HERR OTTO FLICK <replying to the unheard caller somewhat slower>: No, I said FLICK, the Gestapo.
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Back in the days when people bought records, the Milwaukee paper used to run a top-ten chart labeled "MILWAUKEE'S HIT PARADE." Then they got a new computer programmed to block out naughty words.
The chart started appearing as "MILWAUKEE HIT PARADE."
The Journal or the Sentinel?
Journal (as I remember it was the early 70s)
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There is a whole generation of people in this state who can't remember when Milwaukee was a two-newspaper town. Of course, that can be said for a lot of cities in the US nowadays...
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Well, I remember when Green Bay was a two-newspaper town because I worked at the one that folded.
I am also old enough to remember when the Journal had the Green Sheet and the Sentinel had a daily front-page cartoon showing how the Braves did the day before.
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They tried to continue that with the Brewers in the 1970's, that I remember.
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I remember when there was thing they called the independent news where they did something called reporting.
Then again it could all have just been a season of Dallas.
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I delivered for the Buffalo Courier-Express, the morning paper, through my teen years. Winter newspaper delivery was an interesting challenge - I can still tell by feel the difference between above and below 10 F (-12 C) by taste.
They "merged" with the Buffalo Daily News (the afternoon paper) in the 80's.