So my mum recently got a bit of a shock. Someone very close to her offered to let her buy his house after he's passed on. He's a good man who means very much to her, and, though he's full of life (visited today and it was incredible to see because he was quite ill last time we met and now he's literally bouncing around everywhere
) he is so old that this offer made the likelihood of his sudden demise very real to her. Moreover, she's very worried he may have wishes for the house and for his art-collection that may be difficult for her to honour, and I believe the worries about this stem from previous painful experiences when her dad's property was portioned out between her and her siblings and promptly mismanaged against his and her wishes. As well as some sort of guilt, I guess?
I believe he strongly wishes to leave her something, in part because she's about the closest he has to an immediate family (though it may be presumptuous to say so, I believe it's accurate), and in part because he worries a great deal about her and her finances. He may also believe she'd be the one person who would respect his wishes re. the house's future and his art.
The catch is, he took out a loan on the house over a decade ago, and, from what I've gathered, the bank has said it will not let us take over that loan. Rather, they're (apparently) demanding a large lump-sum payment which will definitely require a loan from another bank (a ridiculous situation, but I guess the bank really wants the house). My mum can't get such a loan, but I and my wife definitely can. Near as we can tell (and I'll be confirming this soon), the house--even in its present state before any renovation and even considering possible overvaluation--is worth 2.5-3 times the amount that we'd need to borrow. Our debt-burden would be comparable to or lower than that of most Swedish households, and our assets and shared income considerably greater. If my mum (or my sister) chooses to live there, their monthly costs, including mortgage payments, would be lower than they are currently. "Fair" market rent for such a house is around $2k-3k per month and that alone would be enough to pay off the loan in less than 6 years. It could also be rented out to people--eg. students or a young family--at cost, if we wished to do something decent with this gift. It could be a place for my little sisters to live when they eventually move out. It could be place for us to live when we're in sthlm.
All in all, I and my wife believe this would make sense, financially and practically, even though we don't live here in sthlm. I can think of several ways in which his art can be preserved and displayed the way it should, if that is what he wishes. My mum is very stressed out, however, because of all the confusing emotions and the worries that come with anything that have to do with money, the worries about his health, the pressures of moving, etc. Not sure how to help her out with this, but we sat down with her friend and I advised him to think carefully about exactly what it is he wants and then put that in his will together with his lawyer, and we'll talk to the banks etc when that time comes and if we're okay with it. I also advised him to put together a backup-plan in case we decide not to accept this offer.
I just hope my mum can come to terms with all this. I think perhaps the most upsetting thing is that she never expected anything from him, and constantly rebuffed his attempts to give her things, and this offer has made her feel guilty in that weird way most of us can feel bad when we're given something seemingly "in exchange" for something we did freely out of love and friendship. Sometimes it's easier to give gifts to those we love than it is to receive gifts from them.
Author
Topic: Blog Thread 4; Live Free or Blog Hard - 'cos we all like blogging (Read 562348 times)