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Hanners is DIZZY over the ROMANCE!

Does she ever get bummed out about it? (Physical contact?)

Not really. She can't handle it NOW, but maybe someday!

And those 8 gigs of sexy fireman pics from Pintsize? (Only FOUR, and she prefers cowboys now.)

Mom explains it all to Marten

Stop talking and let me be happy for you. (Yes dear.)

Marten is suddenly hesitant: What if it doesn't work out?

You can't live life without taking any risks.

What if you don't know what risks to take? Then take a bunch!

No basement to move back into, though.

Nice cuddle times by the TV...

You're supposed to go to the movies and fancy dinners and stuff.

All we do is play video games and watch anime and make out.

Well, do you wanna do that stuff?

Meh. This is nice.

In the middle of makeouts: BAM BAM BAM! (Oh for the love of - )

Hey buddy! It's me! May!

"SHIT" "Nice to see you too, ass-dick."

[jwhouk]

Yet another week of fun, frolicking and everyone's favorite BDSM starlet!

[Rghfrgl]

Jeph said he was working ahead on a story he really wanted to do.

Now this just may be a intermission, but I'm hoping for 2 weeks of Hannelore just sitting at her computer blushing.

[Squiddlywinx]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

[Method of Madness]

Yeah, I was wondering about that.

[jwhouk]

Gee, thanks, MOM, I'm trying to keep this establishment respectable.

[jwhouk]

Jeph said he was working ahead on a story he really wanted to do.

Now this just may be a intermission, but I'm hoping for 2 weeks of Hannelore just sitting at her computer blushing.

That was already done.

[mustang6172]

Jeph said he was working ahead on a story he really wanted to do.

That doesn't sound like something Jeph would say.

[Method of Madness]

Gee, thanks, MOM, I'm trying to keep this establishment respectable.

You forgot to make the votes only visible after voting

[Schwungrad]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

I suspect one of those "cowboys" should be "firefighters".

[Aziraphale]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

I suspect one of those "cowboys" should be "firefighters".

I was thinking the same thing... first "cowboys" should be "firefighters." Makes more sense that way.

[Jazzmaster]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

Is it really pornography, or just suggestive photographs?

Yes, there is a difference.

[Platypodes]

Definitely a difference, the specifics of which could be debated for fifty pages.....  but we really can't debate what category applies to Hanners's sexy fireman/cowboy pics because I'm pretty sure we don't know any specifics about them.

Edit: Just occurred to me, if Hanners meets a cowboy in person, she's going to be royally uncomfortable because cowboys are really, really dirty (not as in pervy--as in sweat and dust and manure).

Hmmm, maybe she's intrigued with them because  they're so dirty?  Opposites attract, or the allure of the frightening, or the challenge of taking a cowboy and making him squeaky-clean.....

[Is it cold in here?]

We can make a good guess about the firefighter pictures knowing that they came from Pintsize.

[Platypodes]

Haha, good point.

[jwhouk]

The proposed transaction.

[FunkyTuba]

Yeah I doubt the cowboy would mind. Until she broke out the hazmat gear and bleach and UV lights.

[techkid]

But then, Hanners does have an extreme dislike of even the idea of boners. I'd guess that her tastes are more suggestive than explicit.

Warning - while you were typing the forums were subsequently decontaminated. You may want to burn your post.

But I just finished typing that...

[snubnose]

Thats part of her OCD though.

If she would actually manage to overcome it, she would no longer mind that either.

[Schwungrad]

But then, Hanners does have an extreme dislike of even the idea of boners.

Of the idea of someone having a boner on her couch, specifically.

[NilsO]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

Remember, Marigold gave Hanners her collection of sexy man-pictures. I guess some cowboy pictures were part of the collection, and Hanners seems to have found them stimulating. Make a Google pictures search for "sexy cowboys", and you will get an idea of what she likes.

I guess there are not many cowboys in Northampton? Anyways, Hanners would not like to meet a sweaty and dirty cowboy in person.

[Thrillho]

Regardless of whether these fireman photos are porn or not, Hanners has probably seen a hose or two.

*tapdances*

[NilsO]

Regardless of whether these fireman photos are porn or not, Hanners has probably seen a hose or two.

*tapdances*

Terrible pun, but funny. If you look at the Glossary of firefighting equipment, you will no doubt find several items with some sexual relevance. Just use your dirty fantasy.

Suppose Hanners decides to push her boundaries, and try for a pretend sexual encounter, similar to the pretend date she had with Sven. What would her requirements be towards the chosen male?

• Clean shaven, no body hair, short scalp hair
• Extremely clean and disinfected. Hanners might want to supervise this.
• No saliva exchange. Dry kisses on the cheek might be permitted.
• Butt grabbing will be permitted.
• No boners. This will be difficult, as the male has little control over this.
• Definitely no emissions of bodily fluids.
• Result: The male will have serious blue balls afterwards, but Hanners will have progressed emotionally.

[Mlle Germain]

I am pretty sure that what Hanners means by sexy pictures is not porn. Of course I have no proof either.
Anyway, Pintsize does not only have porn pictures - remember he was also offering veterinarians with kittens. (Yes, I know that there is probably porn with those but in the context of the comic, I find it highly unlikely.)

Also, we know that she definitely is not actually attracted to somewhat dirty man - as exemplified by the firement showing up at her door after she first got the pictures from Pintsize. Afterwards she said she was now over firemen, because they were kind of sweaty up close. I am pretty sure the same thing would happen with cowboys - probably good that they are very rare on the east coast, I guess.

[Barmymoo]

This discussion is pretty entertaining, but be careful it doesn't edge over the line - a newcomer who arrived in this thread might not realise where the line is. The line is: no shipping. No talking about Hanners having sex.

[Lubricus]

I'm not sufficiently familiar with American culture to know this, so I'll ask: When Americans are talking about "cowboys", are they referring to men who actually work with cattle, or does it normally include members of a particular subculture?

[ZoeB]

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

I suspect one of those "cowboys" should be "firefighters".

I was thinking the same thing... first "cowboys" should be "firefighters." Makes more sense that way.

(click to show/hide)

[Barmymoo]

I'm not American either but my hunch is that when people reference cowboys, they're referring to the (broadly fictional) depiction of cowboys in films, which ignore the reality of working cattle.

[NilsO]

This discussion is pretty entertaining, but be careful it doesn't edge over the line - a newcomer who arrived in this thread might not realise where the line is. The line is: no shipping. No talking about Hanners having sex.

OK, sorry. For my defense, I might add:

• Hanners was not shipped with a particular male.
• The scenario was a pretend sexual encounter, not a real one.

[Barmymoo]

It wasn't aimed at you specifically, I was just concerned that if someone saw this thread before reading the rules they might take your idea further.

[Neko_Ali]

I'm not sufficiently familiar with American culture to know this, so I'll ask: When Americans are talking about "cowboys", are they referring to men who actually work with cattle, or does it normally include members of a particular subculture?

In short... Yes.

Cowboys can refer to any number of people, really. What Hanners is probably thinking of is smooth skinned, super buff male models wearing chaps and a cowboy hat. Boots and spurs optional. And has nothing really to do with real cowboys at all, any more than sexy X costumes have anything to do with their original subject.

I'm not sure you will see many times where ranchers, who do work with cattle, are called cowboys, other than historically or ironically. I suppose it still happens in some places, but cowboy is one of those words that's been so watered down by media and popular culture that I'm not sure ranchers would claim it for themselves. Mostly it refers to people to take on the affections and dress common to the image of cowboys. Jeans, boots, Stetsons, shirts anywhere from simple white t-shirts to fancy embroidered ones. Generally the fancier the outfit, the more fake it looks though, since traditionally these are hard working people who need tough, long wearing outfits. Rhinestone sequins need not apply, no matter what the movies say.

It can also refer to fans of the sports team, or broadly, anyone from the American South West.

[GarandMarine]

Hell I've been called a cowboy because of my attitude before. There's a lot of meanings in the American culture.

Actually I've been called a cowboy for a couple reasons, including my "magic" ability to ride horses...

I've never worked with cattle besides cooking beef... so your mileage may vary. Wildly.

[DSL]

Historically, cowboys work for ranchers (who own the ranch). Or they work for whichever entity owns the cattle. Not having seen whatever Jeph has decided is on Hanners's storage media, I can't say for sure Hanners is into (pictures of) historic beef wranglers (or the dime-novel image thereof peddled to tenderfeet Back East) or today's fetish fuel.

[Platypodes]

Isn't the fetish fuel cowboy basically the historic beef wrangler with unrealistic hygiene and not so much clothing?

[freeman]

What a novel way to use sentient computers - search for the kind of porn they know you like from the internet!

This discussion is pretty entertaining, but be careful it doesn't edge over the line - a newcomer who arrived in this thread might not realise where the line is. The line is: no shipping. No talking about Hanners having sex.

What about Hanners masturbating? Because I think we're building some case evidence here.

[Border Reiver]

Definitely a difference, the specifics of which could be debated for fifty pages.....  but we really can't debate what category applies to Hanners's sexy fireman/cowboy pics because I'm pretty sure we don't know any specifics about them.

Edit: Just occurred to me, if Hanners meets a cowboy in person, she's going to be royally uncomfortable because cowboys are really, really dirty (not as in pervy--as in sweat and dust and manure).

Hmmm, maybe she's intrigued with them because  they're so dirty?  Opposites attract, or the allure of the frightening, or the challenge of taking a cowboy and making him squeaky-clean.....

Then she should have no trouble with many trades or occupations. 

Military, auto mechanic, plumber, sewer maintenance, the list goes on


Questions, comments, queries , problems, bitches, rude gestures and/or remarks

[Loki]

What a novel way to use sentient computers - search for the kind of porn they know you like from the internet!

This discussion is pretty entertaining, but be careful it doesn't edge over the line - a newcomer who arrived in this thread might not realise where the line is. The line is: no shipping. No talking about Hanners having sex.

What about Hanners masturbating? Because I think we're building some case evidence here.

Not unless it's explicitly canon, and even then I heavily doubt the merits of such a discussion.

[Barmymoo]

The rule here is: don't be creepy.

[hedgie]

What a novel way to use sentient computers - search for the kind of porn they know you like from the internet!

This discussion is pretty entertaining, but be careful it doesn't edge over the line - a newcomer who arrived in this thread might not realise where the line is. The line is: no shipping. No talking about Hanners having sex.

What about Hanners masturbating? Because I think we're building some case evidence here.

Too many bodily fluids involved there.  Even if they're all her own, it's rather canonical that Hanners has objections to such things.

[Barmymoo]

Guys. Stop. Talking. About. Hanners. Masturbating. Or I will lock this thread!

[Kugai]

[DSL]

You'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre dethpicable.

[Kugai]

The Egyptian God of Frustration.

[jwhouk]

Uh oh. Marten Mom and Jim the Baker. What' s next?

Three dads! #### yeah!     9 (24.3%) ()
She moves, he avoids, shenanigans ensue.    2 (5.4%)
He dumps her - and mom ends up moving in with MARTEN!    2 (5.4%)
Sam becomes Veronica's prodigy!    4 (10.8%)
Step-sibling hi-jinks!    2 (5.4%)
"AUNTIE FAYE!" is heard at least ONCE this next week.    5 (13.5%)
"Auntie Dora" never will be.    1 (2.7%)
Marten Dad and Dad Two (Dad Harder) show up. Hilarity Ensues(tm).    5 (13.5%)
A week of Yelling Bird strips - because Jeph's between comic shows.    3 (8.1%)
Spathe Ham, Waffles, and stars in Claire's eyes!    3 (8.1%)
A very, very, VERY hot moderator, sweltering in the jungle.    1 (2.7%)
As always: OTHER (please specify)    0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 37

[ankhtahr]

This is a seriously heartwarming strip.

[mustang6172]

I wonder why Marten's dad moved east.

And if the purpose is to arouse, then yes it's porn.

[cesium133]

dawwwww

[Smallest]

Aww, today's is cute.

She already had cowboy porn but is only just getting into cowboys?

I suspect one of those "cowboys" should be "firefighters".

I was thinking the same thing... first "cowboys" should be "firefighters." Makes more sense that way.

In case you didn't see yet, he changed the first one to firefighters.

And the cowboys I know are actually pretty close to the romanticized ones.

[Method of Madness]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[KOK]

2707 will not fit the new print format.

[celticgeek]

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!