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Training champion wolfhounds

Training champion wolfhound breeders

Barista

Drill instructor

Publishing her own educational videos

Country music singer

Satanic librarian

Regular librarian, like Clarice

Personal trainer for Hannermom

Silly silicon sylph

[Detachable Felix]

Aww yeah, gettin ahead of the curve, as jwhouk stated they weren't gonna be able to do it this week.

SOMEONE PLEASE COME UP WITH A NEW POLL, OKAY?

(click to show/hide)

hear an egotistical forumite (yo) cover the greatest song in the world 
[soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/the-best-worst-idea/bohemian-rhapsody-instrumental[/soundcloud]

[celticgeek]

Well, that was kind of a nice way to start off a new week.

[T]

Is this real life?

(click to show/hide)

[hedgie]

For some reason, that pic reminds me much more of EoE than it does QC.

[Rghfrgl]

This week on QC...the robots rise up against humanity!

[Kugai]

Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the Fandango?

[DSL]

Spathemian Hamsody

[jwhouk]

Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the Fandango?

Thunderbolts and Lightning! Very very frightening to me!

[Method of Madness]

Sad piano always wins. Also yay May being nice (sort of) and Dale shut up and go make a mediocre latte.

[Carl-E]

In the meantime, hear an egotistical forumite (yo) cover the greatest song in the world 

What, no vocals?   

[T]

Protective May? Nice!

[Detachable Felix]

In the meantime, hear an egotistical forumite (yo) cover the greatest song in the world 

What, no vocals?   

I recorded it live at busking, and the vocal track was all ruined by crying babies in the background..

[GarandMarine]

Dale be like "Fuck this, I'm out"

[techkid]

The assassins would be courtesy of HannerMom. HannerDad supplies space-based weaponry (not to mention the orbital bombardment app)

[Orkboy]

I love the humanizing effects of May's concerns for people's privacy and her ability to empathize/sympathize with other people.  First her and Marigold, now her and Hanners.  It's rapidly changing May from a hilariously abrasive source of casual verbal abuse into a well rounded character. 

Is "humanizing" an offensive term in a universe with artificial intelligence?  What's the new term?

[Carl-E]

Personalized? 

[Orkboy]

Well, personalized already means something.  It could be taken to mean adding flames and a spoiler to a stock chassis.  Which would admittedly be pretty cool.

[Is it cold in here?]

Here's an interesting line of nonsense.

What if Marten is a deep-cover bodyguard?

He never showed any capability for violence before meeting Hannelore. The monk and the souffle pan and the Vespavenger confrontation came later if memory serves. When Clinton got weird, Marten deviated from his usual passive non-confrontational style.

The point of a bodyguard like Marten would be that nobody would ever think he's a bodyguard. Maybe he agreed to be deep-conditioned when he took the job, so that he's not even consciously aware of being part of Hannelore's security, which helps him maintain his cover.

The money from the bodyguard job may explain why he's no longer complaining about his student debts, as he was when he met Jimbo. It's laundered through his library job. Tai was so willing to hire him because E-C Industries was going to pick up the cost.

This almost hangs together.

[Is it cold in here?]

Or is this just fantasy?
    - 6 (26.1%)
Caught in a landslide,
    - 1 (4.3%)
No escape from reality.
    - 1 (4.3%)
Open your eyes,
    - 0 (0%)
Look up to the skies and seeeeeee
    - 4 (17.4%)
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
    - 1 (4.3%)
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
    - 0 (0%)
Little high, little low,
    - 0 (0%)
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter, to meeeeeee.
    - 5 (21.7%)
(To me.....) *sad piano*
    - 5 (21.7%

[Orkboy]

Here's an interesting line of nonsense.

What if Marten is a deep-cover bodyguard?

He never showed any capability for violence before meeting Hannelore. The monk and the souffle pan and the Vespavenger confrontation came later if memory serves. When Clinton got weird, Marten deviated from his usual passive non-confrontational style.

The point of a bodyguard like Marten would be that nobody would ever think he's a bodyguard. Maybe he agreed to be deep-conditioned when he took the job, so that he's not even consciously aware of being part of Hannelore's security, which helps him maintain his cover.

The money from the bodyguard job may explain why he's no longer complaining about his student debts, as he was when he met Jimbo. It's laundered through his library job. Tai was so willing to hire him because E-C Industries was going to pick up the cost.

This almost hangs together.

... 

I kinda want this to be true.

[NilsO]

The only super secret gadget we have actually seen around Hanners, is the stealth airship that gave Hanners a ride to Emily's summer cottage. As somebody mentioned earlier, it may be permanently stationed above Northampton, watching over Hanners, ready to defend her. It might also contain a platoon of hunter-killer droids, ready for action.

[Akima]

What if Marten is a deep-cover bodyguard?

I rather like this idea, except he doesn't work at CoD.

And of course Hanners hasn't seen them; that would damage the therapeutic effect of living in the Real World®.

[NilsO]

And of course Hanners hasn't seen them; that would damage the therapeutic effect of living in the Real World®.

Perhaps the easiest explanation is Hanners' own theory. That way, security is not necessary. Whenever there are unwanted developments, the scene would be deleted, and replayed with necessary adjustments of initial conditions

[DSL]

What if Marten is a deep-cover bodyguard?

I rather like this idea, except he doesn't work at CoD.

But he's there a lot. And one of his complaints about the breakup with Dora was that he had to find another coffee shop. Of course he's not going to day the real reason that's frustrating.

[Neko_Ali]

Working at the CoD would actually make him a worse bodyguard than just hanging out there all the time. If he's working, he has to be there on schedule, which probably won't always match with Hanner's schedule unless Dora is in on it. Just hanging out though, he can come and go as he pleases.

Of course, this doesn't fill in any other the other dozens of holes in this theory, but it's fun.

[Zebediah]

OK, you want a wild theory full of holes? Here's a wild theory full of holes: Hannelore is her own bodyguard. Evil Hannelore is actually the same person as Good Hannelore - just an alternate personality that is programmed to take over whenever Hannelore is in danger. And she may have surfaced during the Hannerpocalypse also.

[hedgie]

Hmm, I'd thank that in this one, she was more "Evil Hanners" than in 2682.

[Pilchard123]

Link's bust.

[cesium133]

Remove the quotation marks from around the link and it'll work.

And add a colon after http.

[Pilchard123]

I wonder if we (by which I mean someone with server access) could put together a comic link plugin. Something like

Code: [Select]

Hmm, I'd thank that in [comic=2443]this one[/comic], she was more "Evil Hanners" than in 2682.

[zmeiat_joro]

I'm not sure what Dale means but it soudns a bit assholish.

[DSL]

Dale wouldn't last long in the forums.

[T]

Neither May, Faye, Marten's Mom, yelling bird, sweet tits...

[Kugai]

Well, Dales in the right place for that headache - Have a nice, relaxing Double Espresso.

If you see them Hanners, they aren't doing their job properly.

[Orkboy]

OK, you want a wild theory full of holes? Here's a wild theory full of holes: Hannelore is her own bodyguard. Evil Hannelore is actually the same person as Good Hannelore - just an alternate personality that is programmed to take over whenever Hannelore is in danger. And she may have surfaced during the Hannerpocalypse also.

I want this one to be true even more than the last one. 

[ankhtahr]

I wonder if we (by which I mean someone with server access) could put together a comic link plugin. Something like

Code: [Select]

Hmm, I'd thank that in [comic=2443]this one[/comic], she was more "Evil Hanners" than in 2682.

I seriously doubt that would be a problem. It'd be a simple substitution.

[Zwammy]

OK, you want a wild theory full of holes? Here's a wild theory full of holes: Hannelore is her own bodyguard. Evil Hannelore is actually the same person as Good Hannelore - just an alternate personality that is programmed to take over whenever Hannelore is in danger. And she may have surfaced during the Hannerpocalypse also.

I'm not so sure this couldn't be, Hannelore hasn't really been in any threatening situations to bring EvilHanners to the forefront - and there is enough leakage from the deep programming to make Hannelore have flashes of input from EvilHanners. And since Hannermom doesn't remember getting pregnant that means Hannerdad had her put under, took an egg from her, fertilized it with his super-soldier serum altered seed, then implanted it for a regular pregnancy before setting Hannermom up with some memories that glossed over everything.

Hannelore's OCD and social issues were triggered in part by the deep personality implants, it took years of Station coaxing her along on Hannerdad's carefully planned agenda for her able to function in a semi-normal fashion.

[Zebediah]

The dream about the giant rapping penis may have been another instance of Hannelore's alternate personality leaking through.

Damn, this is getting good. It's almost like the time I totally made up a conspiracy theory about Richard Nixon being the mastermind behind the JFK assassination, and then managed to convince one of my friends it was real. 

Also, May needs to be careful. Assault would certainly be a violation of her parole.

[Method of Madness]

No jury would convict her (also he got off light, he's lucky Faye's not there).

[Schwungrad]

That specific kind of baldness is my worst nightmare. As soon as I detect any trace of it on my head, I'll go skinhead (or at least horseshoe).

[Carl-E]

I'd run around with one of those for several years before I saw it by accident in a double mirror.  My wife said, "Of course you're going bald.  You have been for years.  Haven't you ever looked at your father?"   

Also, the finger snap.  Mondo douchebag. 

[greywolfe]

May is Faye's robotic incarnation.

Did Faye get cloned at some point? Is this a secret Hannerplan?

More news as it comes to light.

[Kugai]

Unless National Enquirer gets there first   


Rude little asshat ain't he?

Typical CoD Customer

[Method of Madness]

Haven't you ever looked at your father?

It's not your father though, it's your maternal grandfather. At least that's what I've always heard. I hope that's the case, because if not I'm screwed.

[SomeCanadianWeirdo]

Could today's strip be Jeph teasing us with the idea that Faye will move to NY with Angus, and her role as Chief Snarkeuse will be taken over by May?  If so it's not working on the forum crowd at least.

[SomeCanadianWeirdo]

And on the Hanner's bodyguard(s) issue I'm not so convinced she has one/them.  Her mother isn't exactly the caring type, while her father is probably too absentminded to realise it might be an issue.  If it weren't for the fact I don't think she wanted a kid in the first place I suspect Hannermom would probably go out and buy an orphan or two to replace Hannelore if something bad happened to her. 

[Method of Madness]

Her mom is very much the caring type, just not the caring type that requires her to do anything. So in that regards, hiring a squad of bodyguards is right up her alley.

[T]

Haven't you ever looked at your father?

It's not your father though, it's your maternal grandfather. At least that's what I've always heard. I hope that's the case, because if not I'm screwed.

It is more complicated than that (everything is more complicated)
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgenic_alopecia#Genetics

[hakko504]

Haven't you ever looked at your father?

It's not your father though, it's your maternal grandfather. At least that's what I've always heard. I hope that's the case, because if not I'm screwed.

Nah. My maternal grandfather had about 10 hairs left on his head when he was 19 and my hair is quite thick, just like my father's.

[Barmymoo]

Baldness is on the X chromosome (like almost everything else!) and is a recessive trait, which is why men get it more than women - women are much more likely to have a dominant non-baldness X because we get two shots at it. So there's really no way to accurately predict whether or not you'll go bald, because even if you track back to your maternal grandfather you still don't know which X you got from your mother.