Fun Stuff > BAND
Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
pcp:
So a friend of mine, whose been in various adventure metal bands over the years, came to me with possibly the greatest idea I've ever heard: he and I are going to out-Dio Dio. We've long talked about how most modern music is missing a major, key, nay essential and necessary ingredient--references to Tigers. Lines like "ride the tiger / you can see his stripes but you know he's clean" are sadly lacking from otherwise very pleasant music. I was thoroughly dissapointed by the fact that Belle and Sebastian's early album, "Tigermilk" hardly did those majestic beasts much justice...
After much recreational drug use, we've hammered out a few details. The point of the entire song is that a medieval village is under attack from mythic dragons, who have broken their thousand-year-truce not to screw with them. One brave soul is chosen among many to climb the highest mountain in the land, and venture deep within the palace of the mother-spirit, to catch a tiger and drink it's milk. Yes, that's right, our song presupposes that drinking the milk of the regal tiger will grant one immortality. The villager is urged by a gryphon to travel to the mountain, explaining: "deep within the palace of the mother-spirit, lies the passion of the tiger and the secret of its milk." After drinking the tiger's milk, with much difficulty in obtaining it, the villager forms a bond between humanity and the tiger race, and the final song of this over two-hour long concept album (featuring kick-ass "Eruope" style synth intros that go nowhere for ten minutes before some crotchety old English guy relates the history of the village and of tigers and dragons) is titled "Riding Tigers into Battle."
I'm thinking it's going to be the best album ever not released. If everyone could listen to it, people fighting to "world peace" would be out of a job. Just wanted to let y'all know.
Cheers,
pcp
pcp:
Also, we're thinking of adding something in about how if you make a White Russian with tiger milk instead of half-n-half you'll be drunk for the rest of your life.
Bastardous Bassist:
Rhapsody has probably already played that DnD campaign and is currently writing an album about their exploits.
pcp:
Yeah, but did they specifically mention drinking the milk of the tiger? 'Cause that's our bread-n-butter!
Bastardous Bassist:
I don't know. It's pure supposition, but I would seriously not be at all surprised.
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