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Author Topic: Need some critique on my wip comic.  (Read 5062 times)

KharBevNor

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« on: 04 Apr 2006, 16:42 »

Right, I have one page finished, and two in 'teaser' form scanned in.







What I need to know is:

1: Do you think the art style is sustainable? Eventually, I want all pages to look like the first one, shitloads of solid black, though of course in non-night-time scenes there will be less, and the gothier characters, for whom I'm nicking from NN2S the idea of just being almost detail-less black blobs with faces.

2: Does anyone actually find the jokes amusing? Or even recognise them as jokes?

Please don't comment on the art on pages 2/3. They're unfinished/crap scans, I just put them up for some flavour of the dialogue.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

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soap

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #1 on: 04 Apr 2006, 19:12 »

i really like the stylised black out look of that first finished page.

i think i 'got' the humour of the second page more than the third, it reminded me of some nights i've had sat out with friends huddled away in the miserable wet.

of course, we always thought we were too classy for drinking white lightning ;)
is that a reference that people will get outside of england ? or is that irrelevent ?
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Justin

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #2 on: 04 Apr 2006, 19:26 »

i think the font you've chosen for the first page may be a little too extravagant, also you might consider removing the hills from the background, they look lazy compared to the boat in the foreground. probably wouldn't see them at night anyhow. i think the style could pull, just keep working at it.
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KharBevNor

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #3 on: 04 Apr 2006, 20:12 »

That font's only for the chapter thingumies. I'm using Steel City Comic as the font for text.

The styles already undergone a bit of an overhaul. I've switched to ink and brush for the inking, and white acrylic for sparks/rain etc. and corrections, meaning the only thing I should, ideally, have to do on the computer is add the lettering (the first page was inked with fineliner and artists black felt-tip. Not only did it take ages, but I had to spend a lot of time smoothing out the black in Photoshop.)

The hills are visible because of the lightning flash, like the town and radio mast. Otherwise I would just have had the lights floating there.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

http://panzerdivisio

tomselleck69

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #4 on: 04 Apr 2006, 21:05 »

i would suggest lining the panels up in a more logical arrangement. i CAN follow the story, but parts of it look rather disjointed.

as it stands now, it seems like you have not yet worked out the kinks of the style with which you've chosen to do the comic. it looks as if you still need to grow in to it somewhat. but then again, whether the art is sustainable or not will depend on what pages 2/3 look like inked and completed.

until then, it never hurts to brush up on fundamentals [anatomy/perspective/lighting/staging/pacing/etc.] also buy a copy of Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud.


and a hint for large black fills: dip a q-tip in ink and use that instead of a pen or brush. gives you a uniform consistency and massively cuts down on the time/tedium of filling up empty space. try it, it seriously works wonders.
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KharBevNor

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #5 on: 04 Apr 2006, 21:36 »

What's a q-tip?
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

http://panzerdivisio

tomselleck69

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #6 on: 04 Apr 2006, 21:43 »

cotton swabs. for your ears, mang.

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KharBevNor

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #7 on: 04 Apr 2006, 22:15 »

oh, cotton buds. Crazy yanks.
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[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

http://panzerdivisio

Justin

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #8 on: 05 Apr 2006, 12:03 »

Quote from: KharBevNor
The hills are visible because of the lightning flash, like the town and radio mast. Otherwise I would just have had the lights floating there.


ah, i didn't see the lightning, maybe make the bolt a bit bolder then
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Gryff

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Need some critique on my wip comic.
« Reply #9 on: 05 Apr 2006, 21:05 »

I think the flow of the panels needs work. I found it a little confusing trying to figure out which panel lead to the next.

Otherwise, I like your art style. The solid black looks way good.
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