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The Funniest Quotes

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m0o0oeh:
"Stop, please... the spirit is willing but the flesh is... spongy and bruised..." Zapp Brannigan

"You mean "Wanna-bang-go!" Quagmire

"Damn you vile woman!" Stewie

"I've got a present for you. I'll give you a hint. It's in my daiper and it's not a toaster!" Stewie

You gotta love that little guy aintcha!

Joe

SilentJ:
Family Guy

Peter: "How about that side-boob?  Do you like that side-boob? You shouldn't, because that's my side-boob."

superwill:
Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity
   "We might run into some turbulence and then explode."

Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
   "It's not that I want to kill Lois, it's just that I want her not to be alive. Anymore. Sometimes I wonder if all women are this difficult. Then I think: Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"

Superman, Family Guy
   "Yeah, a hooker made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet and I broke her in half."

Anna Banana:
(From Futurama)

Lila: We have to save two of every animal and put them on the spaceship

Bender: Why two?

(Lila whispers why to Bender. Bender laughs.)

=PPPP

Anna Banana:
Oh and from Lois & Clark:

Lois (to Clark): All right, maybe somewhere very deep inside me is some eensy-weensy, microcosmic-although highly unlikely-possibility that I feel some sort of unmotivated, complete unrealistic attraction to you.

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