Topic: Best/Worst things to say during sex? (Read 182995 times)

Andrea · « **Reply #50 on:** 13 Feb 2007, 18:27 »

Quote from: Grimmy on 08 Feb 2007, 09:44

Quote from: Andrea on 02 Feb 2007, 19:00
"Do you even know what you doing???" this was said after he nailing me in the thigh just a few inches above my knee cap.

I SAID I was sorry....gosh...
But the fact that I was halfway across the room when I did it should give me SOME brownie points...

Grimmy
only remembers that moment from that night...

lol wel alright i will give you credit for that.

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

Luke C · « **Reply #51 on:** 14 Feb 2007, 11:45 »

You probably have to have seen the Ross Noble show to get this gag but:

"Show me where your mother lives!"

Thy Dungeonman · « **Reply #52 on:** 14 Feb 2007, 13:00 »

Quote from: Andrea on 13 Feb 2007, 18:27

hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.

Eris · « **Reply #53 on:** 14 Feb 2007, 16:20 »

Quote from: Eris on 07 Feb 2007, 00:22

"Show me where your mother lives!"

Quote from: Luke C on 14 Feb 2007, 11:45

"Show me where your mother lives!"

Andrea · « **Reply #54 on:** 17 Feb 2007, 19:19 »

Quote from: Thy Dungeonman on 14 Feb 2007, 13:00

Quote from: Andrea on 13 Feb 2007, 18:27
hmmmm something else thats horrible:
"OUCH!! WRONG HOLE RETARD!!!!"

It would be funnier/more horrible still iff it was the guy who said that.

oh good god that would be sooooooo awkward to here that.

. Brian . · « **Reply #55 on:** 17 Feb 2007, 20:03 »

Is that a grenade?

Andrea · « **Reply #56 on:** 18 Feb 2007, 19:27 »

"Oh what that line??? Thats just a little scaring from the surgery" kind of a sex change operation joke

firekow · « **Reply #57 on:** 21 Feb 2007, 18:55 »

"JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION!"

Stayc · « **Reply #58 on:** 22 Feb 2007, 01:43 »

"Hunny. My IBS is acting up again."

WelshPete · « **Reply #59 on:** 23 Feb 2007, 06:09 »

Quote from: Duffman

"Are you ready for some Duff love?!?!?"

Duffman quotes are always class.....ooooh yeah!

OverdueKarma · « **Reply #60 on:** 23 Feb 2007, 16:56 »

Guy climaxes and says "I peed."

maddness · « **Reply #61 on:** 27 Feb 2007, 15:21 »

Quote from: ampersandwitch on 08 Feb 2007, 16:05

You know, I think doing a screamo scream might scare the shit out of anyone who has just penetrated you/ been penetrated by you. It's like a battlecry, but scarier.

I think, if it's a guy, it would be funny if as soon as he's in he starts screaming like he's terrified.

Or like he starts howling in pain and then say something along the lines of "Jesus! What do you have in there? Razor blades?!!"

You could wait until your both really into it, squeeze your eyes shut tight, and then say "Oh, God, mom, you'll always be the best."

Another fun one is to start screaming "No, daddy, no! Please don't!!!"

Andrea · « **Reply #62 on:** 27 Feb 2007, 15:41 »

As soon as the guy dropped his pants the lady squeals in a high pitched tone "Awwwwwwwwwww aint that a cute little bugger" its like the verbal equivalent to being castrated lol.

TheMusicMan · « **Reply #63 on:** 27 Feb 2007, 17:08 »

The biggest buzz-kill I've ever heard of is, "Thanks Granma!"

est · « **Reply #64 on:** 01 Mar 2007, 16:08 »

"Hang on a sec, hon. I think the other girls are finally here"

ItsAShameAboutRay · « **Reply #65 on:** 02 Mar 2007, 10:40 »

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

"Resistance is futile!"
"Don't worry, won't take bit a minute or less."

FireStarter · « **Reply #66 on:** 03 Mar 2007, 20:47 »

"OMG WTF REG PLEASE!!!!"

"Fire in the hole" (at the moment of male climax)

"Safty"

"Touchdown!"

"Hold on I gotta shit"

"Pika Piiii"

"After this, you're cooking dinner right?"

"RAPE!"

"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"

from an inside joke amongst my friends, an old roomate of mine had come out while we were playing DBZ budokai and asked how to put a condom on. The smokers took a quick smoke break so we could laugh outside his room's window.

Or, the time we called another friends room while he was in the middle of his first time and her's as well (she's now his wife so...) and held the phone up to the speakers we had playing James Brown's Sex Machine. When he unplugged the phone and answering machine we moved the speakers to the hallway and continued the play list which included Karma Kamelion Bad Boys, and of course the great classic amazing grace (they are both devote christians)

Stayc · « **Reply #67 on:** 05 Mar 2007, 22:51 »

Quote from: FireStarter on 03 Mar 2007, 20:47

"It's ok if I used this condom before right?"

Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before? Haha. Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that. Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.

Donald Trump a bitch with "You're fired"

Coming Home · « **Reply #68 on:** 07 Mar 2007, 14:09 »

"Was that green stuff there before or after we started getting it on?"

Obaten · « **Reply #69 on:** 08 Mar 2007, 16:55 »

after you insert, (for dudes)

"POW! right in the babymaker!"

HerrFuhl · « **Reply #70 on:** 08 Mar 2007, 19:03 »

Quote from: ItsAShameAboutRay on 02 Mar 2007, 10:40

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

If my girlfriend started quoting Dune during sex, I would know to marry her instantly. right fucking then.

Andrea · « **Reply #71 on:** 09 Mar 2007, 17:21 »

Quote from: Stayc on 05 Mar 2007, 22:51

Is it bad that I have been asked something similar to this before? Haha. Ew, and that makes me shiver at the thought of that. Needless to say that was an interesting encounter. Haha.

I had a boyfriend at the time try and tell me it was ok to wash and reuse them. That prompted my hand to form a fist and punch him in the head. Needless to say I went home that night with out any lovin.

The extra letter · « **Reply #72 on:** 10 Mar 2007, 23:13 »

Whoops, where did it get to?

Warshrike · « **Reply #73 on:** 13 Mar 2007, 04:02 »

"I'm a Virgin"
"Great!! Now, you just need to show it to someone else or you die in seven days!!"
Or just "You will now die in seven days"
...
...
...
...
...
...
"BUKKAKE!!"

Ã¶de · « **Reply #74 on:** 13 Mar 2007, 04:06 »

WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?

Andrea · « **Reply #75 on:** 14 Mar 2007, 09:12 »

"Is it in yet?" "Your over 18 right?" and after things are done" Your video was much better"

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #76 on:** 14 Mar 2007, 09:26 »

Quote from: öde on 13 Mar 2007, 04:06

WHO'S GAY NOW, DAD?

Oh Gosh.

blackhelldemon · « **Reply #77 on:** 17 Mar 2007, 00:40 »

I have one...

"WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!"

or

"dont worry you will only feel a little prick and then its over"

Ã¶de · « **Reply #78 on:** 17 Mar 2007, 08:37 »

"GET THOSE IMAGES OUT OF YOUR SIGNATURE, THEY'RE NOT APPRECIATED HERE."

I imagine that would result in a very short relationship.

pirate · « **Reply #79 on:** 17 Mar 2007, 12:52 »

Man, you look so much like my D&D seductress character, would you mind putting on this chainmail bikini next time? Don't mind the sticky stuff, it's... metal polish.

I've had better. And by better, I mean my hand.

man, you're so much better than either of my wives. or my sister.

pirate · « **Reply #80 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 00:45 »

Oops, I think some of my crabs just escaped into your butthole.

Uncle Fisty · « **Reply #81 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 08:14 »

He he, "HADOKEN!"

pirate · « **Reply #82 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 11:07 »

SHORYUKEN!

Thy Dungeonman · « **Reply #83 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 11:16 »

"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"

Andrea · « **Reply #84 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 16:55 »

"WHOA FELLA WHOA" like a cowboy???

pirate · « **Reply #85 on:** 19 Mar 2007, 23:56 »

Stop. I can't do this.

It would suck to hear that, but I would totally respect someone's request nonetheless.

Ã¶de · « **Reply #86 on:** 20 Mar 2007, 03:27 »

EEENF EEEENF

camelpimp · « **Reply #87 on:** 20 Mar 2007, 08:50 »

"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."

Andrea · « **Reply #88 on:** 21 Mar 2007, 05:33 »

Quote from: camelpimp on 20 Mar 2007, 08:50

"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family..."

I dont believe I could continue if this was said. I'd feel creepy like there was little kids around or somthing. ewwww

Switchblade · « **Reply #89 on:** 21 Mar 2007, 10:22 »

"Oh... oh God.... Uh... I'm so sorry... Look, I'd better go get a phone or something. Just stay calm! DON'T DIE ON ME!!" *run out of the room*

Ã¶de · « **Reply #90 on:** 21 Mar 2007, 12:49 »

EEEEEENF

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #91 on:** 22 Mar 2007, 05:42 »

So, I hear you like mudkips.

Uncle Fisty · « **Reply #92 on:** 22 Mar 2007, 10:25 »

The "Dean Scream."

Oh yeah, baby, oh, EEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

PyreTroll · « **Reply #93 on:** 22 Mar 2007, 19:40 »

"Damnit, this isn't working, it's too loose."

interpret that as you will, I imagine a guy saying it.

Thy Dungeonman · « **Reply #94 on:** 22 Mar 2007, 19:42 »

Quote from: ampersandwitch on 22 Mar 2007, 05:42

So, I hear you like mudkips.

I think it would be even worse if the response was "ya i liek mudkipz!"

Andrea · « **Reply #95 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 05:07 »

"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"

pirate · « **Reply #96 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 07:57 »

Quote from: Andrea on 23 Mar 2007, 05:07

"WOW you couldnt have been more of a virgin if you tried"

During sex dearie. How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"

PyreTroll · « **Reply #97 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 08:00 »

"that was great, let's do it again."
"but I'm (not done yet/still going!)"

qtownstegy · « **Reply #98 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 08:08 »

I AM THE MUFFIN MAN!!!

Or no sound at all, just the faint whisper of crickets chirping outside the window.

"Does this feel good?"
"Do you feel anything?"
"We've been going at this for an hour now and you haven't moaned or even made a sound."
"Am I doing it wrong?"
"Why does your body feel so cold?"

Andrea · « **Reply #99 on:** 23 Mar 2007, 12:42 »

Quote from: pirate on 23 Mar 2007, 07:57

During sex dearie. How about: "You're new at this, aren't you?"

I was under the impression that the thread kind of morphed into best/worst thing to say at any point in the sexing be it pre coital(sp?), during, or post coital(sp?). My bad

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Best/Worst things to say during sex? (Read 182995 times)

Andrea

Andrea

. Brian .

Andrea

firekow

OverdueKarma

Andrea

TheMusicMan

ItsAShameAboutRay

FireStarter

Coming Home

HerrFuhl

Andrea

Warshrike

Andrea

blackhelldemon

pirate

pirate

Uncle Fisty

pirate

Andrea

pirate

camelpimp

Andrea

Uncle Fisty

PyreTroll

Andrea

pirate

PyreTroll

Andrea