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[Gridgm]

while searching for new music i came accross this possibly the most hateful review i've heard since paris hilton released an album it makes me want to hunt down the album just to see if it lives up to it's review but in all seriousness there is a fine art in truly writing a bad review of something - post some

http://www.wirelessbollinger.com/reviews/music_reviews/an_interlude_to_the_outermost/

[thenosebleedkid]

I'm sure most people could write something more scathing than that - sure it was harsh, but I reckon most people with a reasonable command of the English langauge could do more!

[amok]

Someone post that pitchfork review with the monkey, that shit never gets old.

edit: http://pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/38853-shine-on

[KharBevNor]

Don't think it's around online, but the nastiest review I ever read was from a guest reviewer in a Metal Hammer about four years ago, who compared the experience of listening to the album in question (can't even remember what it was) to being six years old and walking in on your mother sodomising your bound and gagged father with a strap-on in the middle of the kitchen table.

Then I suppose there's this

Also, Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat sound rather good.

[SusurrusIgnoramus]

dude... i LOVED with teeth.  i'm not a big NIN fan, but that album was awesome.

[Emaline]

Holy run-on sentence, Batman!

[Thrillho]

I'd post some of mine but the website I write for is down for some reason.

[Luke C]

Then I suppose there's this

I lol'd.

[amok]

Then I suppose there's this

Yeah, that basically sums up the With Teeth experience.

[Kai]

the With Teeth review was what popped into my head when I saw the title.

shit.

[MlKE]

there is absolutely no reason a band should be allowed to name themselves "Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat" and get a record deal, as well.

[ScrambledGregs]

That With Teeth review is bullshit if only because it shows 1 and a half dots out of 5. Shouldn't it have been zero??

[Johnny C]

Reviewing a t.A.t.U. song called "All About Us" for Stylus Magazine once, I wrote

"We us me you us we us me you us you me us," okay, we fucking get it.

[jeph]

Those TMT and Pitchfork reviews really piss me off. Yes, we get that you think the album is bad. How about fucking telling us WHY you think that instead of trying to be clever? Last I checked, you were writing for a music review site, not comedy. If you're too lazy to actually formulate and explain your opinions, leave it to someone who can be bothered to try.

[Tago Mago]

Music critics are all such pathetic wretches that no one can really expect truly stinging reviews from them anymore. You'd have to get, like, Immanuel Kant to review Shine On for the review to REALLY hurt.

[Hat]

Jeph, like anyone who reads Pitchfork would prefer to know what a Jet album sounds like, rather than watch a monkey try to drink its own piss.

[Noct]

Excellent idea, but personally I think I'd rather see Nietzsche's opinion of the spice girls' reunion.

[Johnny C]

The TMT review is a joke on recycled material that's surprisingly effective. Pitchfork's previous Jet review was overwhelmingly negative and also self-explanatory; the video is basically making reference to the idea that Jet seem to be merely repeating themselves at their worst.

As such I think they're really effective reviews.

[Luke C]

That With Teeth review is bullshit if only because it shows 1 and a half dots out of 5. Shouldn't it have been zero??

I didn't understand that. Surely if you hate an album that much you should give it the minimum score? :S

[ScrambledGregs]

But that's not a real review, Tommy.

[ImRonBurgundy?]

I came across a review of a Sum41 show in an old issue of Meanstreet from 2003:

Sum of All Bullshit
Because I'm an evil-looking hillbilly thug accompanied by a girlfriend bearing a marked resemblance to BETTY BOOP, I got something above the usual attention from door security at the SUM 41 show at the Palladium.  We got to the balcony well in time to note that they can certainly fill the place with skillfully undemanding noise.  There were a lot of punk families in attendance--tattooed mom and dad pulling along the little spike-haired ankle-biter, all looking like utter shit in the great tradition.  To say that Sum 41's music is "sell out" and "corporate garbage" is beside the point.  What they do is completely divorced from any context, punk or otherwise, and relates to fuck all going on in the world.  It always fascinates me to see people happily settling for less than nothing in the name of "punk".  Calling a helpless old beef like Anna Nicole Smith "a fucking cunt" from the stage just don't make it as an old-school statement.  Degradation now being the national mood, the place was at capacity.

[pilsner]

Great topic.  The tradition of over the top scathing music reviews is centuries old, and some of the reviews that classical composers received in the 19th and early 20th centuries make the Pitchfork pissing monkey look like an angelic choir.  Still, over the past 10 years I've seen a trend of hysterically negative reviews of prominent artists transition from the literary world to the indie music world.  Blogs, not only Pitchfork but other blogs as well, seem to be one culprit, but on the other hand relatively prominent critics.  Here's a Chris Ott review I particularly disliked.

I think it's fairly obvious that these reviews are more about the reviewer than they are about the review.  The reviewer seeks to draw unearned attention by making personal attacks against the artist, writing a one-sided review, and posing as an iconoclast or leader of the backlash.  It's the worst facet of art criticism.  Unfortunately, these reviews appear to be popular, possibly because to many of the schmucks that compose the indie music scene, contempt=cool.