Fun Stuff > CHATTER
plans for the inevitable undead uprising
calenlass:
For all you fuckers talking about how bad it would be to go to the Arctic, didn't any of you shitdicks read Julie of the Wolves?
Melodic:
Congratulations Obsessions, I think you're the first person to agree with me on these boards, period.
Also, the amount of food one person can transport with them, short of having a cargo plane license, isn't sufficient for any amount of time: your location for survival would be absolutely linked to the food sources nearby. Living in the Arctic? Nope. Living on an oil platform? Not really. If I had the choice, I'd live in a heavily-fortified canned tuna factory.
Patrick:
--- Quote from: Melodic on 09 Feb 2008, 11:32 ---Which is still easily accessible as long as your favorite local airline still makes routine trips to the Arctic during a zombie outbreak. Right?
--- End quote ---
It takes basic reading skill and a few hours of the flight tutorials on Microsoft Flight Simulator to figure out how to do start up an airplane (even a multi-engine turboprop or jet, which is important info for later).
The reading skill comes in handy when you go to fuel the airplane. You look at the tank filling points and you see where it says "JET A ONLY" or "JET B ONLY" or whatever, and you find the appropriate nozzle and make with the pumping. If you fuck up the fuel types, you won't even get off the damn runway, because the engines will just straight up shut down (it has happened in the news within the last few months, that's the only reason I know that part).
Then comes the fun part. You take your newfound Flight Simulator skills (my good friend is an FAA licensed instructor and says that it really is one of the best tools for learning how to fly and practicing the requirements for getting certain ratings) and you commandeer the airplane you've just fuelled up. If you're not a jackass, you'll have gone to an air base where they have a few ski-equipped C-130s (rather useful, you can take the skis off and use them for dragging shit to/from the aircraft to set up/break down camp).
You take all your supplies and stick them in the cargo hold. There's tiedown equipment just plain laying around in those things, so that part isn't going to be a problem. Then you close up the hydraulic ramp (that part is going to be YOUR problem, sorry, they don't have a program for that on Flight Simulator), do your startup checklist and your run-up checklist, and away you go. All U.S. Air Force C-130s have nav gear out the ass so finding someplace remote isn't going to be any trouble.
Then you fly out to wherever you really want to go. There's plenty of air bases in the U.S. that are all well within C-130 range of each other, and them 130s are really economic and reliable airplanes considering the job they do, where they do it, and how much shit you can haul in them (do your research on that, though, nobody wants to overload and crash and die).
This works pretty well for the nomadic thing, and it's not so bad for a zombie-proof shell. If all else fails, you can even just turn the engines on, give it full one-side brake, engine and rudder, set the other engines to reverse power (C-130s can do that shit, you know) and spin around until you've crushed them all. The propellors are high enough to not be a head-chop hazard, which is always nice, considering that you don't want to fuck that thing up, they're a bitch to replace even if you've got supply lines running smoothly and a full team of trained individuals.
Slick:
The arctic is for suckers. I'm all about the northern taiga. That shit I can deal with, though I'd have to learn how to dry preserve meat.
RedLion:
It also depends on what you mean by "Arctic." If you're talking Barrow, Alaska, then yeah, that's ridiculous. You're not going to get there. But if you're talking about further south--Valdez, Juneau, Sitka--then it's completely feasible and frankly, a brilliant idea.
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