Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Poll: Do you see Marten and Dora's relationship lasting?
Naoko:
--- Quote from: tomart on 05 Feb 2008, 19:25 ---
Edit: Department of Gender Studies: I think we have to ultimately admit men and women don't think and feel alike. I've always been all for equality, but sometimes Truth trumps our most fervent wishes. Just another case in point:
Male: "Dora just bitched about Marten having girlfriends ten years ago on the other side of the fucking continent. Insecurity is one thing, this is fucking possession."
Female: "u've got to admit, it would be really awkward for a minute after hearing that your boyfriend still has some feelings for a girl he dated before. Who wants their boyfriend to be thinking about past loves? It's not something to fight over, but it IS something that might give a girl a sad feeling in her heart for a few seconds."
--- End quote ---
I wouldn't have made my post and case if the men in the relationships I know of broke up with their girlfriends when their girlfriends had insecurities. The guy in the relationship understands the insecurity, and most of them try to help the girl get over it. I've seen it cause small fights, but all relationships have small fights. It's normal. My post wasn't just about how the female feels about it - if the guy left the girl for being insecure at times, then I wouldn't have any case at all. Besides, the guys I know get insecure at times, too. That kind of breaks the whole male/female perspective thing. Looking in, one might think, "OH MY GOD insecurities they're going to break up," but in a real-life relationship, it just doesn't usually work like that, unless the insecurities are getting out of hand.
Still, a story and real-life are two different things. If Jeph allows them to have short fights and small insecurities, and yet doesn't make them break up over it, it's pretty realistic. If they do break up, then there are 3 possibilities: they're not realistic characters, they're not very good at holding relationships together and compromising, or maybe Dora will have gotten worse by that time. Dora's instances don't seem out-of-hand to me, they seem pretty normal for that stage of relationship.
Like I said, I'm going off of relationships I see around me, including my own. (Well, I'm long distance, so I guess I have a better reason to be temporarily insecure. I won't be much at all once I move in with him in a few months, but that's an entirely different story.) EVERYONE fights a little bit. It's totally natural. If they were married, it would be a little odd for Dora to be acting like this - but they're not married, they're in the "I like you - I love you - I want to be with you" sort of stage. Fighting and insecurities are COMMON in relationships like that. I've seen this in practically every long-term successful relationship around me - people have insecurities and people fight. It's NATURAL.
If Dora gets worse or more often, that might pose a problem. But I've only seen a few instances every so often, and in real life, that's kind of normal.
I hope I'm getting my point across well. Geh. Sorry, people. Maybe I'm just ranting and not making much sense. I hope I am.
tomart:
Just to be clear, I totally agree with you; I've been on both sides of that insecurities thing. It is natural, in that stage.
I was using your words to make a totally different point - that men and women still, in this day and age of supposed enlightenment, don't feel and think alike, and this still leads to misunderstandings.
raoullefere:
Supposed enlightenment. Hah!
I say this after enduring a month or so of my knuckle-draggin' relatives' (of both sexes, mind) opinions of, well, you can guess, and I don't want to start talking about that:
* Wemmins cain't think without them emotions gettin' in th' way
* Men ______s (fill it in) won't respect a woman
* Wemmins 'is too jealous-like (petty)
* Menses 're more level-headed (does this mean our skulls are flatter on top?)
I could go on, but me stomach is protesting,
To paraphrase a certain comedy show that I don't particularly like, sometimes I think we are so far from Supposed Enlightenment that the light from Supposed Enlightenment will take 100 years to reach us.
For the record, it seems to me that individuals have a hard enough time communicating, particularly when the subjects are repressed fears or insecurities to account for most misunderstandings, without sticking anything else in. Attributing misunderstandings to gender is very often either labeling culturally supported, imposed, and indoctrinated stereotypes as 'gender' differences, or just our propensity to try to impose a pleasing sort of order on observed phenomena. The Men/Mars Women/Venus thing, for example, is bullshit, but it's fun bullshit.
Also: So you see, Dr. Tomart, there is nothing you can post that I will not reply to.
raoullefere:
Many apologies if I offended with that last post. Thing is, if I say it to the folks whom I'd like to hear it, I'll get tarred and feathered. Virtual tarring and feathering sounds less painful and fatal. So slap it on, if you feel like it.
Also, I fervently hope now that when I next follow-up to one of Tomart's posts, my head doesn't explode.
Doug S. Machina:
--- Quote from: DrizztLink on 06 Feb 2008, 20:24 ---[Uh, Spider-man kind of sold his marriage to Satan. Seriously, probably not the best comparison, there.
--- End quote ---
Sorry to bring down the tone (which I'm findng intelligent and insightful), but what? Was that a weird storyline?
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