Fun Stuff > MAKE

slam i wrote a little bit ago

<< < (2/2)

meowmix:
/rez my account

I really enjoyed this. You could stand to work on the punctuation; but it's just a triviality.
Good show!

imboden:
I've cleaned it up a bit for ease of reading.  Mostly, my critiques are more formatting to apply emphasis. 


--- Quote ---I pulled out your favorite book again last night.
The one colored like night and time and safeway.
Fried chicken and look your lover in the eye and every color is that color.

It wasnt as good this time, i realized all the characters were assholes,
and sluts and that the author was lying when he said this meant something to him,
and really he just wanted a bite to eat and a few bucks for cigarettes,
and he's just tired of it because most books are read on the assumption that a sad person is a beautiful person,
and that if someone makes you cry you must be in love with them.

At your best you were blue and green and yellow and red, and I swear I saw you in the sky after the rain,
at your worst you were darker then a dead authors cigarette,
and now i think im a little closer to understanding my grandfather's sadness,
half-singing "you cant smoke anywhere anymore"

Who thinks of Joseph Stalin, 6 years old, happy cause its spring and,
"todays the day i get to ride my bicycle without training wheels"

Who thinks of Martin Luther King crying into his mothers arms because
the pretty girl just laughed at him when he asked her to homecoming

mother theresa mustve gotten horny once in a while

Hitler. Dreamed. Of. Becoming. An artist.

and sometimes the sunlight is like butter and it drips into your hair andyour eyes,
and even your cracks and crevices and all your dark places,
and you shine like the 4th of July in the morning,
and the world cries and it cries and it cries.
Because it's just too beautiful and it has no lover to hold it in this empty forever.
So it draws itself one with sidewalk chalk, and dandelions
and dreams and cheap moment and snow days and sunday dinners and shit and God and the Devil

And the parts of your fingernails you chew on when your a little scared and a little excited cause I swear thats all people are.

So when I say keep breathing, remember I really mean you don't always have to be choking on someones tongue.
But I've been tripping on my own words like bodies on a battlefield so when I say cats got my tongue remember
I really mean that making love these days tastes like blood and gunfire and i am. Tired. Of. This. War.

so i guess i just mean that I'm an asshole and, I'm a slut.
But so is everyone else and the world manages to be beautiful sometimes anyways.
And somedays it's not too hard to forget and the sky shines like the 4th of July
in the morning and all the old men light a cigarette cause moments like these are worth dying for.
Some days we are not shades of gray but. An invincible. Unapologetic. Forever. Rainbow.
--- End quote ---

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page