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Videos you cannot believe you own
Johnny C:
I have in my possession a crime film titled King Midas.
--- Quote ---Tommy Gold makes a living out of dealing drugs. One day he gets caught carrying cocaine. He is sentenced to ten years in prison, but gets released after two years. In prison Tommy had plenty of time to think things over and as soon as he is released, he wants to return to his old job. Since he doesn't have any money, he pays a visit to Uncle Murphy, a loan shark. With his newly found fortune, things are seemingly going very well for Tommy. He's becoming more famous by the day, but still it's not enough. Tommy wants even more. He decides to buy a studio for his hip hop musician friend Chief, which Tommy can use to make his business look more legit.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---Made by real-life drug dealers and convicted felons. The Connecticut State Police tried to confiscate the rights to the movie under drug-forfeiture laws.
--- End quote ---
So much about this movie is fantastic.
* The cover depicts a bald black man holding a gold-plated shotgun. Neither of these things appear in the film.
* There is a rap interlude detailing the "story of King Midas."
* There is the ugliest stripclub.
* At one point the lead actor forgets his line, so the actor playing his friend has to make up a line that includes both King Midas' line and his own.
* The sex scene is visibly uncomfortable for the actress playing the love interest, and King Midas seems not to notice at all.
By the end of the film I was past the point of tears.
Cartilage Head:
Actually a cool documentary!
Narr:
Is that Ziggy Stardust crying in a red dress in the corner of that tape?
blanktom:
After the slew of terrible horrors from Narr, I thought I'd pitch in.
'After seventeen years of slaughtering all but one member of a family, "The Sandman" is pending execution. Before his execution the jailers allow a minister to visit him. The minister is a voodoo priest and an ally of the prisoner which the jailers did not tweak. A hex is placed onto The Sandman so when his execution is over his soul can travel to a new body made of sand. The Sandman then plots to kill a man named "Griffin", the last survivor of his family.'
I got this as a gift. I can't even wear it.
Boro_Bandito:
--- Quote from: KharBevNor on 15 Jan 2008, 08:09 ---
Cradle of Fear
This film stars Dani Filth. 'nuff said. Ok, no, not enough said. At one point, Dani transforms into a lovecraftian monstrosity and impregnates this goth chick with a hideous mutant spider baby that eats its way out of her womb. Oh, and he eats a cat.
--- End quote ---
Eats a cat? Man, He cuts it open, all the guts fall out onto a silver platter in a huge lump while the cat is still screaming out, and then he tosses the cat, and picks up the platter and downs it all in one enormous gulp. That is not eating a cat, that is pure awesome. I actually think this movie is freaking sweet, and probably the best low budget horror ever.
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