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Attention! Fiction!
Jimmy the Squid:
I would like something with time travel, dinosaurs and a buxom love interest. I suppose sci-fi would be the genre, though if you could make it into the memoir of an 18th century explorer that would be fantastic.
öde:
--- Quote from: ZJGent on 03 Mar 2008, 01:56 ---The Third Watch
--- End quote ---
Good, but a little over the top on the imagery. It also feels a little rushed, too much crammed into a few paragraphs. B+.
Calaveth:
--- Quote from: ZJGent on 03 Mar 2008, 03:45 ---Blue Foxglove
--- End quote ---
Ah, I want to read the next chapter! This reads perfectly as cheap kiosk literature. :)
ZJGent:
--- Quote from: JimmytheSquid on 03 Mar 2008, 03:50 ---The Third Crypt of Hartley Campagnan, Adventurer, Gentleman and Rogue, as related by Jennifer Ellick, Librarian and Lady*
--- End quote ---
Thursday the fifth of January: - We explored the forests to the west of this strange new plateau. Mr Campagnan assures me that we were displaced last night by the ancient crypt not only in space, but also in time. My examination of the local flora and fauna has done nothing to disprove this... each of the creatures we have found seem to be those which turn up only on shores as shadows bevelled into the great sea rocks, extincted completely by the passing of time. Imagine my surprise when this thursday I saw what looked to be a great flying lizard in the skies above us. Unfortunately, by the time I had managed to direct Mr Campagnan's attentions upwards the lovely beast had disappeared into the enormous trees. That night we camped inside a shallow, elevated cave, taking alternate sleeping shifts. I must admit, I perhaps took more than my fair share of sleep, as when I awoke, I could see that Mr Campagnan was lain beside me, fast asleep and snoring gently. I woke him from his slumber, taking great care that he not misassess the situation. His eyes flickered open - large, blue eyes that contrasted sharply with his dark hair. The man was handsome, there was no denying it, but this was a scientific expedition, and it is not the done thing - alas, I go too far in my descriptions.
Friday the sixth of January (noon): Oh, that cad Campagnan! Today we found the humans native to this strange and dizzy plateau - and - well, I shall merely relate what happened. We were approaching a small hillock that rose from the grassy thickets to the north, when I first glimpsed her. An amazon queen, statuesque and buxom, afforded of long, curled blonde hair and wearing naught but leather underclothes! I know it is not fair to judge morals in the historically backward - but for goodness' sakes, the woman was practically naked. And Mr Campagnan was no help at all - making comments such as I shan't relate on the 'beneficial aspects of the view' and suchforth. And when this prehistoric maiden approached, far from avert his eyes, I could tell the man was positively staring at this... this... ugh! I cannot continue, for fear I shall overstep myself!
Saturday the seventh of January: It is simply unfair. Yes, she possesses a somewhat remarkable beauty - but she is unkempt! And the smell! Today we tried to converse with the newcomer, but all we have managed to coax speechwise from her is an indistinct mumble that might be her name... "Day-Sah"? I am frankly ashamed of Mr Campagnan's roguish ways. I tried to broach the subject away from that prehistoric ... scarlet woman! Hartley would have none of it. "Pish and tosh" he exclaimed. I am merely examining the local actions and mores from a close angle. Besides, even you can admit that... well..." At this point he merely motioned toward the blonde girl and tailed off. I watched her taunt a large and unknown species of butterfly between her hands, and thought it best that Hartley had tailed off.
---
We have been accosted by a dragon! A large, painted lizard of untold size came rushing from the woods and attacked the herd of herbivorous reptiles a little way down the valley, before dragging the carcase of one of the unfortunate, fat little creatures through our very camp! I admit, I held Hartley a little closer than necessary - he is so very strong and sturdy, after all. Perhaps I might have embraced him out of relief afterwards - out of relief, I pray you'll understand, at our survival. Day-Sah merely scowled in our direction and slunk back towards the hillock's thicket. What a strange land we are caught in...
*Seventh in the Hartley Campagnan series, in between Hartley Campagnan and the Columbian Caves and Hartley Campagnan: A Mission in Microscopy
McTaggart:
This is pretty excellent. If you are still doing these I would like to comission a play. Or a part of a play. A tragedy/comedy* of a selfish rich merchant, the merchant's beautiful daughter and those trying to win the favor of either. If you don't want to write a play then that is ok.
*decided by coin toss
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