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Attention! Fiction!
KvP:
--- Quote from: Elizzybeth on 04 Mar 2008, 02:31 ---
--- Quote from: Kid van Pervert on 03 Mar 2008, 23:13 ---Election Costs
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Well done :)
Boro_Bandito:
I am joining in on this. I'd like to write a little short for someone else, but I'd also like one of the writers to do one for me.
A Comedy about College Bio Class, meiosis, and sexual tension
Tactical Error:
I'd like a ghost story involving a programmer, a cowboy hat, and a stuffed tiger.
singeivoire:
--- Quote from: Boro_Bandito on 04 Mar 2008, 13:06 ---Blobology
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“I think my brain is beginning to liquefy and drip out on to my notes.” Jarrett Miller leans over to me and whispers this in my ear so I get gooseflesh all down my neck. The delicious chill settles in my nipples as I give his notes a perfunctory look.
“I’m pretty sure that’s just drool, Jerry.”
“Aw, now that’s not nice. Can I help it if I was born with dribble-prone lips?”
“Shhhh – I’m trying to pay attention!” It’s an out and out lie. Dr. Dixon - affectionately known as Dr. Dickwad to anyone who can’t dodge his section of BIO1001 - lost me about 45 minutes ago.
I’m sitting in the upper echelons of The Amphitheatre, or Faculty Hall Room 110, staring down upon endless rows of undergrads – most dozing, some furiously taking notes. Give it up, folks, it’s hopeless. Dr. Dickwad is pointing at a picture of a blob which is projected on the screen at the front of the room. I can’t distinguish it from all the other blobs he’s shown us over the last month and a half. Blobs with tentacles. Blobs with eight-syllable names. Blobs in flowcharts. Blobs beget blobs beget blobs. Biology was no where near this bad in high school.
Jarrett Miller, my roommate’s boyfriend, is a lot more interesting.
“D’ya think if we, like, acted out what he was talking about, it would make more sense?” He’s whispering at me again. I try to focus on the notebook paper in front of me only to find that my handwriting has been drifting free of its moorings on the lined sheet. May as well just give up and flirt.
“Heh, it’s worth a try – except I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Okay, well I’ll be the blob on the right…” He then proceeds to make a show of fixing his attention on Dickwad. He forms a pulsating spheroid with his enterlacing fingers and even provides blurping sound effects with those gorgeous “dribble-lips” of his.
I watch him listening to Dickwad’s drone with half an ear. “Meiosis, not to be confused with Miosis or Mitosis, is the process by which one diploid eukaryotic cell divides…”
(Bloop-blurrp-blup, Jarrett’s fingers wiggle apart)
“ …twice to generate four haploid cells….”
(‘Shit, we need four – you have to do it too…’ he gestures to my fingers. I obediently blurp as well.)
“…The result is the formation of gametes….”
(We both hold up our hands triumphantly.)
“… in turn, two gametes from different sources may join to form a new diploid germ cell…”
(We fumble around for one another’s hands, forming a new blurping blob. The giggles are getting pretty furious at this point.)
“… this is the essential process by which all eukaryotic sexual reproduction takes place.”
I gaze, horror-stricken, for a moment at the blob of hands between us, certain that I must be turning purple. Jarrett is looking at the hands too. I think we’re both too shocked to pull away just then.
God, he’s leaning in to whisper in my ear again. He’s getting closer – closer…
“Sweetie – it’s a girl!”
****************
That may be the silliest thing I've ever written.
öde:
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