Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
How did the QC universe get so different from ours?
Surgoshan:
That was an excellent alternate history.
One quibble: How is it that Al Gore caused an argument amongst the bin Ladins in 1990 that led to Osama spending several years getting a degree and a talk show that culminated in an anti-Saddam campaign iin 1989?
ByronOrpheus:
--- Quote from: Surgoshan on 05 Nov 2008, 19:14 ---That was an excellent alternate history.
One quibble: How is it that Al Gore caused an argument amongst the bin Ladins in 1990 that led to Osama spending several years getting a degree and a talk show that culminated in an anti-Saddam campaign iin 1989?
--- End quote ---
That brings us to stage two. As we know, Al Gore is responsible for protecting the time-space continuum. Traditionally this has been responsibility of the Vice President. Due to abuse of power during the Eisenhower administration, the Supreme Court ruled in Lifeson vs Lee (1962) that Senator Al Gore would hold the power in trust until 2112. As such, Gore was empowered to make repairs to the timeline as he saw fit.
A side effect of the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in 1936 was the temporal displacement of a section of desert connected by a ley line to the island where the Ark was opened. In this section time moved several times slower than normal, making it the ideal place for research. A project that would normally take ten years could be completed in less than one, allowing the 126-year recording session for Chinese Democracy to be completed in a mere 13 years. Gore, knowing Osama's nuclear ambitions and his hatred of the west, realized that should Osama become aware of the time oasis he would inevitably locate his nuclear program there. By causing the argument in 1990, Gore was able to arrange to dissuade bin Laden from his original plans, then offer the oasis as an effective shortcut.
Gore offered bin Laden a chance to earn the degree in a few months of realtime by using the Oasis. Then, to cement the lesson Salem bin Laden had given his brother, Gore arranged to have a few grams of plutonium and several tons of TNT smuggled into the Oasis. Gore exploded the bomb in the middle afternoon prayers and immediately ran to Osama's study "to make sure he was OK". Gore then explained that another party had been doing surreptitious nuclear research and failed to account for the time/space changes. This, he explained, was why the US was so secretive about nuclear technology: it was far less straightforward than people were led to believe and caused massive disruptions in time and space. Gore went on to tell Osama that the relatively small explosion had flung them backwards in time to 1982. This, he went on to say, was one of the reasons for the media culture of the "decadent west"; they needed to distract the population at large in such a way that people's sense of time was unreliable in order to mask the ongoing corrections to the flow of time made necessary by the Trinity, Nagasaki, and Hiroshima bombs. Osama, caught off guard by the explosion, the kindness of the seemingly-robotic Al Gore, and a small dose of X slipped into his morning tea fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Al was then able to bring bin Laden back to 1982 and enroll him in journalism school.
Is it cold in here?:
Wow. I'm impressed.
Mad Cat:
Wizards, sorcerers, and magicians. None of you know how to tinker with super-science. *shakes head*
--- Quote ---A side effect of the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in 1936 was the temporal displacement of a section of desert connected by a ley line to the island where the Ark was opened. In this section time moved several times slower than normal, making it the ideal place for research. A project that would normally take ten years could be completed in less than one,
--- End quote ---
If the time stream on the island moves slower than normal, then experiments on the island also move slower than normal. An experiment requiring ten years to perform, if performed on the island, would consume 100 years of time from the P.O.V. of an observer in the normal time flow. Which is good if you're a bored man of power looking to time travel into the future where your troubles can't follow you, like, say, Ted "It's Made of Tubes" Stevens, but crappy for any idea of time compression a la a DBZ training pod.
Which is actually an even better explanation for Chinese Democracy. A recording session that should have taken about 16 months ended up taking 13 years.
ByronOrpheus:
--- Quote from: Mad Cat on 07 Nov 2008, 05:11 ---If the time stream on the island moves slower than normal, then experiments on the island also move slower than normal. An experiment requiring ten years to perform, if performed on the island, would consume 100 years of time from the P.O.V. of an observer in the normal time flow.
--- End quote ---
Exactly! But if you're in the oasis that's linked to the island, the reverse is true. Why? Stage three. The ley line that connects the island to the oasis passes directly through the subterranean chamber where the Holy Grail lies, having fallen through a crevasse that formed in the floor of the Grail chamber when Elsa Schneider attempted to move the Grail past the Great Seal. This chamber, located in the Canyon of the Crescent Moon in Hatay (now part of Turkey) has qualities that focus the Grail's properties. The same forces that aged Walter Donovan hundreds of years in a matter of seconds by drinking from a false grail that had been stored near the true Grail affect the ley lines. The Grail's presence acts as a highly-localized source of temporal energy that affects the ley line in much the same way that a large mass can bend light. In this case the Grail warps the forces running along the ley line enough to reverse their effects, thus creating the ideal research environment for pretty much everything except physics. Unless you wear a dashing hat. Then you can get away with pretty much anything.
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