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What are/were your parents like?

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blaha 41:
Mine have been on my mind a great deal lately, and it's been making me wonder about how normal v. weird they were. I thought hearing about it from other people might be helpful/comforting/shocking. What were your parents like?

Mother: A chemical engineer whose affection was awkward to the point that hugs usually meant something was wrong. She wasn't a super genius, but she was intrepid in her approach to problems both intellectual and emotional. She didn't have any rules for the house, and instead chose to spoil us early in life and then verbally make us feel guilty about any pleasure we took from her spoiling... so much that my little brother has been known to return presents from family members to give the money back to the giver.

Father: supply chain/ 6 sigma guy who sends jobs to mexico/brazil for a living. he always wanted my little brother and I to excel at sports and anything macho, but neither of us turned out anything like that. He grew up working class, and my mom's father offered to buy her a house in exchange for not marrying my dad.

Yada yada yada...  Now I have almost all female friends and can't accept a romantic relationships with any woman/girl who likes me as a person instead of for my (non)accomplishments. I'm a "writer" now (and work an odd job to pay most of my bills), and I think i've let both of them down even though I despise what both of them imagined for me, and last summer my mom had a massive stroke after she told me she thought I was stupid for being anything but an investment banker... SWEET!

NarwhalSunshine:
My dad is/was a drill sergeant but he was gone most of the time until I was 14. He's tough on my brothers and me but anyone messes with his family and they are pretty much fucked. I can only remember three times he told me he loves me, when he left for Iraq, when he came home and once just randomly while we were watching tv.
My mom came from a rough family so she lets us get away with anything. She also won't leave the house or hang up the phone unless she's told us she loves us.

Uber Ritter:
Both of my parents have actually done a pretty good job, and I don't just say that because I'm egotistical.

Mom: Somewhat sensitive, socially anxious statistician that still dislikes contentious talk, yelling or argument of any kind.  Raising me was probably kinda hard as a result of the last one, but she did a pretty decent job, all things considered, a fact that I appreciate more as I mature.

Dad: Probably the most patient guy I know.  Never told us that he cared for us, didn't need to.  Dealt with two rather off-the-wall kids and a wife that was probably not the best equipped to be a mother to two off-the-wall kids.  He's probably given me my rather unconventional understanding of masculinity, since he's about as unaggressive and as nurturing a guy as can be imagined.  Works as an economist for the US Department of Housing and Urban Development. 

Because my mom is a statistician who mostly works in Econometrics, I like telling people that I was raised by two adepts in the Dismal Science.

Generally, both parents have refrained from passive-aggressive mindfucking, emotional outbursts, overly prescriptive expectations about career or marriage or whatever, etc., so I am rather unable to advise others on how to deal with their rather less fair-minded parental units.  Rather than giving me a universal respect for parents in general, having two decent ones have made me rather frustrated with less than perfect ones and not really seeing why children owe such fathers and mothers filial obligations (as Locke says with such impious logic, children are obliged to love their parents in proportion to how well their parents have treated them).  It has also made me wonder if I'd be able to actually be a good father (compared to my own) and thus whether I should have kids.

KvP:
I think my parents did their damnedest, which isn't to say they always made the right choices, but they always had the best of intentions. When I was younger, I really resented them, but that was just youth. I'm getting older now and like a lot of people I know, I'm appreciating my parents more and more every day. It helps that they continue to support me, and from the sound of it, they don't plan on stopping anytime soon so long as I continue to put effort into school.

Mom's from Mississippi, other people seem to think she's easygoing but she was always pretty imperious when I was a kid. I clashed with her a lot, obviously. Used to be a nurse, retired to raise my brother and I. Now that my brother's growing into high school age she'll probably start volunteering at homeless shelters in Denver.

Dad's a doctor, a rheumatologist, to be specific. He's a quiet sort of person. I don't know all that much about him, really, which sort of bothers me. It's only been recently that I've realized how alike we are in some ways. We have the same mannerisms and we're both not very social, but he's obviously a much, much more dedicated person than I am. Probably came with growing up without a father.

thegreatbuddha:
My mother works as a psychologist, but she mostly just tries to use my sister and I to antagonize my father. They've been divorced for two decades or so, and as far as I can tell her driving goal in life is still to cause him as much pain as possible. The woman saw me as a tool to hurt her ex-husband with, and a monthly paycheck. I haven't spoken to her since I was emancipated, and don't plan on seeing her until her funeral, just to make sure she's not fucking with me.

My father is a better parent by comparison. Not really his fault I suppose, but he was never around when I was young. He tried to be, but my mother would block visitation every chance she got. We see each other more now that I'm an adult, bu we're not really close. I honestly feel sorry for the man, getting robbed out of being there for his children. I suspect he's a little off his rocker. If he misses a traffic light, he's been known to yell at Jesus about it.

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