Fun Stuff > MAKE
Strip try #2 Updated
Joim:
--- Quote from: Anyways on 28 May 2008, 15:20 ---Get rid of her gat dam cheeks! They look swollen.
Also, you might not want to steal Penny Arcade-Gabe's t-shirt design.
--- End quote ---
I tend to draw that way girls, dunno why, I will work on it :P
Also, I had no idea that there was a character that used that design of t-shirt, I read few comics :|
--- Quote from: Dissy on 28 May 2008, 17:00 ---"Got Fire"? How about "Got a Light?"
--- End quote ---
I will change it if that's the english word for asking a lighter, I just had no idea of how to translate it :P
--- Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 28 May 2008, 21:15 ---Well I'm not saying MS Paint just blows chunks, it's just that OP is not taking enough effort to make it look good, and I understand that this takes infuriating amounts of time, so drawing it seems more simple (and it would also allow for more stylistic touches.)
--- End quote ---
Well, I like a lot Paint style, and I preffer to work onto it a bit more, since for me drawing and scanning or getting a tablet is quite more messy and difficult :P I have got no clue on using chinese ink or whatever, just pencil & pen.
I will try to re-do the drawing, adding more detail, background and shades, and why not, colour. Will update this once I'm done.
Thanks for the feedback!
0bsessions:
This may sound rude, but I think you should consider either leaving it in your native language or getting a single person who is specifically fluent with English to translate them for you. As it stands, you're running the risk of the thing being more entertaining for the broken English than the actual content of the comic.
Joim:
Would you mind telling me what's that wrong with my english? I knew spanish education sucked big time, but unless internet slang really got me in the wrong way, I used to have a 10/10 in exams :/
Also, our english subject is just about british english, and I could be messing with british/american english due to internet too...
benji:
The middle panel in the first comic has a few grammar problems. It should be something like "don't you think you could be doing something more productive, like hanging out with friends, instead of making people hate you by nonsensically insulting everyone?"
In the last one, "do you have a light?" or "have you got a light?" would both work. I would also say you should change it to "he already has a girlfriend, bitch!" That might just be me; I don't like the word "got" unless absolutely necessary.
I don't know if you need an actual translator, or just an English language editor. You're getting pretty close on your own, but a native English speaker would probably be able to fix little things and make sure the grammar and slang are appropriate.
Joim:
I see, the you'd was for "you could", but your sentence version is quite better!
My main problem is that I don't check what I write, should do it more often, even when I want I forget about it :P
I will change the sentences, thank you :)
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