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Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable
pwhodges:
A good hard look might reveal that they (the parents) could do with the therapy to help enable them to handle their responsibilities in bringing up children. Children are not just a lifestyle choice.
Emaline:
--- Quote from: jmrz on 24 Nov 2008, 01:37 ---I can't get the original thing I wanted now anyway because he knows what it is. So I think I might just get a bunch of awesome stuff and wrap it all up in a big box and he'll have lots of things to investigate/play with on Christmas Day.
I dunno, I just love buying the perfect presents for people and seeing how happy they are with it.
For reference: I was going to buy him this: http://www.gadgetizer.com/2005/09/27/homestar-planetarium/
--- End quote ---
Ummm....
Hey! I have an idea! I will just be your boyfriend for Christmas, and you can buy me that! That would be a hella awesome gift.
Elizzybeth:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 24 Nov 2008, 02:26 ---A good hard look might reveal that they (the parents) could do with the therapy to help enable them to handle their responsibilities in bringing up children. Children are not just a lifestyle choice.
--- End quote ---
I definitely agree with your latter point, but any real therapeutic regimen would involve both individual and family therapy. I don't see where encouraging children to be open about their feelings and challenges is perpetuating the "children as a lifestyle choice" mindset. In fact, isn't realizing that a child as young as 8 is capable of emotion and hurt feelings--and even more serious problems, such as depression and anxiety disorders--part of accepting one's parenting responsibilities?
pwhodges:
My parents dealt with my emotions and hurt feelings, and I dealt with my children's; and sometimes what was needed was being left to sort it out rather than intervention. Granted that children can have more serious problems that do need treatment - but I feel that many (most?) of these instances arise from earlier inadequate parenting and/or lazy diagnosis. OK, when things get really bad they need dealing with; but how much better it would be not to reach that point.
--- Quote from: Elizzybeth on 24 Nov 2008, 02:46 ---encouraging children to be open about their feelings and challenges
--- End quote ---
This need not lead to therapy. I suppose the parents that go that way can't or don't want to handle the feelings their children need to express! Hence my remark about lifestyle choice...
mooface:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 24 Nov 2008, 01:51 ---I mean, what are parents for? How can they be so blind to what are surely (in nearly all cases) simply their failings?
--- End quote ---
i have to say that, from personal experience, i agree with you. my parents are kind of insane, and do and say a lot of crazy things. when i hit my teenage years we would constantly get into really awful arguments, which were directly caused by their lack of control. their response was to trick me into going to see a therapist, who at the end of each session would be disappointed in not having diagnosed me "yet". after a few sessions she diagnosed me with "adhd and depression" and prescribed some pills.
through the whole time my parents placed the entire blame for my behavior on me, deciding that the reason for our bad relationship must be that i had some sort of insanity. they refused to ever have a conversation with me about it or stop to think that maybe they were partially responsible. they forced me to take the medicine despite my protests (i would pretend to take it and then spit it out) and considered the problem solved - i never even went back to therapy after that.
buuuut on the other hand i have really awful parents and actually don't think it's totally ridiculous to send a child to therapy if it's done right. if parents realize that they are not up to the task by themselves and participate in family counseling, then i think it's a good thing. it's just important that the parents are involved and don't just rely on someone else to solve their problems for them.
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