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Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable

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mberan42:
Risk and Zombies!!!

Alex C:
So, today I got to hear the story about the time my grandfather briefly considered drowning a lifeguard.

Apparently one summer my grandparents took their 8 children to the beach. The two eldest boys (15 and 17 respectively) were instructed to help keep an eye on the younger children and not swim out too far. Of course, being irresponsible idiots, they swam out pretty far anyway and my uncle Steven, who was 11 and a poor swimmer tried to follow them. Eventually Steven hit a rip tide and would have been in real trouble if not for the fact that my grandfather had been following his sons almost immediately after they took off (probably to threaten to drown them himself for blatantly disobeying him, but that's rather beside the point) and started hauling Steven to safety. Of course, Steven was frantic and clinging to my grandfather's limbs, so my grandfather ended up stopping at a buoy halfway to give Steven something other than his arms to hang onto for a moment. This was about the time the lifeguard finally arose from his blanket and started yelling through a megaphone to get off the damned buoy because that is totally against the rules. He apparently continued to berate them the entire time they were swimming back.

Inlander:
So I had my ears syringed this morning. I'd had a lot of ringing in my ears, and I'd been having difficulty making out words when people were speaking to me, and I thought my ears were probably just blocked up, but when I went to my doctor (who's a good doctor) he gave me a referral and told me to book myself in for a hearing test. I did that, but the guy at the hearing-test place told me that before I had a hearing test I should go back to my doctor and get my ears syringed. So I did that this morning. Suddenly the world seems to have a lot more sibilants in it. It's disconcerting.

Also, I had my E.C.G. and that was more-or-less normal, but apparently the electrical impulses that control my heart are having difficulty getting through to one side of my heart. So now I have to wear a heart monitor and hope that in the 24 hours I'm wearing it my heart goes THBBBBPPPPPPPPTTTTT, which it does sometimes and which prompted this whole doctor-E.C.G.-heart monitor thing in the first place.

But the doctor still says it's very minor and probably nothing to worry about.

nobo:
What does it mean to get your ears syringed? did you have fluid built up that needed to be removed?

Inlander:
No, wax build-up. The doctor gets a huge metal syringe (like the ones you see in horror movies that are meant to symbolise "BIG EVIL FUCKING CRAZY SYRINGE MAN"), only instead of being pointy it's pretty large-bore. The doctor fills the syringe up with water, gets you to hold a small surgical basin under your ear, sticks the syringe in your ear and basically squirts all the water in there. The water builds up pressure against your ear-drum, which forces the wax out. Then the doctor give you a tissue and tells you to tip the water out of your ear.

It feels rather like having a high-pressure hose blasted directly into your ear. Because I guess that's basically what it is.

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