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The Kenny

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blanktom:
Just Better: Drinking spring water...straight from the spring
Just Worse: Drinking Coca Cola's new water product...finding out it is purified tap water

Kenny: Herpes

Slick:
Just Better: Jock itch
Just Worse: Itchy jocks on your jock

The Kenny: GRYFF

Sox:
Just better: Walking past a cash machine and finding a £50 note hanging out of it.
Just worse: Having to chase a stray £50 note several yards down the street in the wind before you can pocket it.

The Kenny: Finding £50 hanging in a cash machine and pocketing it.

Tom:
Just Better: Not having any one you see/take notice of you doing it
Just Worse: Having a security guard/officer who has just found out that his wife of 10 years has just left him with her autistic child from a previous marriage and run off with Rosie O'Donnell catch you while he's on his ciggy break that he's been waiting 6 hours for.

Kenny: argyria

pwhodges:
Just Better: Jaundice
Just Worse: Arsenic Poisoning

The Kenny:  Free Jazz

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