Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Godawful products that you've seen for sale
tania:
nothing i have seen so far tops this:
it's a popcorn bowl that comes with a basketball net, cup and remote control holder, and popcorn launcher. the idea is that while you're watching tv you also try to flick popcorn into the basketball net or make a huge stupid mess or whatever the main intent is. i saw this for sale in a store last christmas and almost bought it right there because i knew from that moment on i'd constantly bring it up in conversation and wouldn't have any proof that it did in fact exist. the fact that the cup holder was also described in the store as a "beer can holder" only caused more anxiety because i had assumed this would be for children or something, but no it's apparantly for adults. as if watching television isn't entertaining enough, you have to flick fucking popcorn all over the place while you're doing it too? shit like this is why people don't have attention spans anymore.
Ladybug:
Haha, that website is awesome.
Knee protector, so that you can finally sleep on your side without having your knees chafe against each other! I could've understood if they marketed it as, say, something to protect your knees when gardening or something, but nope, it's meant for sleeping.
Blinds cleaner! Because using a duster obviously won't do it.
Cartilage Head:
Cell phones for dogs.
tania:
skymall has some amazing stuff too, but because there are hundreds of products on their website and you have to sift through a lot of things that are only kind of stupid i'll just post some of my favourites.
the clock that tells you only what day it is.
the sumo wrestler table that is kind of inappropriate and upsetting and makes you look like maybe there are some things people don't know about you, you know, sexually.
the toaster that can only burn really tacky holiday images into your toast and do absolutely nothing else.
this thing is not only an encyclopedia but asks you questions, like what you like and don't like, and also stores your friends' phone numbers and i think maybe it calls them sometimes. it's really just every definition of the word freaky.
this stuff is all really expensive too. like, every item in this magazine was way more expensive than i would have expected, much less been willing to ever pay. the toaster is something like $60 american. in order to make a profit and be able to charge prices like this, somebody's got to be buying this stuff. the question is who are they? once you start thinking about it you can't stop. you don't know who you're going to suddenly meet who seems really normal at first and then ends up having that toaster in their kitchen.
Ladybug:
That table is fantastic.
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