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a hypothesis

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tuna ketchup x:

--- Quote from: britMonster on 29 Aug 2008, 10:35 ---Isn't 2/3rds of the population female?

--- End quote ---

Is this a joke?

Anyway, my beef is that Rocketman and others said "girls are scary," not "in general I feel quite anxious around people which includes girls." Saying later on that "well I'm scared of everyone not just females," well, kinda feels like a backpedal. And yeah in my opinion it is a form of misogyny to lump all women together and ascribe a certain epithet to them (scary, gossipy, shallow, what have you). Gender is only one PART of a human being and to reduce someone to "girl" instead of seeing them as a person is kinda wrong, IMO.

There are other places to meet people (which includes the subset of "girls") besides a bar or club. Most of the really cool girls never set foot in a club; you'll catch us at the library, at a show, in a record store. And attraction is often based on mutual shared interests. So instead of "blargh! girl!" just see that PERSON as someone who, I don't know, is checking out a CD of a band you like. Talk to that person about said band. That is how connections start not with hokey pick up lines at a skeezy club.


--- Quote ---So if it's really easy for you, and you think an interesting guy is just being a wuss and not asking you, why don't you ask him?
--- End quote ---

It's far from "easy" for me to ask people out, but I have initiated most of my dates. Of course, they were with guys who were friends first, so I already knew them and knew they were cool. So maybe you all should try making friends first, dates second. After all your SO is supposed to be your friend too (usually your BEST friend), not just the "girl you're dating." Advice from a serial monogamist.

Border Reiver:
Yes, but the scary part is fear of rejection, and if I'm understanding Rocketman, he's not afraid of being rejected by males.

I trust that you are a healthy, well adjusted individual with no hangups and are thus able to pass judgement.

tuna ketchup x:

--- Quote from: Border Reiver on 29 Aug 2008, 11:13 ---I trust that you are a healthy, well adjusted individual with no hangups and are thus able to pass judgement.

--- End quote ---

Yes I am 100% perfect in every way.


--- Quote from: Anyways ---"Nice guy misogyny" I actually find blatantly offensive. Because I don't have experience or knowledge about how to talk to girls, I'm a misogynist? Fuck that! I respect women and so get nervous around them because I don't know how to talk of them yet have a genetic imperative to do so, if you have a problem with that, then seriously, fuck you too.
--- End quote ---

When you respect someone too much to speak to them, that's not respect any more. It's cowardice.

And most of the lady friends I have are just as much into physical jokes as well as "male" things like video games, raunchy humor, not being "ladylike." Then again most of my platonic friends ARE guys, so, maybe it's just an abnormal crowd? Shit, I don't know. I do know that for whatever reason I don't care for most of my guy friends' girlfriends, largely because they do act too much like ladies. But yeah that's an example of how women are PEOPLE and some of us don't want that whole pedestal respect thing. We want to be treated as equals. I say fuck you to anyone who does think they deserve to be placed upon a pedestal by their preferred sex, male or female.

tomselleck69:
my favorites are the guys who affect traditional chivalry when interacting with women

tuna ketchup x:

--- Quote from: Anyways on 29 Aug 2008, 11:49 ---I don't know what to say. That is it! I'm not crippled by fear at the prospect of going over and talking to a girl, I just don't know what to do. I am bad at small talk. That is my problem.

--- End quote ---

That's why it's important to find common ground, whether it's in music or video games or books or whatever. So that you have something to talk about. Which is also why it's a good idea to date your friends because then you can just slide into a relationship without any of that "getting to know you" crap. I am horrible with small talk which is why I suck at working and at making new friendships (I've always just kind of fallen into a scene, and then it's too late to get out), but again, talking about a book with someone, even a stranger, is a lot easier than talking about, like, the weather or her pretty dress.

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