Fun Stuff > BAND
Review cliches (buzzwords)
Harun:
"indie"
"good"
"amazing"
"wonderful"
_yoda:
"muscular"
silly band comparisons like "radiohead", "beatles", etc
and of course, the ever-ridiculous "blips", "bleeps" and "bloops"
but what about jaw-droppingly cringeworthy reviews?
ones like this:
--- Quote ---A lazy disco light spilled artificial constellations inside the aluminum cove of the makeshift stage. The metal skeleton of the stage ate one end of Florence's Piazza Santa Croce, on the steps of the Santa Croce Cathedral. Michelangelo's bones and cobblestone laid beneath. I stared entranced, soaking in Radiohead's new material, chiseling each sound into the best functioning parts of my brain which would be the only sound system for the material for months.
The butterscotch lamps along the walls of the tight city square bled upward into the cobalt sky, which seemed as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap.
--- End quote ---
from Pitchfork's Kid A review http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/21226-radiohead-kid-a
perfect as a wizard's cap ... what the hell?
Thrillho:
Pitchfork have done much worse reviews than that.
Check out their reviews of the Imagine reissue, or The Eminem Show. Fucking terrible.
My personal favourite is the review of that album by Flaming Lips that has four discs. The review is basically one long 'my vagina hurts' rant because the reviewer in question only has one CD player that barely works.
Boo fucking hoo, then why are you reviewing it? Give it to someone else, borrow some other CD players, go to a buddy's house. The point is, the guy DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE FUCKING ALBUM.
It's not a phrase, but my personal pet peeve in reviews is when the reviewer refers to themselves specifically, as above.
theoryC:
Because wizard's caps have star patterns on them, so that part makes sense. That is a pretty horrible review though.
I do not enjoy it when reviewers open a review with some random topic that has nothing to do with the music they're reviewing, and then try and transition into the music from the unrelated/unimportant topic. I know it makes reviewers feel all intellectual, but reviews exist to save us time, not waste it.
Obviously p4k is a primary culprit.
Christophe:
--- Quote from: David_Dovey on 23 Nov 2008, 22:15 ---
--- Quote from: KvP on 23 Nov 2008, 13:14 ---"jangly"
--- End quote ---
and
--- Quote from: michaelicious on 23 Nov 2008, 12:04 ---angular
--- End quote ---
--- End quote ---
Jangular?
In any case, I've always interpreted "angular" as having to do with chord progessions or guitar lines that are dissonant (there's another buzzword) or otherwise simply untraditional. It describes a lot of my favorite bands, but it also describes a bunch of shitty ones.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version