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Hey there, stranger.
evernew:
Hi Mr. Darryl,
please find enclosed the latest diatribe of yours truly, me.
:-D :-D :-D EVERNEW :-D :-D :-D
or
Nobody Prepared You For Gym Class - The Recent Past of Jonas
Warning: The post below is quite long. That's why I made the print slightly smaller so it is not quite as long.
For the tl;dr crowd (and everybody else because these details will not be repeated later, kids):
I am 22, studied business administration in which I got my MEISTERs degree (oh yeah I'm German and toy with the stereotypes),
am now getting ready for (read: slacking off until) my first real job as a strategy consultant and have on more than one occasion been described as both a "cool guy" and an "asshole".
But that's not the story here.
This is.
The year is 1994 and I just skipped a grade in elementary school.
This sentence works as an introduction to anything written about me because everything that happened after it is a direct or indirect consequence.
So hi, I'm Jonas, ~65 kg (on the way up, usually not so much), dark blonde hair (presently very short, usually not so much), from Germany.
Boring facts are boring.
1999. So this one day I go to gym class at my new high school after moving halfway across Germany and the hapless little smart-ass that I am, I already made enemies.
That is, the bully population of my class was hot on my trail.
The end of the story was that my athletics shoes are stuck in the net of a basket. Basketball basket? That.
Luckily, not everybody in my high school class was a bully. I fell in with a group of nerds and we had great times playing card games between class, playing computer games on the weekend, going to shows once we got older and every once in a while we even went to a party that wasn't preceded by the words "LAN".
And life was good. Not great, not too bad, mostly so-so.
Fast forward to 2004. Graduation from high school. Through tedious work, I got out of the nerd corner. (blatant lie)
I am still a nerd.
But on top of being in the school orchestra (the European equivalent of being a band geek),
editing the freshly-started school zine (more classic nerdery here) and
pursuing my other nerdy pastimes I also have
- a band (we play punk and suck but hey, I'm not asking for much at this stage)
- girls (mostly just one but sometimes there is overlap which makes me feel really cool)
- a spot in a good university.
Summer 2004 was my cocoon stage. In as a caterpillar, out as a butterfly. At least that was the goal.
Have you ever tried to rid yourself of the shit which you feel is keeping you down?
Anyway, after graduation I decided not to let anyone ever decide for me who I was going to be.
So come freshman year at university, I'm a happy-go-lucky guy with a bad haircut and not a care in the world.
High school was, academically speaking, a breeze. Not so much socially.
University was the polar opposite. I made friends quickly but barely skated by in exams.
A low point was reached when I failed Introduction to Math ... or math for morons.
On the flipside, after being out of high school for half a year, I finally got the girl. You know, the one girl you always liked but could never have.
So I had a girl, studied more, drank a lot, travelled, did some internships, travelled some more and whoops where did the time go it is 2008.
I hand in my thesis, move out of my flat and prepare our ambulances for a 7,000-km trip through Eastern Europe, Turkey and Iran.
The trip is fucking gorgeous. Three weeks of trucking, hanging out with our awesome group and reminiscing.
Then I go back home, find a job, decide to travel the world and have to go home yet again because of an accident.
If you read this far, chances are you either forgot about the introduction or couldn't care less.
I'll tell you anyway.
The smart-ass-itude, going from the top in high school to the bottom in university, being so hung up about girls and others, ...
it all goes back to me being the youngest kid in most social contexts I can remember. Imagine being the youngest sibling to 100 people.
This fueled my need, drive, urge, obsession etc. to prove people how cool, mature, grown-up, un-childish I was until I was about 21.
If everybody looks down on you, the one thing you want the most is just to be equal for once.
After high school I had sort of and after uni I had definitely reached that point.
So now I'm pretty happy.
But who am I now?
Jonas the musician ... I learned to play the piano and the cello and taught myself guitar, bass, percussion, a little bit of drums and the ukulele. Love listening to Sublime, RATM and selected bits of "adult contemporary pop" and rap which I pull out of the Mediaf!re thread. Also, my last successful music project was an acoustic band in which I played the cello and sang.
Jonas the incapable artist ... I like comics, writing, reading, all of it. But I can't draw. Really like reading old French comic books (Asterix, Lucky Luke, fighter pilots stuff) and am currently writing short stories. Two to be precise. One I came up with on acid, the other one I didn't.
Jonas the career man ... in November, after six tedious interviews, I got a call from a company that put an end to the awkward dating dance stage of relationships. It was a little bit first kiss and a little bit take your top off. I have a good job now. And if you didn't get the comparison, getting a job is like flirting.
Jonas the nerd ... 4 LYFE YO! Computer games, Scrabble, gadgets, yada yada, I'm a nerd. Yeah.
Jonas the smart-ass. That will probably never change.
Jonas the slacker. This one will definitely not change until I have more responsibility than over myself.
Jonas the everything else ... I longboard, I snowboard and I still like basketball, shoe incident nonwithstanding.
Sometimes I like to smoke pot, go to art galleries, put on my headphones, set the tunes to shuffle and just wander between exhibits. Sometimes a song will just "click" with a painting or a photo. Try it, it's a lot of fun.
What am I not?
Jonas the ladies' man? ... the girls are gone, most of my friends have moved away for their jobs or straight up abandoned me.
Jonas the insecure ... I have come to peace with myself. This is something most people will say about themselves when they are about to croak, I know.
But I'm not insecure anymore. I'm happy. 'Cause I got myself to this place and nobody else.
David_Dovey:
Hey if someone wants to make a better post about me than the one I am about to do I will totally give them $10 (Australian)
Darryl, forum,
My name is David Anthony Dovey- most folks refer to me by my last name- and I am 22 year old male from Perth, Western Australia. It totally surprises me that I am older than a fair share of you guys because it seems that you all lead way more interesting, adult lives than me. Even the whiny teenagers.
It says on my diploma that I am a sound engineer but for the most part I do menial and repetitive jobs in offices. The upside of this is that I have a lot of free time on my hands and I put it to good use arguing about bullshit on the Internet, or thinking about the bullshit I want to argue about on the Internet. Compared to most people I know in meat life I am an intellectual type but my knowledge on almost every subject I care about is routinely put to shame every day by someone else, usually on this forum. I know a little about everything but not everything about anything. All of this means I tend to swing between insufferable arrogance and crippling feelings of inadequacy. Similarly I am completely shy and silent around people I do not know and an uncontrollable loudmouth around those I do. I try to talk like I am a cross between Roast Beef and T-Rex but I still haven't quite incorporated all of the vernacular into my everyday speech yet. I have to fight the urge to communicate entirely in image macros sometimes.
I more or less quit drinking about 8 months ago after realising that I wasn't enjoying the feeling of alcohol intoxication anymore, nor who I was when I was drunk. I wish I took other drugs more often but I have absolutely no contacts whatsoever.
I wear glasses but I do not really need them. I have a very weak astigmatism in my left eye that gives me headaches from reading or staring at a computer screen but other than that I see fine. I just prefer the way I, and pretty much everyone else, look in glasses. It is kind of my fetish I guess?
My dream job is to basically be Jon Stewart and get exorbitant amounts of money to yell at the T.V. news.
I am interested in nice clothing and if I had the money I would have no problems spending eleven thousand dollars on a pair of shoes or something. I do not have any money so mostly I wear webcomics shirts and jeans. I wish I lived in a colder climate so I could wear a suit more often.
I have six tattoos, all of them arguably stupid, depending on who you ask. They have more than once ignited internet debates (Sersious).
I would cut off all of the hair on my head if it meant I cold grow a decent beard.
I came to this forum as a metalhead type guy what with the long hair and the wearing the black and now I guess I am pretty much one of those hipster people they talk about?
I am travelling to Sydney in a couple of weeks to meet a fairly large percentage of the Australian forum people.
I hope to travel the world next year, hopefully meeting (and sleeping on the floors of) many of the people on this forum.
I know myself far too well to write one of these posts.
Liz:
Dovey you better be stopping in Fargo or there will be hell to pay.
Just sayin'.
David_Dovey:
Addendum: QC ladies seem to like me? I still find this inexplicable.
Liz I don't see why not. ( I will be travelling with my girlfriend though so forewarned)
tania:
if you decide to hit up toronto (and you should, lots of qc folks in this area!) and i have my own place by then you are of course more than welcome to stay on my floor. with any luck it'll be a guest bed and not a floor.
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