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Dire warnings of the apocalypse mistaken for prank

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Patrick:
My friends all think I'm crazy for wanting to buy a Glock .357, but they have no idea how serious this threat is.

Tyler:

--- Quote from: Cartilage Head on 31 Jan 2009, 15:32 ---

--- End quote ---

Post of the year.

Mr. Skawronska:
As a lurker/poster at Zombie Squad, America's Premier Mobile Cadaver Suppression Task Force, I can safely say that I and every level of membership of Zombie Squad is prepared at some level for the impending Zombie Apocalypse.

Admittedly, some of us are more prepared than others.

I myself consider myself an Armorer and a Medic.  I have a BoB, BoV, BoL, and I can instruct in those and other cool acronyms.  I know CPR, PALS, ACLS, PHTLS, AMLS, and a whole bunch of other letters put together in funny ways.  I know how to work on an AR-15, M-16, M-14, SU-16, Sub-2000, G17, G19, G26, G34, G37, P-11, PF-9, 24/7, 10/22, and a 1974 Pinto.  I can consistently my shot from a rifle at 50 yards with a quarter, and have enough ammunition to comfortably supply a rabid platoon of hyenas if they're not too choosy as to caliber.

the Zeds don't scare me;  I'm an expert -- we talk about this on Teh Intarweb!

Put the spotlight on 'em, and as Great Teacher Largo from Megatokyo says: ""GO FOR T3H H3DZ"

Now if you'll excuse me, "I GOTTA PICK UP A ZILL4 AND MORE DUCT TAPE"

S

Josefbugman:
Every day it just keeps on getting worse, the things are attacking us, even here, even here where we thought we were safe. They surround us, thousands upon thousands, maws open, hands outstreched in a vile parody of an embrace.

But we are humans, we are not going gently into this dark night. They tried to break through the doors again, the faster ones, the ones that lead them they came first, running up the closed gates and whispering, twelve of them died in 10 seconds. Then the slow ones came, a rushing horde of anger and moaning, they died too but we could afford to pick our shots, we thought that they were trying to build a ramp up to the ramparts with the dead. They hadn't counted on some well placed molotovs.

We have enough food to last for 3 months, after that I don't know, london has already fallen, 9 million people all of them dead and all of them making their way to us. I have heard nothing from the three other forts that make up the route, the lights are going out all over Europe and unlike our grandparents, who thought they would not be lit in their lifetime, these will simply never be lit.

Only so much can be done, already we have killed thousands, with booby traps, with staves, with bullets and with our bare hands if neccesary. Its not enough, nothing like enough. Then night falls and the whispering begins the tempting offers of sweet oblivion and peace. I saw a little girl, no older than 12 jump from the walls screaming to parents who were holding their hands up to her, I could not see what happened to her in the dark night, but the softest of sighs. I haven't told anyone, I don't think she was even missed.

Worry is set up over all of us like a miasma, too much too soon and there is no hope, how can we kill all of them? Forays into the wilderness have been met with gutted patrols and stronger whispers.

I will volunteer for the next patrol, and hope against hope that we can survive this assault on humanity.

Vae Victus- Woe to the vanquished

Spluff:
The only glock I would be using is this one.

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