Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Lines:
It's ok, I wouldn't be able to bone to bluegrass either. I like it, but it's not really the sexiest of music genres.
Barmymoo:
I believe, although I have not tested the theory, that Liz can bone to any music.
Guys, I have a question about relationships in the wider sense of the word (as in, I am talking about a friend rather than a romantic/love/sex interest).
I have a friend and she is very insecure and needy. This is an accepted and understood fact, and we've worked round it for the last year or so. We've always got on really well although at some point she has fallen out with each of our other friends over something very minor, and held a grudge about it for several weeks. I naively believed it wouldn't happen to me so it was a shock to get a very long text this morning accusing me of all kinds of friendship-neglect and dismissing her, etc etc. Her main complaint appears to be that I did not reply to her most recent text (this is true, it was an oversight which I've apologised for) and that I am happy that I got into Cambridge.
Leaving aside what seems to be a bit of a jealousy issue, I was wondering who you thought was in the wrong here. She's absolutely right that I haven't seen her much in the last few weeks, because I've been home for three days since July 21st. We did make plans to meet up when I got back from America (tentative plans months ago) but I was much too tired and had completely forgotten. I've apologised for that too. And she's right that I didn't speak to her much yesterday at the results day because I was so stressed and panicky and busy with trying to sort out what the hell was going on. But I feel like she's overreacting to something that really isn't a huge issue; other than yesterday, I had seen her most recently out of all my college friends. The only reason she didn't come out with us to celebrate our grades is that she lives about thirty miles away and has no car.
Whilst I can see her point of view, I feel as though her incredible insecurities are making her self-destructive. This isn't the first time she has accused someone of not being a good enough friend (and thereby ensured they are not her friend at all), so it isn't a personal slight to me. And in the interests of giving you the full picture, I do like hanging out with her and she can be very kind and is probably the most sympathetic friend I have when I need to cry on someone's shoulder, but her emotional issues and her rather judgemental attitude to life means she isn't really much fun to be with. My main concern is that I don't want to move away to uni knowing that I've left behind a smashed-up friendship, but I can't see us being best buddies forever once I lived three hundred miles away.
Tl;dr am I a bad friend or is she a bit melodramatic?
Lines:
She's a bit melodramatic.
Bastardous Bassist:
Have you ever told her that you think she might be a bit too much at times? That's a difficult thing to do, granted. She might realize that she's not being a great friend, or she might get really pissed off. You'd also have to phrase it really well. If you think it might work, it'd probably be worth it, but don't take my word for it. Wait for a few more opinions.
onewheelwizzard:
You're not a bad friend, and she is a bit melodramatic, but that's not that big a deal ultimately. Just do what you can and don't be offended when it's not enough for her. Sooner or later she'll figure out how to take care of herself to the extent that she won't need her friends to bend over backwards. That process isn't going to be helped if you let her push you to act out of frustration or spite (so remove yourself when she gets to be too much for you) but it's also not going to be helped if you refuse to do anything for her at all (so be the friend that you would want someone to be for you).
The distance issue is what it is. Don't sweat it too much.
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