Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Ozymandias:
--- Quote from: tania on 31 Aug 2009, 10:38 ---agreed. learning how to not be afraid to discuss anything with your partner coupled with being a good listener is like 98% of whether or not a relationship succeeds or fails, imo.
--- End quote ---
No okay listen guys, I'm going to be married within a year so let me explain how to make a relationship last.
1) If your partner wants to do something and you don't, do it anyway but act really put out by it. Let them know how much you're inconvenienced by them, but don't like...actually say it out loud. Just be sort of bitchy and grumpy about it, so you don't have to actually come to any discussion about it because that's awful. This goes double for sex. If you don't want to have sex just do it anyway, but be really pissed off about it and next time you want to have sex remember how pissed off you were and don't have sex. Just angrily masturbate to punish your partner. Remember: angry sex rocks and you want to keep that seething anger up!
2) Speaking of sex, keep a running tally of your orgasms vs. your partner's. Every so often, look at it and compare. If you have more, you're a selfish asshole and should feel really bad about it. Contribute more. If they have more, they're not keeping up their end of the deal and should be made to feel bad. See point 1 about angry sex. If they're equal, you have a perfect relationship and shouldn't do anything. Don't let your partner know you're keeping score. They'll try to mess it up.
3) Compromise your values to make your partner happy often. If they want a threesome, well you damn well better do it even if it hurts because this relationship is about making the other person happy, dammit. Remember point 1, though!
4) Keep conversation light and fluffy. Do not under any circumstances discuss things that may prove relevant to your own relationship. Okay topics include: the weather, reality TV, childrens' movies(steer clear of the topic of children!), Tommydski's cock(it is assumed you are not dating Tommydski).
5) Remember to always feel simultaneously at fault and angry at your partner. You both need to always working a lot harder to make this shit work or it'll just fall apart. If you find yourself relaxed and at peace with your relationship, it's about to go south.
Bastardous Bassist:
Oh King of Kings, we shall build a monument to your relationship knowledge. People shall look upon it and despair forever!
tania:
jordan's fiancee is the luckiest girl in the world
Lunchbox:
What if we have already discussed Tommydski's cock and are still okay
Masterbainter:
--- Quote from: Ozymandias on 31 Aug 2009, 16:07 ---
No okay listen guys, I'm going to be married within a year so let me explain how to make a relationship last.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
--- End quote ---
Finally the dating rules i've been looking for!
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