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Please, Just Let Me Die Already

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Hat:

--- Quote from: Jaclyn on 08 Sep 2009, 16:32 ---I'm in love with the Roland TB-303

--- End quote ---

homewrecker

Emaline:
Relationship Advice 101:

Lesson 1:

Never, ever, ever, ever assume anything.




Golem, I feel* that is was unfair of you to factor in what your girlfriend did before you guys were official into your relationship at the time. You guys weren't dating, and you had no "claim to her" as they say. Sure you were courting, canoodling, fucking around, what have you, but its unfair to assume that just because you want someone to be exclusive with you that they are going to be.



Jmrz, if he is not ready for a Serious Relationship right now, I don't think it'd be too horribly unfair for you to request that he not do what he is doing with you with anyone else. If you are comfortable with what you guys are doing, I wouldn't worry too much about the future. But you say you'd like to see him long term? Well, basically, you are going to have to talk to him. You're going to have to let him know how you feel about things. Find out why he is opposed to a serious relationship first, though.

Keep in mind that a lot of people get scared off when you keep bringing up "when are we gonna take things to the next level???" Maybe he just isn't ready for commitment. I'm not saying to super freak out about this, but just be prepared for negative reactions.

Or maybe he will be super relieved and say "I was waiting for you to say something! As soon as I said I wasn't ready for a serious relationship I realized I was! But felt silly and needy bringing it up again.





*"feel" - as in, this is my opinion.

Der Golem:

--- Quote from: Emaline on 09 Sep 2009, 12:30 ---Golem, I feel* that is was unfair of you to factor in what your girlfriend did before you guys were official into your relationship at the time. You guys weren't dating, and you had no "claim to her" as they say. Sure you were courting, canoodling, fucking around, what have you, but its unfair to assume that just because you want someone to be exclusive with you that they are going to be.
--- End quote ---

Not really gonna argue, but not everything we feel or do is entirely logical. Maybe it was more the being lied to about it several times and finding out the truth somewhere else? Anyways, I really would rather just have a talk than have something like that possibly weaken a potential future relationship again. I do think you made a good point about maybe having a "I would like this to be an exclusive thing" talk before/instead of the "Lets be Super Serious" talk.

Emaline:
Here we go. The epic battle of twisted meanings.

I'm saying, don't assume that someone you are courting/hanging out with/hanging on/hitting on/causually seeing/etc is exclusively seeing you. Its unfair to the other person.

When you are in a serious relationship, its fine to assume said partner is not sleeping with someone else, unless otherwise noted.

Early on, assumptions are bad. Later on, assumptions based in trust and knowledge are ok.


And Golem, I'm not saying I'm right and your wrong, or vice versa. And unless she out right said, "I'm not sleeping with anyone else" she didn't lie. I'm not saying she was right either. She wasn't entirely right, nor entirely wrong, though.

And I'm not saying what you did is bad. If you felt your trust was disobeyed, then what you did was right.

Emaline:
Also, opinions are neither right or wrong. They are just opinions.

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