Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
MrBlu:
--- Quote from: Emaline on 15 Mar 2009, 11:55 ---Dear Relationship Advice thread,
How do you make friends?
Thanks,
Emaline
--- End quote ---
Go to parties with current friends. Or so what I do. Hang around Universities. :|
Krina:
I would never dump somebody because they were hideously ugly. I don'T think I would even date them to begin with. I have this friend who I've had a thing for for years and when he finally was single and available and told me he was into me I couldn't even bring myself to touch him because I was grossed out by him. He's a fairly cool person, he just has poor personal hygiene. Like, he has the most amazing character which is probably what I was attracted to, but his teeth are yellow and he can't stop bitin his nails and he picks on himself all the time and cracks his knuckles and I wouldn't mind all of that at all if he could do it in private where I didn't have to see it, godamnit! I hope this doesn't make me a shallow bitch, but I'll risk that.
Anyhoo. Guys, can I ask some advice about a relationship question? I would really appreciate it because my situation is getting increasinly uncomfortable. it involves my flatmates though and I'm not sure if that counts. Advice would very much appreciated though. So I'm a girl, and I live in University halls in a flat with five other girls, none of whom I knew at all before we moved in together. There are three who behave like they are the bosses, and three "outsiders" one of which I am. Recently, the three bosses have really been going crazy. They put up these little notes, like instructions on how to do your dishes and stupid stuff like that. I mean, who do they think they are? I get along with the two other girls fairly well, they are my friends but sadly neither of them is home very much. So it's basically me against the three others. The situation is getting gradually worse, I really feel that they hate my guts. Why? because I'm different. I don't really know why. But whenever I come into the kitchen and they are there, it's incredibly uncomfortable. I'm really making an effort to be friendly, but they will barely say hello to me. They hold grudges for ages, too. I feel that they are punishing me for my life choiced and because I'm different. Yes, I like to have different boys over, so what? Apparently in their book, that makes me a slut who is best not talked to. They probably also notice that something is wrong with me, i.e. the bipolar thing, because I guess there is no way they coud NOT notice that. But coming clear about myself is out of the question, that is a fairly personal thing and I'll only tell that to people I like and who I feel comfortable with. I wouldn't want to give them any more ammunition against me. So maybe that makes them really insecure and they don't know how to treat me, but they don't ask me about it and instead choose to treat me with what I feel is contempt.
So I guess I have three options: a) Move the hell out. b) Ignore the narrow-minded prudes and let it be their problem. c) Try to make amends and improve the realtionship. I feel like I've attempted to do c) any number of times, but then I'll slip and a scruffy naked guy will walk from my room to the bathroom and one of them will see and be offended.
Sorry this is so longwinded. I guess I'm a little spaced out. All I want is to live with people who are open-minded and cool and around who I can just be myself and where I don't have to watch every goddamn step I make. Is that really too much to ask?
elizaknowswhatshesfor:
Krina:
I've been in this situation from both sides, on one hand I've lived with two people in long tearm relationships and I'd just had a marrige enulled and gone a bit ummmm. "wild". My housemates were none too chuffed with a parade of scruffy men either. But it was the not keeping the house clean they really hated and blamed the fact I always had someone over for this fact, not to mention two people make more mess than one.
I've also rented my spare room to a guy who brought horrible skanky girls home, he actually locked me out of my own sitting room/kitchen to fuck one of them VERY loudly. I threw him out after that. These girls were so nasty I started locking a lot of my things in my room, I was honestly worried about them being stolen, which sucked as I owned then house. He was my lodger.
From both of these I reallised: Living with other people can be hard.
My flat mates were sort of right, it can be a bit invasive if someone has people over all the time.
Notes are for assholes, conversations are for grown - ups. If people on reality shows can sit down and talk about stuff ANYONE CAN!
Living with people from the same social circle/lifestyle etc. is a very good idea (Unless they like boinking skanks.)
My taste in men is not as bad as I thought .
Move out, or go back to theirs! Hope that's even slightly helpful.
Krina:
It's not as if I have terrible guys over ALL THE TIME. I have someone over probably twice a week, and those are mostly the same two guys. My flatmates have people over all the time and they make terrible noise. I don't think it's offending to them that I have people over, because we all do that - and apart from maybe some sex-noise which is definitively not crazy loud, we keep fairly quiet. We are certainly not the people who hoover at 9 am on a Sunday or play annoying charts music really loud at night. I have the impresson that they feel offended because I have guys over. None of the three mean girls is seeing anyone and I think that maybe they are really only jealous. One of the other girls has a boyfriend, and they made really petty jokes about how that girl and her boyfriend don't need to go to the gym instead because they have sex instead. How narropw-minded is that, please? If someone has a good sex-life, they should be happy for her, right? And the other day I got bashed because I had been to loud at night, but they made a point that I was making the noise with someone else. The vibe I get from them is that they begrudge me that I have boys coming over. As far as I know, none of them has had a date all year and none of them is what you'd call attractive so my guess is that they're really jealous. Does that make sense?
All I want is live in peace here, I don't feel the need to make these people my friends but it would be nice if we could just be polite to each other and be a little more accepting.
Caleb:
--- Quote from: Emaline on 15 Mar 2009, 13:47 ---*people who work in a record store think I have strange tastes in music. I was talking about playing music for my plants and one person said "just make sure you don't play anything strange or scary." And I said "well, I mostly play for them whatever I've been listening to lately" and their response was "right. Don't play anything strange for them"
--- End quote ---
Wow. Do they think that the plants will turn evil and carnivorous or something?
I am stuck in a similar situation of being in a smaller town with no friends. Since I am 27 now I feel a bit strange trying to hang out with the college crowd. All my old college friends are back west in the bigger cities. I have been given the advice to try using the Internets to find people in my area but that has not worked. Perhaps it's best to try to go to big community events and try to mingle? I dunno.
If you happen to find a solution to this small town situation send me a note. It sounds like you are trying to keep yourself social. Keep it up.
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