Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Darkbluerabbit:
NQG: Others have made similar points, but I'd like to add my two cents. If your face becomes noticeably puffy after eating, you may legitimately have a medical issue. If you have been checked and have no allergies, then perhaps you are overestimating how obvious the change is to others. I've never noticed anyone get puffy after eating a reasonable amount of food. Maybe try avoiding high-sodium foods. They can actually make you bloat a little. Dairy and wheat can cause some bloating if you are allergic or averse.
I'd say that if you had luck finding a girl on the internet who was eager to deflower you, your best bet might be to try the internet again. Forums for things you are interested in would be a place, or heck, even a dating site. Some are better than others, many people join several just to increase their odds. OKCupid is pretty fun. I joined that just to take silly tests.
There's no need to try being something you're not, but it can be helpful in the long run to step outside your comfort zone once in a while. I used to think I hated clubs. I thought the music was awful and the strobe lights were annoying. Some friends dragged me out, and I actually had a pretty good time just dancing away. If I'd been unwilling to go, I'd have missed out on some fun. Keep your options open, and don't be afraid to try something even if you think you might not enjoy it. Don't head to the beach and risk your health, of course.
Yunior:
On my last date, I had dinner at a restaurant, played tennis at a nearby park around 9:00ish (this is a lot of fun when neither of you are no good at sports, don't do this if one of you is good or not willing to pretend they are bad, that is probably no fun) because dude had tennis rackets in his trunk, and then went home and played Wii at his place for a few hours (because the tennis courts closed at 10:00). I had a bunch of fun, and we didn't do anything particularly extravagant or anything. Dates are pretty formulaic, they should entail fun + getting to know you (maybe = kisses?).
I know movies are, like, so totally unoriginal or whatever, but I mean, come on, get over yourself. (Not you in particular, everyone in general. Everybody, get over yourselves.) I will admit, I am not particularly IMPRESSED by a movie date, but I am impressed by by someone who comes out of a theater with something to say. (I am not impressed with someone who has everything to say after a movie, nobody likes a culture snob. (Actually, some people like cultural snobs, usually other culture snobs.)) I'm hard-pressed to ENCOURAGE a movie date, but you just said that you really dig movies, so why don't you just see a movie or rent a movie or talk about movies? These things are not all that difficult, dude.
Good luck with sunlight!
NeverQuiteGoth:
--- Quote from: axerton on 27 Mar 2009, 06:53 --- you are however clearly not a 'normal' guy - not drinking alchol or coffee is acceptable, I don't drink either of these as well, but your aversion to sunlight definatly shunts you out of 'normal' and into, for want of a better term, 'batcave dweller' territory. I think the question you should be asking is "Where can I find a 'batcave dweller' girl?" because then dates will be easy, you simply do the things that you already like to do - assuming you like to do stuff apart from stay indoors all day and make machinima - only this time you have someone with you.
--- End quote ---
That would fall under shit stuff I already know.
--- Quote ---my answer to the qestion I suggest you ask is - I'm not sure, but I'll have a stab in the dark at the internet. go forth, swollow your pride and join a dating site. The demographic of girls your looking for is pretty small so you need as much help as you can get.
--- End quote ---
Oh I swallowed that bit of pride a LONG time ago. I've lost track of how many dating sites I've signed up for. They're all either complete bullshit or have exorbitant monthly fees that I can't afford. I've been going down that road for years now and haven't met even one person that way.
--- Quote from: Darkbluerabbit on 27 Mar 2009, 11:26 ---I'd say that if you had luck finding a girl on the internet who was eager to deflower you, your best bet might be to try the internet again. Forums for things you are interested in would be a place, or heck, even a dating site. Some are better than others, many people join several just to increase their odds. OKCupid is pretty fun. I joined that just to take silly tests.
--- End quote ---
That would fall under shit stuff I already do.
--- Quote ---There's no need to try being something you're not, but it can be helpful in the long run to step outside your comfort zone once in a while. I used to think I hated clubs. I thought the music was awful and the strobe lights were annoying. Some friends dragged me out, and I actually had a pretty good time just dancing away. If I'd been unwilling to go, I'd have missed out on some fun. Keep your options open, and don't be afraid to try something even if you think you might not enjoy it. Don't head to the beach and risk your health, of course.
--- End quote ---
My friends took me to a club in San Francisco a couple of times. It was fun, sort of, I danced 'n stuff, but a bit beyond the realm of my social abilities. I have that phobia, I forget what its called, but it basically means "fear of attention". Been working on that one a long time, and its gotten better but its a long way from gone; it makes that sort of environment very difficult to participate in. Plus the people for the most part seemed like the kind of people I would get sick of quickly.
Anyway, the point is that I am not unwilling. I do things whenever opportunities arise.
Lines:
I sincerely mean no offense whatsoever by this, but do you talk to a psychologist/psychiatrist/counselor at all? I mean, I honestly haven't the slightest clue about where to even start giving you pointers about how to improve your social life. From your posts, I think it's not all your quirks that are hindering your chances with the ladies, I think it's a social thing and I think talking to someone who knows how to help with social things would be beneficial. Or even to have someone who's very close to you IRL might be able to help. I don't think your questions are being answered as well as you want them to be here because no one here actually knows you.
As for what people mentioned about allergies, there are allergies to the sun, so no, I don't think you should be forced to do things in nature. But the food thing could be caused not by allergies at all but because of something causing your saliva glands to be blocked up. I don't know whether this is the case or not, but certain medications can cause you to be more sensitive to food and then in turn cause that. (It happened to my mom when she'd switched to a new prescription.) Mostly it is caused by salty foods, like someone said earlier, but then again it could be a minor allergy that's causing it. I can't remember if you said you'd been to an allergist or not, but since bodies change over time and you can develop allergies as you age, you should probably go again if you can.
I would try to give date suggestions, but I am not very good at dating, so all I can say is that whatever your hobbies and interests are is your best chance of meeting someone you'll like. Whatever you like doing, do it in public. Go to concerts, conventions, shows, parties, whatever.
Reed:
--- Quote from: NeverQuiteGoth on 27 Mar 2009, 17:10 ---My friends took me to a club in San Francisco a couple of times. It was fun, sort of, I danced 'n stuff, but a bit beyond the realm of my social abilities. I have that phobia, I forget what its called, but it basically means "fear of attention". Been working on that one a long time, and its gotten better but its a long way from gone; it makes that sort of environment very difficult to participate in. Plus the people for the most part seemed like the kind of people I would get sick of quickly.
Anyway, the point is that I am not unwilling. I do things whenever opportunities arise.
--- End quote ---
I have suffered (and still do to some extent) from really bad social anxiety. The thing that helped me more than anything was being forced into social situations that were difficult for me (in my case it was moving to the dorms in college, which wound up really being the greatest thing to happen to me). You say you enjoyed clubs, but were still having difficulties there, so I think you should really try going more often. I know how much it sucks being forced into a situation like that, but if you're anything like me it will really help you in the long run. Try to just go and have as much fun as possible, don't worry about getting tired of the people there, you're not yet. Just go out, have fun, and relax.
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