Weekly Wrap-up, Match 1
Raccoon City gets a stellar final day from its pitchers, but it's not enough as the Yammonsters sweep every batting category to headshot the newly christened Zombies 9-3-2.
Yammonsters MVP: Dan Haren (13 IP, 11 K, 2 QS, 2.08 ERA, 0.77 WHIP)
Zombies MVP: Johan Santana (12.2 IP, 20 K (!), 1 QS, 1 W, 0.71 ERA, 0.87 WHIP)
The Dreadnaught get a good week from their pitchers despite Lincecum's rough start to beat the DEATHs 11-3-0.
DEATHs MVP: Josh Beckett (13 IP, 15 K, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.46 ERA, 1.15 WHIP)
Dreadnaught MVP: Nick Swisher (7 R, 2 HR, 9 RBI, .471 AVG, .550 OBP) Too bad you dropped him!
I struggle to resist using sexual innuendo to describe the Fuck Stars' last-minute 7-6-1 victory over McFeely's Deliveries and succeed... for now.
Deliveries MVP: Jake Peavy (15.1 IP, 18 K, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.52 ERA, 1.04 WHIP)
Fuck Stars MVP: Aarong Harang (14 IP, 11 K, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.64 ERA, 0.93 WHIP)
The Placeholders get monster weeks out of Lind, Cabrera, and Longoria to pummel the Hefes 10-3-1.
Placeholders MVP: Miguel Cabrera (5 R, 3 HR, 10 RBI, .520 AVG (!), .586 OBP)
Hefes MVP: Chris Young (13 IP, 12 K, 2 QS, 2 W, 1.38 ERA, 0.85 WHIP)
The Natural Disaster Bowl is the other close matchup of the week, with the Tornadoes squeaking by the Volcanoes 7-6-1, with 3 RBIs and pitching strikeouts and only 20 average points separating the two teams.
Volcanoes MVP: Josh Johnson (15.2 IP, 15 K, 2 QS, 2 W, 0.57 ERA, 0.83 WHIP)
Tornadoes MVP: Alfonso Soriano (7 R, 4 HR, 7 RBI, 2 SB, .286 AVG, .355 OBP)
The SABRs get a bit of a recovery from their absolutely abysmal start, but their rally falls short and the Yofaces coast to a 9-4-1 victory.
SABRs MVP: Kosuke Fukudome (5 R, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 1 SB, .409 AVG, .480 OBP)
Yofaces MVP: Heath Bell (0.00 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 3 S)
The Imperials get a solid all-around week and clobber the Martinis 11-2-1.
Imperials MVP: Nelson Cruz (5 R, 3 HR, 5 RBI, 1 SB, .304 AVG, .346 OBP)
Martinis MVP: Joakim Soria (5 K, 3.00 ERA, 0.67 WHIP, 3 S)
Stat Leaders:
R: Tie between Yofaces and Volcanoes (49)
HR: Placeholders (18)
RBI: Placeholders (60)
K (hitters): Tie between Yammonsters and Deliveries (42)
SB: Volcanoes (11)
AVG: Deliveries (.328)
OBP: Deliveries (.412)
IP: Yammonsters (70.1)
K (pitchers): Zombies (58)
QS: Dreadnaught (5)
W: Yammonsters (6)
ERA: Fuck Stars (2.05)
WHIP: Placeholders (1.04)
SVHD: DEATHs (11)
The You Done Fucked Up! Award goes to the DEATHs, who traded Uggla to the Zombies for Jed Lowrie just before rosters locked. Uggla's stats for the week: 3 R, 2 HR, 6 RBI, .200 AVG, .333 OBP. Not amazing, but Lowrie's stats for the matchup? A pitiful 1 for 18 with 8 strikeouts.
The Raw Deal of the Week Award goes to Dreadnaught, who rack up an impressive 10 saves/holds, 4 more than anybody else in the league... except the team they were playing against.
Weird Stat of the Week: Halfway through the week, the SABRs had a .122 AVG for the entire team.
This week's matchups:
DEATHs vs. Yammonsters
Zombies vs. Deliveries
Dreadnaught vs. Placeholders
Fuck Stars vs. Volcanoes
Hefes vs. SABRs
Tornadoes vs. Imperials
Yofaces vs. Martinis