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Bedazzled thread

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snalin:
The second series of Firefly was absolute, horrifying SHIT, and got more popular than Lost and 24 combined. All your friends is talking about is the second season of Firefly, and to have any social contact, you have to suffer your way through horrifying hours of the new director's butchery of the old series.

I wish I hadn't lost my keys.

allison:
You didn't lose your keys, but you lost your house, all your worldly possessions and your lover in the fire. With nothing left to live for, you throw yourself off a bridge with your keys still in your pocket.

I wish I could go home from work and Skype and sleep.

snalin:
You get a call over skype. It's someone saying "hello there". You notice a reflection in the corner of your eye, and outside the window, you see the mad rapist (as the media later names him) with a mobile phone in one hand, and an axe in the other. "Would you care to get to know mister Axy-baxy here?", he continues.

I wish that I, as Allison presumed, had a lover to loose.

Patrick:
You have a lover so loose (your typos are your own fault, dude) that it is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

I wish I didn't have to lose my lover in two weeks.

nobo:
you lost your lover a few weeks ago, to another man, me.

i wish finding a job in detroit was easier.

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