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Blog Thread III : Look Who's Blogging Now

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Patrick:
Gay Movie and Cocktails night at George's tonight. He told me that he does these nights from time to time in order to "make absolutely sure" that even the stupidest of his friends don't forget that he is gay. His words. I'm going 'cause I wanna get my drink on.

Christophe:
Plus you get your gay on anyway when I'm around.

Together.

WOCKA WOCKA

Jace:
Got my minis in the mail! woo I have some stuff to paint! But oh wait, there's no paintbrushes included. I guess I'll have to wait a couple days until I can go to the gamestore and get one.

Ballard:
Hey, gonna cross post this from the NOT SOBER thread in case it gets a better response here.

Sorry to lay some deep shit on this page but I need some advice.

I have been smoking for about a year; it started just at parties occasionally. In September I started smoking on the regular, at least a few times a week, and this escalated steadily for some time until I was smoking almost every day. Lately it's been less but I realized recently that I've been feeling depressed, anxious, and/or shitty a lot more than is normal for me. I'm generally a happy-go-lucky dude but these last few months, more and more often, it has happened that I've been struck suddenly and without warning by strong feelings of suicide and depression out of nowhere.

The other day I got higher than I've been in ages at a friend's house and we both moved to pass out in her bed but instead of falling asleep I bugged out and tripped balls. Without hyperbole, this felt 10x more like a trip than my acid trip. The world tore apart around me and I felt myself falling into a black abyss. Suddenly my mind flooded with dark, horrifying thoughts that presented themselves as undeniable realities regarding my life and the world around me. Sinking lower and lower, I came to the realization that underneath all the subterfuge, the world is a horrible, desperate place run by merciless psychological systems, and that everyone just lies to themselves in different ways to combat this. I felt lonely and beyond help. I remember waking up my friend and saying "holy shit, this is the worst I've ever felt in my life" but when she asked if she could do anything for me, I said "I don't know" and let her go back to bed. Eventually, overwhelmed, I gave up trying to fight this demon with positive thoughts and let it wash over me in hopes that eventually it would go away.

I don't remember falling asleep but I woke up at noon the next day, feeling perfectly fine if burned as fuck.

There have been many other experiences less intense than this but still shitty. Smoking seems to amplify these feelings. My life is going great socially, romantically, and professionally, and I haven't been traumatized by anything as far as I can recall. I don't really understand what is going on or why, but I'm worried and want to resolve it.

BrittanyMarie:
some people react badly to it if you have anxiety or depression, plus there's the possibility that your stuff was laced with something else i guess? i'm leaning toward the first, i've heard of a lot of stories of people with anxiety or people with depression, even though they're veteran smokers, have on occasion flipped shit and one tried to call 911 because he thought he was dying.

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