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[Zingoleb]

A real anal sexpert wouldn't recommend KY.

[Johnny C]

http://www.prairiedogmag.com/cover/?c=cover-feature&id=259

[Zingoleb]

Mother FUCKER I did not mean for that to be a page break

[Johnny C]

Once when my girlfriend and I were having breakfast she asked me "what's the difference between jam and jelly."

I responded "I can't jelly my dick up your ass!"

what's the difference between your mom and jam

[Johnny C]

i didn't get jam all over my dick last night

[Spluff]

Don't lie to us.

[Johnny C]

[David_Dovey]

http://www.prairiedogmag.com/cover/?c=cover-feature&id=259

What's in that bag at yr feet John?

[Emaline]

So, blog thread...sigh. Ok basically, since I was little girl with romantic and idealistic dreams, I have wanted to learn French. I took a French class when I was in high school, and actually got a lot from it(it helped that there was maybe 4 other people in the class). I recently bought this DS "My French Coach" game and it is actually pretty neat. Basically, I'm moderately alright at reading French now, and it does have a thing on there to record me speaking French and compare it to a native speaker, but basically, I feel too silly to talk at my DS, so I never use it.

Anyway, reading French. My boyfriend took a few years of Spanish while he was in school and said that they read Spanish language children's novels a lot. Since I'm getting alright at reading French, I think that I should try to actually read a book. Does anyone know of a)any French children's books I should read and b)of anywhere(other than Amazon) I could purchase them?

[Barmymoo]

My go-to book for foreign languages is always Roald Dahl's Mathilda, because I know it so well that I can figure out words I don't understand. Perhaps you should try that as a step-up to a French-original book? Pick a book you know and love and read a translation of it.

[Emaline]

hahaha I am actually searching for Neil Gaiman books in French right now.

[october1983]

Fuckin' Babar and Tintin

[october1983]

The latter will really help you with your vocab for racial slurs.

[Emaline]

I was wondering about Tintin. I vaguely recall the pictures from my childhood, but not any of the stories, and it keeps showing up on Amazon.

[David_Dovey]

Hey Blog Thread

So it is eight weeks to the day til I leave the country, maybe forever and I am now pretty much in a constant state of hyperventilatin' freakout. I'm going to be away from home for a very long time! Going to be poor! No routine, no job, no fixed address! This is exciting, but also scary as hell.

[Ladybug]

Emaline, maybe The Little Prince/Le petit prince could be an idea?

We tried to read A Journey to the Center of the Earth/Voyage au centre de la Terre, or perhaps an abridged version (not sure, as I haven't read it in another language), in French class in high school, but it was sort of a failure, as most people in the class were unfamiliar with it, and the teacher was a moron who wouldn't let us read at our own pace. I would definitely go with something I knew the overall storyline is, as it's easy to get lost in figuring out what each sentence means and thus losing grasp with what the whole thing is actually about.

[Emaline]

I've already got that one in my cart.

But I'm having no luck finding any Neil Gaiman. Which sucks. Even ebay didn't have any. I'm gonna walk up to the used bookstore tomorrow and see if they can help me out.

[Johnny C]

http://www.prairiedogmag.com/cover/?c=cover-feature&id=259

What's in that bag at yr feet John?

Maker's Mark. It was half-full when I brought it, and empty before the interview even started.

[Inlander]

And that's why you only got to hold the full-stop.

[Johnny C]

I shared!

I wish they'd put the photo from the inside online, I'm mean-muggin' in it.

[iamiam]

Does anyone know of a)any French children's books I should read and b)of anywhere(other than Amazon) I could purchase them?

i know it's already been said but i just have to repeat: THE LITTLE PRINCE.

if you can get only one book, get the little prince!  (not to mention it's super easy/cheap to find in original language anyways)

[McTaggart]

Dear blog thread I should really be writing this major report that carries most of my marks for one of the last units I need to do for my degree. Instead I've spent half an hour writing a short essay about how the capture the flag game mode in TF2 is less worthwhile than 5cp.

[Ptommydski]

So, blog thread...sigh. Ok basically, since I was little girl with romantic and idealistic dreams, I have wanted to learn French.

I know I said this last year too but I am absolutely adamant that this is the best way to learn new language. Fill an MP3 player with French language tapes, hundreds of which are available for free via Bit Torrent. Listen to them all day every day and within a month you'll be surprisingly familiar with it.

[Emaline]

Hahah, man. I do not even remember that.

But! That is part of the plan. I'm supposed to find my boyfriend a Spanish version of the game I have, and he is supposed to find us podcasts.

[JD]

Camping Time! Our campground apparently has internet though, which is kinda weird.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

that cannot possibly be camping.

like, at all.


then again, I don't even use a tent when I go camping so maybe I'm just on the opposite end of the spectrum

[Inlander]

I just put in an application on a house which was open for inspection this morning. It's started!

The house is just beautiful and is very close to what I'm looking for (apart from being in not quite the right area, but it's area-adjacent). It's recently renovated, with a brand new bathroom including a bathtub, two large bedrooms (I'm looking for a two-bedroom place so I can have a study/home office). Most importantly, it's got a really nice kitchen - nice new fittings, but more to the point the kitchen is south-facing which means it gets all the morning sun, and just standing in the dining alcove off the kitchen with the sun washing over me I was filled with the most amazing sense of calm, even with dozens of other people walking through the house around me . I just stood there and soaked it up and was still feeling completely blissed out ten minutes after leaving the house. That's the kind of effect I want a house to have on me. It's right at the top of my price range but I reckon I can manage it. (Part of the reason for having a proper home office is that I can then claim some of the rent as a tax deduction - which I can't do in my current situation, where my computer is set up in my bedroom.) Oh, and in the back garden there was a brand new rain-water tank - a rain-water tank! Amazing.

However there is absolutely no guarantee that I'll get the house. I've written here before about how tough the Melbourne property market is at the moment, both for renting and buying - well here's another example: the open house was at 11:15 this morning. I rushed home, filled out an application, and then rushed back to the real estate agent's office to submit it. I got my application in at around 1:15 p.m. - and already three other people had submitted applications. In the space of only two hours after anyone got a chance to even look at the place! On a Saturday! So, fingers crossed - one way or another I'll know by the end of the week.

[Jimmy the Squid]

My girlfriend is going to a property inspection this afternoon. We don't know anything about the apartment other than what we can guess from the one photo (from outside the block of units) on the realestate website which is that it has a balconey, is probably going to be small and likely tiled throughout (it is a "MODERN APARTMENT"). The only notes on the website say that it has a balconey but for all we know it could just be one room with no kitchen and a bucket for the toilet. Hopefully it is nice, though if it is we won't be able to get the applications in until at least tuesday. We were hoping it was going to be pissing down rain like the weather said it would be because then no one would show up for it but looking out the window of work it looks sunny and pleasent outside. Fuck.

[Elizzybeth]

I'm thirding the house- and apartment-hunting anxiety.  We put in applications ($35 fee each!  the highest I've ever seen) yesterday on a place that's awesome (dining room, sunroom, small back porch, front lawn, private washer and dryer inside the house where frat boys can't pee in them omg), and the rental agency told us they'd call sometime today.  When it got to be 4 pm and we'd heard nothing, we tried calling, but they didn't answer.  They closed at 5 for the weekend, so no news until Monday I guess. 

[Jimmy the Squid]

In my experience real estate agents are just some of the worst examples of people that humanity has to offer. Just generally lazy, stupid, incompetant scumbags.

[Emaline]

Hey, it sounds like you are describing our landlord!

I will also jump on the bandwagon of house/apartment hunting. So far everywhere we have been has not looked worth the price.

[Inlander]

None of you spotted my horrible mistake! A south-facing kitchen in the Southern Hemisphere would not get much sun at all. The house is south-facing but the kitchen, being at the back of the house, is north-facing.

EDIT: also real estate agents can be unpleasant but I'd sooner deal with an agency than a private landlord any day of the week. But that's probably because my one experience of dealing with a private landlord in Melbourne was this guy: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/melbournes-worst-landlord/2006/11/04/1162340095862.html.

Also:

We put in applications ($35 fee each!  the highest I've ever seen)

Holy shit, I hope to hell Melbourne real estate agents never cotton onto the idea of charging people for the privelege of applying for a house.

[LittleKey]

For language learning, I would recommend audio that isn't actually related to learning the language, and is instead just normal programs (i.e. stand up comedy, news, etc.) It's spoken at the normal speed, with normal grammar and vocab, instead of teaching you set phrases; this seems to be especially good when you already know the basics of the language, so I think you should try it.

That's what I'm trying to do for my Spanish right now, with news podcasts, but I can't seem to get them on my iPod, and as of a few days ago the iPod hasn't even been able to connect to my computer anyway. Stupid Apple products grumble grumble grumble grumble.

[JD]

It might help if you switch the spanish/french/danish/whatever version of Itunes. I forget how you do it though.

day .5 of roughing it in the wilderness. The bathrooms here are really nice actually. also free wi-fi is nice.

[Jimmy the Squid]

None of you spotted my horrible mistake! A south-facing kitchen in the Southern Hemisphere would not get much sun at all. The house is south-facing but the kitchen, being at the back of the house, is north-facing.

EDIT: also real estate agents can be unpleasant but I'd sooner deal with an agency than a private landlord any day of the week. But that's probably because my one experience of dealing with a private landlord in Melbourne was this guy: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/melbournes-worst-landlord/2006/11/04/1162340095862.html.

Also:

We put in applications ($35 fee each!  the highest I've ever seen)

Holy shit, I hope to hell Melbourne real estate agents never cotton onto the idea of charging people for the privelege of applying for a house.

Oh god I hope that never catches on here. That is so fucked up.

[Elizzybeth]

Purportedly it's because it costs them some money to run a credit check.

But yes it still sucks.

[Inlander]

Credit check? Here they just ask you to provide evidence that you've been paid three times in a row.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Three? In Sydney it's eight!

FUCKING CREDIT CHECKS!!!

[David_Dovey]

HOW DO THEY WORK

[Eris]

One thing ben and I worked out when house hunting is to a) try and get private viewings, and b) have application forms filled out and everything ready when you go to inspect. We basically just provided as much information as we could and took it with us, then if we liked the place we would fill in the address section, and if we didn't then we had one all filled out for the next time we looked at somewhere from that real estate agent. We were having no luck with anything until we organised a private viewing of this place (even though there was another lady looking at it during our 'private' viewing), and handed the guy our stuff right after we got out of the place and found out the next day that we got approved. That's probably what we're going to do next time we have to go house hunting again.


Blog, I am really tired. It was super duper busy at work today, and I was supposed to be in charge of the floor (meeting and greeting people and delegating jobs so that I was there for when new people came in). I was working with a girl who isn't an overly strong employee and one (then both) of the new owners, who are essentially useless. I ended up having to rush about doing stuff because I am not very confident at delegating, and because one of the owners kept asking me to take orders from tables, even though he knows perfectly well how to take them (and would do so whenever he decided to). Hopefully he is noticing that that is pissing me off, because it is not making me hate him any less than I already do at the moment.

Also, I was talking to one of the other girls who works there, and she was saying that once the old owners leave we will be getting more shifts again, as the new guys are taking over some of the days when we would work to save money. The old owners are leaving in a few months, and I still need to pay rent and eat in the meantime, so I am not too happy with this situation. This is really stressing me out at the moment, and work is getting to be more stress and less actual enjoyment (which was one of the things I liked about this job; I really liked working with the people I was, and the atmosphere that the place had was pretty nice) so I am getting closer and closer to just saying 'fuck it' and leaving.

I need another goddamn job that I can move over to once this transition period is over and done with.

[LittleKey]

It might help if you switch the spanish/french/danish/whatever version of Itunes. I forget how you do it though.

day .5 of roughing it in the wilderness. The bathrooms here are really nice actually. also free wi-fi is nice.

Yeah, that's the best way I've found to get the podcasts. You go into the iTunes Store and there's an option at the bottom to switch language. The problem I have is getting them onto the iPod itself; last time I tried, it said they were on it but when I checked they weren't. Oh well, I'll figure it out someday.

[Inlander]

private viewings

In Melbourne they just don't bother doing this these days. When I moved into the house I'm currently in they had the key in the office, and I was able to collect it and have a look around the place at my leisure, but nowadays if you ring up an agent and ask if you can have a look at a place you just get told when the official inspection is happening. Then you get there and invariably it's like queuing to get into a nightclub. There are so many thousands of people moving to Melbourne each year that demand far outstrips supply, and all the balls are in the real estate agent's court.

[Jimmy the Squid]

So some of you may remember back in like, February when I posted about having a broken window in my apartment. We assumed that this was because of how hot it gets in our apartment coupled with the hugely high winds that we experience being right over the bay and on the top floor of this building. It took like, 2 months before the real estate agent got someone to come take a look at it and it's now been almost another two months and nothing has been done. I finally managed to get into contact with the agent and she says that the repair person says that "it is not because of heat" in a voice that says "this is coming out of your bond" and that she is waiting to hear back from the landlord about what they want to do.
I have just come home from work to discover that the cistern of the toilet is leaking furiously and has flooded the bathroom. We've put a bucket under it and are looking into who we're supposed to get for emergency repairs because, while the toilet still works, we can't let it continue to leak everywhere. I'm fairly certain this is going to be something they'll try to take out of the bond as well.

Also that place my girlfriend was going to inspect, they changed the times of the inspection at the last minute and she wasn't able to get out of work on time. This is starting to get ridiculous.

[jmrz]

Yeah, the rental market is ridiculous. Working in property management? WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO IS BEYOND ME. Seriously, it has to be one of the most stressful and painful jobs I've come across. Having said that, I work in a real estate office. My mother is my boss and she is the manager of the office. She prides herself on being a nice agent. She has said over and over again that the day she stops getting enjoyment out of selling someone their first home for $250,000, is the day she stops being a real estate agent. We work in an office that doesn't sell hugely expensive properties. We work mostly with first home buyers and older people. Our office prides itself on being awesomely helpful, nice and caring. Mum has clients that she's sold countless houses too over a number of years. Yeah, a lot of agent's are jerks, yeah they don't get back to people, or yes, they pester you with calls all the time. Not everyone is like that though. Real estate is a really hard business to work in, and the office staff and agents get blamed for everything, when most of the time it's not their fault or problem or they can't solve it anyway. And until you work in the industry, most people don't even realise this.

[Liz]

I found my new place on Facebook, called the girl and said "hey I want to move in" and she said "okay come have a tour" and now I will be moving in in about... five hours or so. eeeeeeee

[Eris]

selling someone their first home for $250,000

oh god that makes me so depressed. I have been looking at places for sale or just sold around here (because I hate myself and like making myself feel poor?) and a tiny studio/ 1 bedroom apartment goes for $370 000 easy. Houses are all basically $1 mil or more, and anything I would want to get (nice place, 2 bedroom and doesn't need much work done) is probably more around $500 000 for apartments, not even taking into account the strata costs. That is half a million dollars right there! For an apartment! Then I think about how my parents' house cost $170 000 and it is 3 bedrooms and a study, and that I am never going to be able to afford to buy that kind of house in the part of Sydney I would want to live. Ever.

booooo

[Barmymoo]

How does anyone afford that?! My parents had to take out a mortgage and had been living in a tiny, six-room house for over a decade before they managed to buy our family home and that was £180,000 or so at the time - it was valued at about £500,000 three years ago and now I have no idea how much it would be. Surely first-time buyers would have no hope of buying something at that price?

[Eris]

The really expensive places are normally bought by rich people who will rip up the insides to make it into a number of apartments and then rent them out. Then the rent is ridiculous because their mortgage repayments are massive, or because they are shitdicks and the rental market is awful and people will pay the huge rents.

A lot of first home buyers are relying on the government grant and also either borrowing a lot of money, or their parents remortgage their homes to help finance it (there has also been cases of friends buying a house together because they wouldn't be able to afford it on their own) because the housing market here is just fucked all over the place. Where I am now is even worse because I am in a trendy suburb of the inner city of a state capital city. There is no way anything around here would be cheap, no matter what the housing market was like.

[Inlander]

Basically the ol' Global Financial Crisis didn't hit Australia hard enough to shake any sense into us and we're just continuing down the same old debt path we've been following for years.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Ok so Hannah was kind enough to tell me that there is a bookshop in our area that is hiring. I'm popping in tomorrow to hand in my CV and hand-written cover letter (I guess they want to check out my hand writing). Hopefully this goes well?