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[A Wet Helmet]

You're right, he should have stayed in the car until rescue showed up, however, the car couldn't be shut off.  The key wouldn't turn so one of the guys there made a pretty compelling argument about carbon monoxide and fire hazard.  About that time, the kid came to a little bit and started flailing around trying to to get out.  A nurse had shown up and she said "Get him out".  So me and another guy ripped the door off (no incredible hulk task, it was probably about 85% ripped off from the flipping over anyway) and pulled him out where he then collapsed in the dirt and was going in and out of consciousness.  He had big gash on his arm that's going to need a goo-gob of stiches, a chunk of meat out of his side (don't know what did that), and was bleeding from his nose, mouth, head, and little cuts all over.   He had a bruise on his arm/chest/shoulder that came up so fast and was so purple I'll be really shocked if he didn't tear his pec.  When he was conscious, he said his legs hurt the worst, so I don't know what was going on there because other than little cuts, I didn't see any holes.  They were under the dash though so I suppose he could have closed breaks.  Of course, he didn't even know what his own name was, so he's also got an obvious head injury that is who-knows-how-severe.  I left shortly after the ambulance got there.   I felt really helpless without an aid bag or anything.   I haven't seen anyone that messed up since I was a soldier, and I've been a civilian a long time.  That includes a three car, one semi truck accident I was in a few years ago.

The driver ended up in the back seat somehow.   He was a skinny fuck, but I went out and looked at my car and there ain't a whole lot of room between the headrest and the roof.  I don't know how the hell he squeezed through there at 70 miles an hour.    Other than a goose egg on his head about half the size of my fist, he said he was fine.   I bet he's feeling it now though.

My eldest is getting her license in a couple of months.  This has just basically scared the shit out of me.   

[Metope]

Today I uh, set a lot of money on fire at work. I called my boss and she told me to write a note to the office explaining why 1000 kr would be missing, but I could not for the life of me figure out a way of wording it that didn't sound completely hilarious.

"1000 kr are missing today, because it all went up in smoke."

"1000 kr are missing today, because I set them on fire."

"Money to ashes, dust to dust."

"Hi guys, maybe it's about time to stop using the microwave oven as a safe?"

[redglasscurls]

Kris that is hilariously awful. It sounded way more dramatic though before I did a currency conversion and it only came out to ~127usd!

[Metope]

Yeah, it wasn't that bad really. Both my boss and I laughed about it because it was just so ridiculous. It was however a little terrifying when I could smell the smoke, opened the microwave and saw flames everywhere. I managed to toss the burning pile of money in the sink though, so no harm done besides a small money loss.

[Slick]

"Hi guys, maybe it's about time to stop using the microwave oven as a safe?"

What with Tommy's jews and your money in there isn't it getting a little crowded?

[Metope]

Well, the money aint there anymore.


(I could have made another joke, but I'm not that cruel.)

[KvP]

I got my cat when I was 4 years old, and he's getting near 20 now - too old to move around much anymore. Got the call today saying he's got glaucoma and cataracts, is probably deaf, and his bladder is full of blood. Nothing on the x-ray and a bladder ultrasound will cost us $350 per hour. It's not looking good. I've agonized over this scenario for several years and now that it's here I don't quite know how to approach it. I'm frustrated that I'm not panicking.

[Dimmukane]

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

issues

things

uncertainties

at the core of it all, really strong emotions

[JD]

so we kinda dealt with my brother's future today

I fell asleep near the end though.

[Alex C]

 A nurse had shown up and she said "Get him out".  

Why the hell didn't she do most of it? I woulda been like "You guys jerk around his neck and I will END YOU."

Then again, I've never really got high ratings for my people skills during that kinda thing, which is a bummer, since statistically a history of incompetence is less likely to get you sued for malpractice than being stern but good at what you do. People suck.

[Emaline]

GUYS


GUYSSS!!!!

GUYSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GOT A UKULELE!!!!!!!


EEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm so excited!! I was closing up at work, and my boyfriend showed up at the door playing it! He is the bestest ever! I supers love him!!

[Patrick]

Dear guys

I went and interviewed at the Art Institute today (turns out it wasn't the Academy of Arts, lol)

The guy was super fucking chill and we had a cigarette together and bitched about how Ronaldo sucks cocks. He tried to introduce me personally to the head dean of admissions but apparently he wasn't in today. We tried everywhere. We looked for him during the tour, it was kinda funny 'cause he's this like 6'3 dude who is hella clean cut and looks like a bad motherfucker (his name was Attila, fool whaaaat) and we were looking for him in corners and shit, and all the students were like "Uhhhhh what are these people doing, what the hell" and I'm like "We're looking for the dean of admissions!" all obnoxious and perky-like.

I also hung out with a homeless dude named Damon who wrapped a piece of quartz in copper wire all purdy-like.

Now I am drinking with a pretty lady who thought she would beat me at Scrabble.

Bye!

[scarred]

dunno how many more times they're gonna say "diplomatic pouch" in this x-files episode but it is hilarious every freaking time

hehe

pouch

hehe



also the art institutes suck dick, i'm in my 2nd year there and i don't know anyone who's happy there, including administration. go to real school or community college.

[Emaline]

eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Guys, I think I might actually be able to learn how to play this and I am totally happy and this is gonna be the best ever! And my book I got says "Makes Me Happy!" all big across the cover and ITS SO TRUE! And I already found some tabs and I can already read it and tomorrow I am teaching myself The Nun's Litany and if I can before work I'm gonna record myself and send it to my best friend* so we can giggle nonstop. I'm so excited!!!!!




(*Probably will not happen, as even though now I have an excuse to actually sing and suspect that my boyfriend will expect me to, I don't know if I'll be able to get over my absolute stage fright.)

[est]

Let's play bright side.

I maybe have a pre-cancerous skin condition!
Bright side: i'll know for sure one way or the other on friday, and even if it is what I think it is there's stuff I can do to avoid actually developing cancer.

I don't know what to get Han for her birthday in three days, oh god I am a horrible boyfriend!
Bright side: I bought something tonight that I think she'll like but I am not sure and I'm taking her out to dinner tomorrow night so that's okay, right?

I just ruined two perfectly good steaks by over-cooking them in the oven trying to do a slow-cooking thing I've done before, only quicker! 
Bright side: mmm, delicious ham, cheese, tomato and cucumber sandwiches, nom nom nom.

[glyphic]

Wait. You were trying to slow-cook something quickly?


Hope your tests reveal nothing but good things. Or possibly extraordinarily good things. Like maybe you're developing the Midas touch.

So now you'll be able to fix mufflers.

And turn them into gold.

[look out! Ninjas!]

Managed to score myself a ticket (worth AU$450) to the Australian Law Students association conference in Adelaide, coming up in a month or so. It's pretty much just a big excuse to get drunk. Graphite-person, you coming? (I remember you being a law student)

[Graphite]

Afraid not. I'm pretty bad at enjoying excuses to get drunk, and very excited about being home and relaxed for the holidays. Have fun though!

[David_Dovey]

The girl whose EP I'm recording is going to that Law Students pissup. After what she's told me about what goes on there, I'm more than a little uncomfortable knowing that the future leaders of our country will be attending.

[McTaggart]

Damn near everything is actually a piss up. Even like, proper conferences.

[jhocking]

I maybe have a pre-cancerous skin condition!
Bright side: i'll know for sure one way or the other on friday, and even if it is what I think it is there's stuff I can do to avoid actually developing cancer.

Actually there's an even better bright side: pre-cancerous skin conditions (ie. suspicious looking moles) are easy to treat by just cutting them out and then biopsying the hole to make sure the doctor got everything. 30 minute operation, and depending on where exactly the spot is the scar may not be a big deal. A long time I had a mole excised from the middle of my back because the doctor thought it looked suspicious, and I have no idea what the scar looks like now because it's in the middle of my back so who cares?

Incidentally, whether or not the results say it's malignant the doctor will probably want to cut it off anyway (and if he doesn't, you might suggest that.) Even if the biopsy doesn't find cancer, the mere fact that the doctor thought it looked suspicious enough to need a biopsy means you might as well just cut it off since that's so easy to do.

[Graphite]

The girl whose EP I'm recording is going to that Law Students pissup. After what she's told me about what goes on there, I'm more than a little uncomfortable knowing that the future leaders of our country will be attending.

This seems consistent with what Parliament's Question Time sounds like. Politicians argue like grumpy toddlers.

[McTaggart]

Yeah if they actually turn up.

[jhocking]

Isn't "silly muscle shirt" redundant?

[Zingoleb]

I spent most of last night trying to convince my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend that's he's actually a hallucination and I think I partially succeeded.

Today, I've been job hunting. Suuuuuckssssss, especially when you're exhausted from staying up half the night trying to convince your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend that he's actually a hallucination (with partial success).

[Emaline]

I stayed up until 5am looking up ukulele tabs and teaching myself, and now I have to go to work and train people, so I feel your pain.

[Barmymoo]

I stayed up not all night but only until between midnight and 1am (not sure exactly when), at which point I dissolved into a puddle of tears all over one of the members of the June Event committee, and after she unsuccessfully tried to persuade the porters to let me go back to my room and sleep, she put me onto a big pile of cushions in the JCR and I slept there until they finally let us go back into the building at 3.30am.

Then today I went to London for a job interview which I think went ok, and then to a school to chat to year 12 students and encourage them to come here. I really enjoyed it, I love doing that kind of thing far more than I like partying and going to balls and I get on well with the school liason officer who is awesome

On the downside my first ex-boyfriend recently added me on Facebook (as in, last week) and has now deleted me because he found out I go to church (having made a series of insulting posts on my wall). I knew he could be hugely unpleasant - our breakup was very nasty - but I had hoped that in five years he would have matured. Nope.

With regards to lawyers, it seems to be a prerequisite to drink a lot. Most of the networking that gets law students their jobs takes place at drinks parties and drunken dinners. Just one of a string of reasons I'm not going into that field.

[pwhodges]

Through my sister-in-law, who is a lawyer (specialising in divorce), I have some experience of judges; they seem to be uniformly pickled.

[Caleb]

Well I put up a blog for my local cable show.

It turns out that some people must be watching it because they stopped someone in the street that was in it.

The quality is horrible since I have lost the ability to make .mov files and the quality of the actual show isn't that great either.

http://namependingshow.blogspot.com/

[Zingoleb]

I bought a book today. I expect it to be horrible.

Celebrity party girl Amanda Feral is back from the dead, and hungrier than ever for a good time. With her zombie gal pal Wendy and vampy gay sidekick Gil, this stone cold fox is dressed to kill . . .

First, they pack their stiletto pumps and plasma into a skeevy rattrap on wheels that used to be a Winnebago. Then, with a little help from a Korean-ghost hood ornament, a masochist named Fishhook, and a slew of "moderately accurate" psychics, they hit the highway - their way. Of course, they'll have to navigate past some neo-Nazi skinheads, a horny dust devil. . .

It had me at "vampy gay sidekick". I can't wait to read it.

[Patrick]

I bought a microphone stand. I'm gonna put good electric tracks on my recordings now instead of shitty ones that were recorded with a mic suspended by the cord from the amp's handle.

Had a lady named Amanda over at my house so we could drink and play Scrabble. Being single is cool, I can do that shit and get away with it. I was also stoned and I beat the shit out of her and my roomie at the game, I got a three-letter play that was worth 42 points. "Quad" on a triple word score. Amanda and my roomie were both super pissed at me, it was hilarious.

She is coming over again today and we will probably do the same thing.

[Dimmukane]

I had my first attempt at making a cheesecake yesterday.  Key Lime.  It doesn't look like much, largely because I was using the wrong size pan and jumbo eggs instead of regular, but it tastes GREAT.  Gonna have another go at it soon, there's a cheesecake competition in my department at work in the next couple weeks, and I want to beat the guy who actually went to culinary school.

[StaedlerMars]

Celebrity party girl Amanda Feral is back from the dead, and hungrier than ever for a good time. With her zombie gal pal Wendy and vampy gay sidekick Gil, this stone cold fox is dressed to kill . . .

First, they pack their stiletto pumps and plasma into a skeevy rattrap on wheels that used to be a Winnebago. Then, with a little help from a Korean-ghost hood ornament, a masochist named Fishhook, and a slew of "moderately accurate" psychics, they hit the highway - their way. Of course, they'll have to navigate past some neo-Nazi skinheads, a horny dust devil. . .

let's just... appreciate that shall we?

[Slick]

Isn't "silly muscle shirt" redundant?

Note his use of the superlative not a qualifier.

[Jimor]

Well I put up a blog for my local cable show.

It turns out that some people must be watching it because they stopped someone in the street that was in it.

The quality is horrible since I have lost the ability to make .mov files and the quality of the actual show isn't that great either.

http://namependingshow.blogspot.com/

Cool stuff. What editing software do you use? Can you work in .avi instead?

2 tips. First is that the intro was too long for my tastes, but that's an opinion thing. Second is to really pay attention to audio. We can hear you clearly as you're right next to the camera mic, but your subjects are a bit muffled. If getting a separate mic is out of the question, at least fiddle with the sound levels in editing to try to level everything off.

I really like the feel of the show, though.

[David_Dovey]

I'm making a cheesecake today too! Woo o/

[Dimmukane]

\o

[Emaline]

I made raspberry cupcakes and gave them too people at work! I have one left, I will share it with you guys if you give me some cheesecake.

[Barmymoo]

Exam results are out and I passed 2:2 which isn't stellar but I was fully expecting it and frankly I don't need a 2:1 to work in theatre, I need theatre experience and theatre experience is the reason I didn't get a 2:1.

I thought last night that I might have come down with a fever of some kind but it seems to have mostly dissipated overnight. Still tired The room next door was being cleaned at 9am and the vaccuum cleaner kept banging against the radiator so I couldn't get back to sleep. Ah well.

[Eris]

I went out for dinner tonight! I got my makeup done by one of the girls I work with (it looked awesome), and went and had Malaysian food and wore the dress ben got me for my birthday and looked super pretty.


It was a really nice night. Now I get to go to bed and clean the house all day tomorrow.

[LeeC]

last night was interesting with the girlfriend. very affectionate turned into us just lying in bed cuddling and talking.  Then we took shots. I was playing with the kitty when she surprised me with cuffs and a police-woman uniform... we had a great night.  as we cuddled and falling into our post-coital coma her suicidal ex-boyfriend called drunk and ruined the night. Apparently he had been talking about her for the past hour and called her threatening to kill himself because he got drunk and in a fight with his land lord and now the cops are after him or something according to his sister who was driving him from the bar or something.  Mind you she hasnt talked to him since last august so this was very random, weird, disturbing, and just ruined the good mood me and my girlfriend were in.  I really hope nothing bad happened to the dude but at the same time im pissed.

[jhocking]

wore the dress ben got me for my birthday and looked super pretty.

I've tried to buy dresses as gifts, I failed.

I guess what I'm saying here is that ben is a girl.

[Barmymoo]

I got accepted to tutor for the tutoring agency I interviewed with yesterday! And they assessed me at level 4 which is the highest

Only problem is, on the list of subjects which I'm allowed to tutor in, there is nothing. Nada. Nichts. I don't know whether that's because they haven't got round to updating it or what; odd.

[scarred]

you are too smart to tutor, clearly you broke the system

[Caleb]

Cool stuff. What editing software do you use? Can you work in .avi instead?
2 tips. First is that the intro was too long for my tastes, but that's an opinion thing.

I use an old version of Premier.  I do work in Avi and that is what goes out over the cable.  However since AVI files are so huge it's pretty much impossible to upload them to the internet.  So I take the finished show which is in avi and put it into WMV so it's small enough to upload.  

The length of the intro is on purpose to catch people when they are channel surfing at midnight.  So it is more of a gimmick to get a cable audience.  So I suppose I should cut it down for the internet version.

[Elizzybeth]

I was playing with the kitty when she surprised me with cuffs and a police-woman uniform...

I kept trying to read the first part of this sentence euphemistically, and it just wasn't making any sense.  Then I realized you probably meant a literal kitty... and literal playing.

(Sorry your girlfriend has a crazy ex, though.)

[scarred]

"playing with the kitty" is what cost george bluth his freedom

[Lines]

wore the dress ben got me for my birthday and looked super pretty.

I've tried to buy dresses as gifts, I failed.

I guess what I'm saying here is that I need to take more tips on shopping from Ben.

[Alex C]

There's times I'd give anything not to be bipolar. The shitty part is that I'm pretty high functioning at this point so it's extra frustrating when I'm down because I feel like I've got a lot accomplished lately but for now it just doesn't really matter all that much.

[jmrz]

It was my birthday last week! Basically, birthday loot is awesome.

Things of note that I got:
40" LCD TV
Canon 100mm Macro lens
$550AU in gift cards for various stores and $170AU in cash

I went shopping and spent pretty much all of that money, and now I have more awesome stuff. Birthday dinner with family and lifelong friends was amazing (except the whole thing was a little weird when I found out the my exboyfriend is sleeping with another one of my exboyfriend's exgirlfriends. I am friends with the ex-gf (she was at the dinner) and the first of the two exbf's mention - my social circle got just that much closer), birthday party on the sunday was amazing. We had a chocolate fondue fountain and ice cream cake! It was a good birthday weekend.