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[gospel]

Video: Death of the Father of the Socialist Homeland (N. Korea, circa 1994)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrvIM1ENcbA
~1m in.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Ahem.

[Jace]

So where is the funny part?
All I see is tragedy. Thousands of people mourning the loss of a beloved leader.

[KharBevNor]

[Dazed]

[Dliessmgg]

[cheesepie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BkymMl0l9g

yeah i smoke it

[LTK]

This.

[Wasteroo]

Video: Death of the Father of the Socialist Homeland (N. Korea, circa 1994)

yeah usually I like unintentionally funny foreign stuff but this was just really sad

[KharBevNor]

I'm gonna go on record here and say that I found it more terrifying than sad.

Not to keep bashing on Christians (but actually yes) I've always been a big fan of TRUTH FOR YOUTH, a series of christian comics that give young people answers to some of lifes more difficult questions. Rock Music, Drugs/Alcohol/Peer Pressure and Homosexuality are particularly ludicrous. There is also a special Harry Potter 'parody'. I've said before that panels and cuts from this comic would make an excellent avatar theme (in which case I would bagsy this (the epic moment when the kid in Drugs/Alcohol/Peer Pressure smokes his first marijuana joint):



EDIT: Whilst I'm at it, another fantastic comic discovered in my travails round the internet, the libertarian sci-fi epic The Probability Broach, extremely notable for its intricate depiction of a perfect libertarian world: cigar chomping civil war monkey soldiers, city sized blimps, Model T hovercraft, cocaine emporiums, huge guns (and swords! wtf!) carried by every single person constantly. Even better than this is the ludicrous futuristic version of our world (I think our world in the 90's, the book it was written based on is from the 70's): everyone rides bicycles, no one cleans anything, and the secret police run around shooting people for smoking.

To be fair this book is actually nowhere near as bad as it could be, particularly it's anti-racist and anti-sexist stances (though the latter wonderfully fucked up...wait for the doctor ladies two page pro-gun rant). But it's still deeply fucking insane.

EDIT EDIT: This comic could also provide a good theme (the theme is cigar-chomping monkey soldiers with huge fucking handcannons).

[Zingoleb]

Homosexuality

Apparently homosexuals (don't call them gays, that's pandering to the liberal media) are a fallen race of man that were suckered into it by predators. Who'd have thought?

But it's okay! You can change if you really, really want to.

[ackblom12]

I feel like this thread should just be turned into a Chick Tracks thread.

[Wasteroo]

okay that Truth for Youth stuff is more like it. "Whoa, Marty! Doesn't your dad's webserver have any parental controls or lockouts that he uses?"

webserver

also, "So you want to sack the passmaster, huh, baby? Well tonight you get your wish!"

"Oohhh wow! Skip, are you really talking to me?"

"Baby, we'll be doin' more than talkin' later! I'm gonna huddle on your line of scrimmage and go for the extra point!"

what the fuck

[pwhodges]

I have a webserver in my attic, and it has no controls to prevent you seeing this or this or this or this, for instance.

[Zingoleb]

asdfklhjggkladjsl;fkj the second law of thermodynamics does not disprove evolutionary theory you cocks

jesus that argument annoys the shit out of me. yes, I'm still reading truth for youth.

[David_Dovey]

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

EROTIC CANINE DANCING

[benji]

I've said before that panels and cuts from this comic would make an excellent avatar theme

<----

I'm on it. It's the last panel of school violence where the guy in the "edgy" Tommy Hilfiger shirt calls out Satan.

[scarred]

what the fuck?

[scarred]

oh my god the testimonies

At summer school in McAllen, TX Shelly O'brien boldly gave a Bible to a gang leader, Alex Perez, and invited him to a revival at her church where Tim Todd was preaching. Miraculously, Alex came and got saved!

Broken before God, Alex addressed the entire congregation, "I have found real peace. I'm going to invite my entire gang to come with me tomorrow night. Pray they will come and get saved too."

The next day Alex informed the pastor, "I gave a Bible to each of my gang and they all agreed to come to the revival tonight. But you realize they're gang members. Will they be welcome?" The pastor assured Alex, the gang would be welcomed with unconditional love.

That night, in walked Alex with his entire gang. Late, because of being on house arrest for vandalizing their school, they filled the two back rows. When the invitation for salvation was given, all eleven came to the front, fell on their knees and genuinely gave their hearts to Jesus Christ as their personal savior!

Think about it...one bold young lady, gave one Bible, to one gang leader and an entire gang was saved! Yes, Christian teenagers giving out THE TRUTH FOR YOUTH Bibles is helping to stop the violence in America's public schools! I challenge you to provide THE TRUTH FOR YOUTH Bibles for young people in your community to distribute in their school and make a difference! Order today!!!

[Scandanavian War Machine]

they just wanted free bibles to hide guns in!

silly naive church folk

[benji]

what the fuck?

Proverbs 22:8 translates as something like "He who plants injustice shall reap disaster." I guess these guys think God will literally throw a rock at you for being an asshole. If that were true, I know a lot of people who would have to walk around with hard hats.

[benji]

One young man was a devout Buddist. After several days of reading your comics He said, “There is something that makes your God real and mine not real.”

If they're going to make shit up, they should do enough research to at least spell the name of the other religion right.

[Zingoleb]

Buddhists...Buddhists don't have a god. That's sort of the point.

[IronOxide]

Dovey,

It's

CANINE EROTIC DANCING

Get yourself together, man.

[Liz]

Taco Gay Wolf.

If you don't know, don't ask.

[benji]

Similar.

[KharBevNor]

I think that's intentionally funny.

Also chick TRACTS.


Also fuck yeah truth for youth woop

[benji]

Yeah, I was just embracing the trend of turning this thread into a thread about mocking evangelical literature.

And if we're talking Jack Chick, his tracts are okay but his real masterpiece is the Crusaders: his comic from the 1970s about a white war hero and a black former gangster who travel the world converting heathens and doing battle with the Illuminati. The best description I've read of it is found here.

[KharBevNor]

Aw hell yeah, I read an episode of Crusaders years ago, the one where they explain how the Catholic Church is actually run by Satan and he's desperately trying to destroy the KJV bible so no one will ever be able to get saved (because you can only be saved with the KJV)

[Zingoleb]

Kicking down doors in Spanish, fuck yeah!

[snalin]

New sig hell yeah.

[Ballard]

The Probability Broach

Holy shit this looks fucking awesome. Although I'd sooner read the original text than the graphic novel.

[Dliessmgg]

graphic novel

Can only be used in this thread.

[Ballard]

Huh?

[Dliessmgg]

Take a comic, put a tie on it, call it graphic novel. It's silly. You don't call an intelligent film a moving picture novel or something like that.

[ackblom12]

Actually, I would definitely say they are separate genres of literature. They use the same medium, but even the ones based off of normal comics tend to have a very different feel and goal.

I mean, if you seriously can't see why there's a separate category for The Amazing Spiderman and Watchmen then damn.

Edit - Or to put it in a film manner, Graphic Novels tend to be to comics what Art House films are to cinema.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Well you kind of do. When a piece of cinema (for lack of a better term for the over-arching medium) is intelligent, well-written, well directed, has good acting, beautiful costuming, cinematography and all that kind of thing, it is often referred to as a "film." When a motion picture is not any of those things, or otherwise inferior, it's often referred to as a "movie". It's not usually a concious thing but more of an effort to distinguish "films" as more worthy than "movies".

By the same token, something like Neil Gaiman's The Sandman or even the more mainstream stuff like some X-Men or Batman books are graphic novels, whereas things like Cathy, Hagar the Horrible or Ginger Meggs (you might not get that if you're not Australian) are comics.

Can you see the distinction?

[ackblom12]

See, I don't think it's a matter of quality most of the time. Calvin and Hobbes isn't a graphic novel because it's a serial comic. It didn't really tell an overarching story except in very small doses. It was simply a collection of very high quality panel comics. Not to devalue it at all of course.

I think a better comparison might be Superman comics and Kingdom Come. The comics have no real beginning, they have no real end and they are regularly changing hands between different writers and artists. They even retcon the story on a semi regular basis to better suit the current writer's needs. Kingdom Come on the other hand was a self contained single storyline with a definite beginning an definite end. Despite the fact that it was based on a very long running franchise, minimal knowledge of Superman was required to enjoy the novel. It also had a much more mature and ambitious goal than the normal comics do.

Watchmen is further along the Graphic Novel line because it is not reliant on any mythos other than what's in the graphic novel itself. Having a bit of knowledge about the superhero genre certainly makes some points the novel makes more poignant, but even then, knowledge of the aura of fear and paranoia of the Cold War during the 80's and the hopeless feelings of the Vietnam genre are much more important for the story.

[ackblom12]

I love Alan Moore and his work, but he's also one of the more pessimistic individuals on the planet.

The term Graphic Novel is of course abused by marketing departments in the comic genre to make things sound more "legitimate," but that doesn't change the fact that the term Graphic Novel has become a rather legitimate term to differentiate 2 subsections of the comic genre.

I would also definitely say you can't have a novel without an overarching story. Conan is a well known pulp character. He doesn't have a single novel written by his creator Robert E. Howard. He has plenty of short stories, but none of the collections of short stories are called novels because that is not what they are.

I would not call a collection of short stories about a single character (or set of characters) a novel and that's how I see Calvin & Hobbes.

[KharBevNor]

Oh goddddsss.

THIS ARGUMENT.

THE WORST ARGUMENT.

[gospel]

What have I done?

[Alex C]

Fuckin' nerds.

[est]

I would have thought that a better analogy would be tv series vs movie.

[sean]

The Probability Broach

holy fucking shit a friend of mine is reading that for a poli sci class right now omgomg i have to read this.

[Tom]

This thread is the saddest thing, I love it.

[KharBevNor]

http://heroesofcapitalism.blogspot.com/

Dear Readers,

First, let me thank you for reading Heroes of Capitalism. While I still believe that honoring true heroes who have used private property to create wealth is valuable, I have come to believe that there is something of greater value to which I must dedicate my private time and resources.

The past year has brought about risks to our liberty that cannot be ignored. The call for socialized health care, the blame of free markets for the financial crisis and the renewal of reliance on government to fix all evils is only the short list of concerns. It has weighed on my heart that Heroes of Capitalism as a blog is simply not doing enough to promote and protect liberty.

Let me assure you that as Heroes of Capitalism stops production, as an individual I will continue to promote and fight for liberty. Let me encourage you to take stock of the present and ask what future you want. The U.S. is at an important crossroads, and we as citizens can (and must) do more to defend our basic liberties. So let me leave you with a challenge. I challenge you to do more. I challenge you to take stock of what resources you have and what you are doing with them. I challenge you to hold on to your precious liberty while you still can.

In liberty,

Ann

Ann Zerkle
Concerned Citizen
Founder of HeroesofCapitalism.com

Emphasis mine.

[Tom]

From the same:

Last week I lost the benefits of Nikola Tesla's invention for four long days and so would like to honor Tesla (1856-1943), the father of alternating current (AC) electricity.

Born in Croatia, Tesla immigrated to the US in 1884 working as a physicist. Tesla worked briefly with Thomas Edison at Edison Machine Works, but left shortly after to pursue his own inventions.

Tesla designed a system of generating and transmitting alternating current (AC) electricity, effectively replacing direct current (DC) electricity as a way to supply electricity to homes and businesses. In 1888, George Westinghouse bought the patent rights to Tesla's invention.
AC electricity lessened the amount of heat used in electricity and was more efficient. AC is still the form of electricity used today to transport electricity to homes and businesses.

During his life, Tesla had over 700 inventions and 100 patents. Tesla, thank you for your invention, I hope I don't lose access to it again anytime soon. I am certainly richer and happier for AC electricity.

[Wasteroo]

There is also a special Harry Potter 'parody'.

finally got around to reading this particular one, and what the fuck?

"Look! It's the gross, disgusting gangrene hand of Severus Blyght in movie 4 -- the one he hacked off to use as a blackspell backscratcher against the orge itch!* That is off the chain!!**

*1 Peter 3:10
**Isaiah 5:20"

admittedly it's been a while since I've read the bible, but I don't remember anything that could possibly make those footnotes make any goddamned sense

[snalin]

1 Peter 3:10 For,
   "Whoever would love life
      and see good days
   must keep his tongue from evil
      and his lips from deceitful speech.

Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good
       and good evil,
       who put darkness for light
       and light for darkness,
       who put bitter for sweet
       and sweet for bitter.


the correlation is... is.... I have no fucking clue.

[benji]

My guess is, in their minds casting spells = speaking evil and approving of such acts = calling evil good.