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Cooking Disasters and Holiday Mess

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The Seldom Killer:
A couple of years ago I managed to blow up a chicken with rice based stuffing. There was an audible bang as the carcass split and the resulting oven cleaning took several hours.

Warning, if you explode a chicken, the skin will weld itself to everything.

neomang5:
I actually had a terrible one recently. I was back home and cooking spaghetti for the team my Dad coaches. My mom makes it so plain and boring so I decided to mix in my own blend of spices (including a ton more italian spices as well as cinnamon, a bit of dark brown sugar, and just a splash of vanilla extract. It's delicious). While digging through the spice cabinet, I found a bottle of coconut extract, and a small brown bottle with no label that I assumed to be vanilla extract.

It wasnt. It was more goddamn coconut extract. Who the hell needs two bottles of coconut extract and has NO vanilla?

Suffice it to say it was the worst spaghetti I have ever tasted. Everyone else ate it and didn't really complain though.

bicostp:
We tried making the filling for a meat pie the other day, but something went wrong and the bottom of the pan burned. The house still smells like charred pork guts.

My grandmother's fudge recipe is really strange. You could make it five times under the same exact conditions and only one batch would come out properly. :psyduck:

Edith:
My ex-husband's favorite pie was pecan pie, which is basically made of sugar, corn syrup and eggs poured over nuts into a crust and then baked. There's probably some butter in there, too, but it's mostly sugar. It's insanely sweet.

The first time I made it I accidentally doubled the sugar. Yeah.



Another time I made a cheesecake with my grandmother's recipe, and it came out looking amazingly delicious. The crust was the color of oreos, and the cheesecake part was golden like caramel... I had overbaked it by AN HOUR.

Elysiana:
My mom made creamed tuna once, and even though she's normally an excellent cook, I think she kind of had a brain fart that day and used tablespoons of salt instead of teaspoons. We happily ladled it onto our toast, collectively took a bite, and collectively spit the bites back onto our plates. Someone had the bright idea to feed what was left to our dog, because dogs will eat anything, right? No... our poor dog took a sniff, put her tail between her legs, and crawled under the porch.

My sister-in-law decided she'd try to make muffin tops when everyone came over for some holiday or another. She didn't realize that there's a special tin that you make them in, so she just put dollops of muffin batter on a cookie sheet. Muffin batter is runny but not so thin that it will go everywhere immediately... within a few minutes of putting it in the oven, she just had a sheet full of muffin goo that was dripping off the edges and burning in the bottom of the oven.

The first year I made Thanksgiving dinner by myself was a few months after I'd gotten married, and I got to use our lovely new knife set. I was happily chopping celery for the stuffing and realized something was wrong when the sound went from "chop chop chop chop" to "thhhkkkk." Luckily the knife was so sharp that when it went through those few millimeters of fingertip it kind of cauterized it so I made it to the sink before I bled all over the stuffing. Sadly, I didn't learn right away and ended up doing that two more times with various vegetables. I'm pretty good about using "kitten paws" when I chop stuff nowadays.

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