There was once a
lonely German rabbi (he lived in his mom's basement) who was worried because the kids didn't like
the Talmud anymore. So he prayed to the
oh Lord 
:
"
Oh Lord ! In my long life
I have seen hundreds of hands
and fingers and faces.
Where are they now?
Where are they when I need them?
Please send me an answer,
oh Lord !"
And then
the Satan 
appeared! And
his thundering voice droned: "Yo mang! wassup. I herd you have-hadiddly-have yourself some probs. Drink a delightful tea any day and whoosh! away with that."
The rabbi thankfully replied: "Thank you,
oh Lord !"
So
the rabbi drank a metric shitton of tea after
the Satan disappeared and then another imperial fuckton. Thus spoke
the rabbi: "I shall make this new wrap music with texts from
the Talmud now! And I shall record it on a cassette! That would be super fancy!" So he recorded his wrap music on a cassette and sold it to
little kids. Obligatory random
Calvin and Hobbes reference.
The police didn't like that and put him into prison. There he had surprise buttsecks and normal buttsecks and funny buttsecks and reverse buttsecks and many other sorts of buttsecks many times again and again.
It was very tragic. But on the day when he was released he said "FUCK
THE POLICE !" and
the Satan appeared again.
The Satan thrusted words out of his mouth: "Hello, my little
rabbi. I see you had fun in prison. Now you're ready to possess the
Power Of Rawk'n'Rawl!"
So he took him onto a journey through hell and they drank a lot and smoked a lot and fucked a lot and had a lot of fun all the time every day and every night.
At the end, there were
three guys:
Rodrigo "
Firefucker" Dosantos, Tamer of the Axe
Poladski "
Polefty" Polodski, Thunder of the Cords
Martin "
Whorebanger" Maxissimo, Handler of the Sticks
Mr.
Squeak, oboe
Together with them
the rabbi formed the band
Yevod Divad! and they had much fun and it was very metal and very trve and they got very famous and stuff. Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann ficken sie noch heute.
