Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Assumptions and Homophobia
El_Flesh:
I wouldn't call it a regular aversion - I'd call it an irrational aversion.
I, too would be put off to find someone assumed I was gay. What, am I acting effeminate or something??
I'm not gay, but I don't mind talking or interacting with someone gay - so long as they are at arm's length.
But seeing two guys kissing/getting it on? Revolting. Is it my DNA? My conditioning? I don't know and I don't care.
Slapping a label of 'Homophobia' on that would be wrong, too. Unlike my father's generation,
I don't feel gay men should have the shit kicked out of them merely for being gay.
Cawigular:
Well for me, I see no reason to treat them any different than anybody else. I don't feel a need to "keep them at arms length.
ANNNYYYYWAAAAYYYYSSSSS....
I'm not sure about Padma and Renee sticking around. Having two characters introduced who are in essence bizzarro versions of protagonists is going to get a little old, unless Jeph has a twist in store for us.
themacnut:
--- Quote from: JackFaerie on 21 Feb 2011, 13:27 ---
--- Quote from: CEOIII on 20 Feb 2011, 23:07 ---Marten would be justified in throwing his drink in her face. Seriously, two guys, in a bar, just talking, so they HAVE TO be gay? Really? REALLY?
--- End quote ---
And you don't even know what else went into the assumption--maybe the way Marten acted when he came in for his coffee and a danish. maybe the way Steve was hanging on him when trying to get him to share his feelings.
--- End quote ---
I'm pretty sure that went a long way towards Padma making that assumption, since normally heterosexual guys (US-raised hetero guys anyway) are not as touchy-feely with each other as Steve and Marten were being in the last few comics.
As for a hetero guy not liking being called gay, well a big part of that is that many hetero guys feel such a mistake calls into question their manliness and, most importantly, their ability to attract girls. After all, hetero women generally don't have sex with gay guys, right? Many girls hang out with gay guys specifically because they KNOW the guys won't hit on them, and are therefore "harmless". Many hetero guys don't want to be considered that "harmless" because such harmlessness implies a total lack of attraction towards the guy in question. When the guy in question is attracted to the girl who thinks he's gay, finding out she thinks he's gay is basically another form of rejection, and possibly an attack on his manhood; in his mind, she thinks he's not "manly" enough for her.
musicalsoul:
--- Quote from: JackFaerie on 21 Feb 2011, 14:12 ---
--- Quote from: Cawigular on 21 Feb 2011, 13:52 ---While throwing a drink in her face would be stupid, I've gotta say, I would be a little offended myself if someone assumed I was gay. In before accusations of homophobia.
I generally try not to assume ANYTHING about people's relationships, just leaving them to say it. That way no awkwardness occurs.
--- End quote ---
That's nice. But if you were standing around with an attractive friend of your preferred gender, would you be equally offended if a bystander assumed this was your significant other? Also, are you regularly "a little offended" when people assume you are straight? (I bet people assume you are straight all the time.) Because otherwise I don't see how your offense at being assumed gay would NOT be at least somewhat homophobic.
--- End quote ---
As someone who is often assumed to be a lesbian, I get offended. I don't get so offended that I go into a RAAAAAAAAAGE about it or anything. But, it does get annoying. I mean for instance when someone I've known for three years, who knows me well enough to know I'm straight, looks at me and shouts "You have got to be a lesbian," I get offended. Just like when I was getting an apartment with my best friend, another friend of ours asked "How is that going to work out since she's a Lesbian, wouldn't that make you uncomfortable?" That offended me. Especially considering the fact that I had at one point in time had feelings for him, THAT HE KNEW ABOUT. After this kind of thing happens regularly, with people who know you it just makes the whole thing a touchy subject. Most of the time if someone asks I just say "no." If someone tells me the assumed I am, it bothers me because, why not just ask?
This does not make me homophobic. I have plenty of gay and lesbian friends. More than anything it's just annoying. I've been in situations where people didn't believe me when I said I was straight. It makes me wonder "Why do people always think that? What is it about me gives off that vibe?" As you can imagine, this doesn't help me win over the men. And it's altogether frustrating.
Carl-E:
I've always been flattered when being mistaken for gay. It's usually by other gay men, though, so it can certainly be awkward.
BTW, "gaydar" is a myth. It's just an educated guess, a reading of various bits of body language and a lot of assumptions made by that reader.
Maybe it's my fashion sense? (that's a joke - my fashion sense is my wife's... she gave me some serious tutelage when I was in grad school, mainly geared towards "dressing for success", and what she liked. It still works pretty well.)
Maybe it's because I'm involved with the theatre? 'cause, you know, there are no straight guys who like to sing in musicals...
But it's really never been a problem when I was assumed gay by a female acquaintance, either. If someone of the opposite sex assumed I was gay, and I expressed an interest in them, the reaction would generally be pleasant surprise. Never an "Oh god no, I thought you were gay!"
So get with it. Manliness isn't the issue, nor is "effeminism". Your sexuality is what it is; what it seems to be to others is strictly in the eye of the beholder. And that eye only sees what it wants to see, or what it's used to seeing!
Remember, the people to whom your sexuality matter already know which way you lean...
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