Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT 14 Mar-18 Mar 2011 (1881-1885)

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Somnus Eternus:
It's good to see that Tai clearly has misgivings about developing feelings for Dora, only because I think it's likely because she's considering her friendship with Marten when she's getting those butterflies of hers.

If, however, she does wind up going for it, I really hope Marten doesn't kill the friendship out of hurt/jealousy.  It would sting, I'm sure, but I'd hope he could handle it with enough maturity that, even if it becomes awkward for a while, he and Tai don't become completely alienated.

In the end, friendships should be able to survive dating your friend's ex (or your friend dating your ex) provided it's handled the right way, so TL;DR: I hope they handle it the right (read: sensitive) way.

Elysiana:
I wouldn't say you have to ask for permission, but a "So what's the deal with you two, are you officially done and over now?" is a nice gesture and makes sense. Especially in a case such as this where it was like "Look, I'm obviously not in the right frame of mind to date you right now, I need to get my brain sorted out first." There was no "I can't date you, we don't work as a couple" per se.

Whether or not permission is asked, and whether or not Tai knows if Dora/Marten are "officially" broken up, I think Dora is probably strong enough to handle herself. She is good at letting people know her mind and I don't think she would hesitate to tell Tai where they stand.

Marten, however, is a different story I think. He has really run the gamut of emotions lately and I can EASILY see him calling Tai out on it and saying, "What the hell, were you just waiting for me to be out of the picture?" If that's the case, Tai may sense that too - she's not trying to stifle her feelings because they're both her friends but because she knows or thinks she knows what his reaction would be.

Moxie:
I'm finding this thread pretty interesting and just wanted to add in my own thoughts :)


--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 09:06 ---
--- Quote from: Elysiana on 14 Mar 2011, 08:54 ---Dora and Marten haven't even had any sort of closure yet, have they? And how much time has passed since the breakup?
--- End quote ---
Marten may not have had any closure yet, but it seem Dora has moved on quite nicely (she's been exhibiting the most "normal" behavior out of anyone: she continued on with her life after allowing herself to grieve over the breakup; meanwhile, Marten is changing his entire social circle to avoid having to deal with moving the fuck on).

It has been at least a month since the breakup, QC-time, what with the hair growth and all going on. Considering the relationship itself lasted all of maybe six months QC-time, I think that's pretty easily enough time for people to start moving on with their lives.
--- End quote ---

In regards to the break-up: a common rule of thumb I've heard many times is that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to fully "be over it". So, if Marten and Dora were in a relationship for 6 six months, I'd expect both of them to have grown more comfortable with the idea and moved on in about 3 months. Longer than that and yes, I'd say one or the other is having a more difficult time and may need to seek some kind of help or such.

As far as moving on: someone else has already mentioned that Dora's "normal" behavior could simply be her faking it (so that she doesn't have to talk about it...which given her past, I'm inclined to believe it). Yes, she's living her life and going to therapy and such, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's moved on nicely - it may only mean she's capable of faking it (hopefully until she makes it). As far as Marten changing his whole social circle...well, that doesn't have to be a terrible thing. Yes, it could mean he's being childish and not dealing with his issues, and finding a group that can fulfill him like the others. However, it could also mean that he's realized being in the previous group was akin to him being in a rut, and the break-up with Dora gives him a free pass on moving on with his life. I don't know if that's really the case, of course, but it could be.



--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 09:06 ---
--- Quote from: Elysiana on 14 Mar 2011, 08:54 ---I think we are more likely to, in fact, because we've grown up and don't just trounce on other people. Teenagers tend to be selfish and not ask for permission; adults are, well, adult enough to talk about it with the party in question first - especially if there has not been closure.
--- End quote ---
If it has been a month since one of your friends broke up with their ex of six months and they are still moping around about it like a sad sack, that friend is the one with problems, not you.
--- End quote ---

Again, if it's only been a month, I'd give the friend the benefit of the doubt. If it lasts longer than 3 months (because of the whole 'half as long as the relationship' thing) then yes, I would believe that they've moped around longer than what they should have, and maybe have more problems. People are allowed to be sad and grieve about things ending, especially if it was unexpected. I believe to be a good friend is to be supportive of that, and perhaps try to help the person find closure...but again, of course a friend can only do so much, and a limit should be expected. But unless the relationship only lasted 2 months, I think it's asking a lot of the person to be completely over within a month.




Edit:

--- Quote from: Elysiana ---Marten, however, is a different story I think. He has really run the gamut of emotions lately and I can EASILY see him calling Tai out on it and saying, "What the hell, were you just waiting for me to be out of the picture?"
--- End quote ---
I can so see this too! Doesn't mean that it's right for Marten to react that way, but seriously, after only a month, that seems like it would really sting...especially given Tai's behavior while Marten and Dora were dating. I could see it making life for Marten and Tai really tough at work. (I can also see this reaction from Marten if Dora would turn Tai down - it's just the fact that Tai would 'make a move' on Dora so soon! And again, not that such a reaction would be right, but it would certainly be understandable, especially given the short amount of time since the break-up).

DJRubberducky:

--- Quote from: Miakaru on 14 Mar 2011, 10:33 ---One of my main points was the therapy call/visit. From past experiences, I don't think it would take longer than a month from the time of her call to her first visit. 2-3 weeks even seems like large amount of time.

--- End quote ---

1) You may well have had enviable past experiences.  I know I've had to wait 2-3 weeks for an initial appointment because of the times I was available.

2) I've had an every-two-week appointment cancelled by a life event on the therapist's part.  So it was a month between visits.

3) Nothing stopping Dora from abusing those possibilities fraudulently.

Elysiana:

--- Quote from: Moxie on 14 Mar 2011, 12:15 ---I can so see this too! Doesn't mean that it's right for Marten to react that way, but seriously, after only a month, that seems like it would really sting...especially given Tai's behavior while Marten and Dora were dating.

--- End quote ---
I think you hit the nail on the head here - if Tai hadn't talked about it so much before then I think he MIGHT let it slide. As it stands, she's made numerous remarks about liking Dora and it really would look pretty bad. Actually I kind of wonder if she thought she was joking about it with them before but now realizes that it's less of a joke than she thought? That would explain why she seems surprised at her butterflies.

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