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[Zwiebel]

You see, Marten's been taking lessons from Neville Longbottom...

I think I love you for that.

[nichidani]

This is beside the point, but looking at today's comic makes me think Marten referred to Clinton as Tom Servo last week partially because he does have quite a beaklike nose. I didn't notice the prominence of it until today's strip.

[Somnus Eternus]

Whoa, what the hell. Why is Marten taking another level in badass all of a sudden? I didn't even get time to recover from the last one. And since Marten already got his shine in the 'protect Hanners' spotlight, I think it's reasonable to expect some Faye on Clinton action...

You see, Marten's been taking lessons from Neville Longbottom...

You just made my day. <3

[TheEvilDog]

There will be blood. Clinton's blood. Splattered all over Coffee of Doom.

Cue Dora walking in, seeing the mess and preparing to chew out Faye when.... Woah, it's Marten who has finally achieved his lifelong dream of being a medieval barber!

(The comic's title could be No Country for Douchy Cyborgs!)

[Skewbrow]

I would actually like to see Dora handle this. Earlier on she used to take that motherly stance/voice, and set her underlings/junior friends straight. Apparently Marten wielding a broadsword didn't make a strong enough impression on Clinton, so he needs to have it spelled out to him, what exactly he is doing wrong, and (in order for the lesson to stick) why it is wrong. Faye's punching is not gonna "help" Clinton, because he apparently is that ignorant about social norms.

Of course, none of our friends are under any obligation to teach this to the ServoDude. Their highest priority is to protect Hannelore from harm.

[Black Sword]

No, Faye, please let Marten do it! He may hurt himself, but it'll be character building and totally worth it!

Did anyone else hear Faye say "You want I should break his limbs and face?" in a distinctly mafia accent? Or was that just me?

[jwhouk]

I realise that there are rules against this sort of thing but I'm tempted to ship Clinton.

A big viking ship, on fire and floating out to sea.

This x 1000.

[Mr. Doctor]

You know what, I'm calling it first - if Faye tries to beat up Clinton, she's in trouble.  You do not attack a guy with a robot hand and come out okay.  Clinton probably has at least a taser in there, probably all kinds of stuff.

aw man... I got ninja'd.

I don't know guys, I like Clinton, I don't like what he's doing but I think he's harmless, he just have to learn in the hard way. It would be cool that things get better with time and he can appear from time to time, like Angus.

[Thiefree]

I realise that there are rules against this sort of thing but I'm tempted to ship Clinton.

A big viking ship, on fire and floating out to sea.

Sir, might I have the address of your jib-cutter?

Clinton is undoubtedly Jeph's worst nightmare. The robot hand may even be symbolic of the vice-like deathgrip handshake he finds himself subjected to from over-eager fanboys. I think he'll be the catalyst for Hanners' dad turning up; then Clinton will go missing for a while; then we'll see him again but he'll have no memory of ANY OF THIS.

Did anyone else hear Faye say "You want I should break his limbs and face?" in a distinctly mafia accent? Or was that just me?

I've been watching a lot of Sopranos lately, so: yes. Entirely.

One problem I anticipate with Dora and Marten meeting up again is that there isn't any neutral ground. There's his place, her coffee shop, his place of work, her brother's apt... nowhere really neutral. If they do have a big talk about things, it'll have to be while wandering around the streets.

[Odin]

Hanners mom would probably be the more likely candidate for a call, after which Clinton would disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

[Border Reiver]

I realise that there are rules against this sort of thing but I'm tempted to ship Clinton.

A big viking ship, on fire and floating out to sea.

This x 1000.

Disagree

Then he gets to Valhalla - I think we need to ensure a death on straw so he heads to Nifelheim instead

[nonsignor]

I think i need that coffee poster on my kitchen wall, scratch that, my bedroom wall.

[Varian7]

Clinton is certainly turning into a creepy stalker.  His "what a coincidence" indicates he knew he would find her here.

[raoullefere]

Asking for permission and then doing it before a response has a chance to be communicated is generally pretty douchy. And he didn't even apologize for his conduct at their first encounter.

Also, it looks someone's jealous and it's not the guys at the message board! I was joking please don't hurt me...

Is it just me or does he seem to make a point of doing things with his metal hand?

You know what, I'm calling it first - if Faye tries to beat up Clinton, she's in trouble.  You do not attack a guy with a robot hand and come out okay.  Clinton probably has at least a taser in there, probably all kinds of stuff.

Oh, and to close the loophole:  He was technically working when Marten drove him off with a sword, so he didn't argue then in case he made his company liable.  I imagine a company that builds AnthroPCs has its lawyers kept busy enough.

He could have a fully loaded pistol in there even, if Jeph reads the Honor Harrington series and coil guns have been miniaturized in the QCverse.

Clinton is from the University of Massive Chewing Sets, not a company. Where did you get the idea that he works for an AnthroPC manufacturer?

No, no, no! Rocket Fist, man! Or maybe teeny, exploding rocket fingertips.

I will be satisfied with no less.

(Yes, yes, it is a good thing I've learned to live with constant disappointment. But I foolishly keep hoping…)

[Odin]

You know you're fucking creepy when Billy Quizboy from The Venture Brothers is less creepy than you.

[Doctor Online]

Whoa, what the hell. Why is Marten taking another level in badass all of a sudden? I didn't even get time to recover from the last one. And since Marten already got his shine in the 'protect Hanners' spotlight, I think it's reasonable to expect some Faye on Clinton action...

You see, Marten's been taking lessons from Neville Longbottom...

Hi. I think I love you. <3

[mike837go]

Who else had visions of mayhem when they first say the first panel?

[Handmade.Mercury]

Come on Marten, let's fuck him up!

[DSL]

Errgh. I've had a couple Clintons in my life ... little "Well Hello, it's such a pleasure to meet me" PsOS who couldn't take a hint.
Faye's probably right in insisting she deal with it; as barista-in-command, she's responsible at this point for Hanners-maintenance. I foresee mayhem resulting from the "cupcake" comment, though, which was gratuitous on the part of the Pugnacious Peach.
... Actually, the neat twist would be if Hanners handled it on her own before Faye could get there, maybe with a little help, as someone mentioned earlier, from Espressosaurus-2.
Dora, stopping by, won't know exactly what this is, but it won't look good.
Or, you know, whatever Jeph ends up doing.
Hanners fans, by the way, are urged to stay away from Jeph's Tumblr.

[TheEvilDog]

Hands up if you think Clinton is going to leave Coffee of Doom with less appendages than he entered with?  

[sterlingdragon]

Prediction:
Removed by moderator - what part of "no shipping" do you not get?

[SirDudley]

Hands up if you think Clinton is going to leave Coffee of Doom with less appendages than he entered with?  

*Raises hand*
Also, said lost appendage(s) will be mounted on the wall in CoD. No exceptions!

That aside, alas poor Clinton, we hardly knew ye. You were just a simple fanboy that did not understand the subtle hints from one of the more polite friends of Hanners. And now he has to get...."introduced" to another good friend of Hanners. The one that's way more sassy and aggressive and Southern. And the one that is more likely to rend him asunder.

[The Duke]

Remember the description of the Malaysian Battle Spatula as "You could lop off a hand with that thing!".

Wow.  That seriously blew my mind.

Did anyone else hear Faye say "You want I should break his limbs and face?" in a distinctly mafia accent? Or was that just me?

That is definitely what I do whenever someone asks me a favour and I need to clarify something.  "So, what?  You want I should put the cups in the dishwasher?"

I just had this image of Dora walking into CoD just as Marten punches a customer in the face.

That made me laugh really hard.

[mike837go]

Hands up if you think Clinton is going to leave Coffee of Doom with less appendages than he entered with?  

**hands raised**
I vote aye!

Any pieces left on the floor are to be stuffed and mounted!

[Anias]

So, here's how it all goes down:
Marten lops off Clinton's hand with the Malaysian Battle Spatula.  Faye beats Clinton to a pulp and lops off his head with the broadsword.  The CoD crew mount his skull on their shelves - after all, that's where they put the skulls of their enemies.  Hanners feels bad and/or gets grossed out by the blood.  She finds a way to download his mind into the robot body her dad sent her, fulfilling Clinton's lifelong dreams...until he finds out that certain parts are still in beta. 

[DSL]

OK, I'll play too:

Clinton is Hannerdad.
Specifically, a robot body tele-operated by Hannerdad from the space station. See, he does care about his main experiment only daughter.
Also, the genetic testing on Marten's blood sample is complete. The results are ...
... No, that would be (space)shipping.

[HiFranc]

Hanners mom would probably be the more likely candidate for a call, after which Clinton would disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

I did think of that as a solution myself but I decided against it.  Clinton is such a fanboy that I can see him posting somthing to the effect of:

Brilliant news.  I got to meet Mrs E-C!  She's going to kill me but she did give me her autograph -- Win!!

I don't think violence from the E-C clan would dampen his, or his group's, enthusiasm.

I think he needs to realise that Hannelore is a person with feelings and deserving of true respect.

[Econoclast]

I'm sorry, I just can't take Faye seriously when she threatens people with violence. I've known way too many alleged "tough girls" in my day to give any credence to their empty threats of castration or general ass-kicking. At best, all I can offer any girl who does that is a condescending pat on the head while saying, "That's right. You get 'em, tough guy."  

Best case scenario for this situation: Marten grows a pair, pulls the dude aside, grabs his camera, and deftly deletes the picture while saying, "You come around my friend again, I'm calling the cops." Seeing how small this guy is, this is probably Marten's one and only chance to actually look like a badass in front of the girls instead of the limp-wristed indie boy we all know and love.

[Skewbrow]

Ok, I'll play, too.

The new Faye is a Classy Lady, or a Southern Belle, if you wish. If she needs to give Clinton a violent lesson? Well, I foresee three panels of speed lines interspersed with barely audible grunts. In the last panel there will be a puzzled Hannelore: "I ... didn't know that it is possible to shove a cell phone so deep into ..." But Pintsize will get the last word: "I know just the right message board to post this youtube link."

I really hope that HannerDad won't show up this time. I mean, the odds are in favor of Clinton becoming his protegé anyway.

Other than that I feel BoDJangles is on the right track. Clinton is par for the course, when Jeph's introducing a new character. Something like Marigold squared in awkwardness, but may grow up to be ok in the end.

[Digitized]

Just to say something about the art...

Wow, I really love Marten's face in the last panel. He has that annoyed, "I think I might want to kill you" face going on, and it's pretty clear. His face just looks real nice. Faye too, in that panel.

[DSL]

I'm sorry, I just can't take Faye seriously when she threatens people with violence.

Owls.

[TheEvilDog]

I can see Marten stepping up to tell Clinton to back off, and Faye gently pulling him back before he can do so. Without an acceptable target to vent out that anger, Marten turns on Faye...just as Dora/Angus/Someone else walks in to hear Faye getting a bollocking from Marten. (and no, not that kind you bloody perverts)

Cue Marten getting barred from Coffee of Doom (if its Dora)/Punched in the face (if its Angus)/someone else's jaw cracking the floor in Coffee of Doom (if its someone else)

[pwhodges]

all I can offer any girl who does that is a condescending pat on the head

Er, I think your sexism is showing.

[Skewbrow]

all I can offer any girl who does that is a condescending pat on the head

Er, I think your sexism is showing.

Either that or, like Dilbert after a visit to the PHB's office, he doesn't want them to leave empty-headed.

[Econoclast]

Er, I think your sexism is showing.

I know. But seriously -- how can you even feel the slightest bit threatened by someone who has a fifth of your strength and nearly half of your weight? It'd be the same if some 120lb, 5'6'' guy started threatening to beat my ass. It's little dog syndrome: all bark and no bite.

[iduguphergrave]

I can see Marten stepping up to tell Clinton to back off, and Faye gently pulling him back before he can do so. Without an acceptable target to vent out that anger, Marten turns on Faye...just as Dora/Angus/Someone else walks in to hear Faye getting a bollocking from Marten. (and no, not that kind you bloody perverts)

Cue Marten getting barred from Coffee of Doom (if its Dora)/Punched in the face (if its Angus)/someone else's jaw cracking the floor in Coffee of Doom (if its someone else)

While I can see Marty getting a little mad at Faye holding him back, he probably wouldn't mention it while the "threat" is still around (yes I mean Clinton). He'd probably bring it up later once they were back at their apartment. I don't think he will though, once he sees what Faye does to the bionic buttmunch.

[Mustakyy]

Hoooo-boy, mr Creepy better be kidding about the remark concerning the message board, otherwise he's cruisin for bruisin' , so to say. If not from the newfound Marten The Librarian   (i know, bad joke, couldn't resist, sorrysorrysorry, pleasedontkillme), then maybe from the sassy southern belle, who has, although some time ago, dealth with annoyance using some force.

Hanners mom would probably be the more likely candidate for a call, after which Clinton would disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

Bwahaha! I like the way you think, good sir.
*grins evilly and tips hat politely*

[The Duke]

I can see Marten stepping up to tell Clinton to back off, and Faye gently pulling him back before he can do so. Without an acceptable target to vent out that anger, Marten turns on Faye...just as Dora/Angus/Someone else walks in to hear Faye getting a bollocking from Marten. (and no, not that kind you bloody perverts)

Cue Marten getting barred from Coffee of Doom (if its Dora)/Punched in the face (if its Angus)/someone else's jaw cracking the floor in Coffee of Doom (if its someone else)

Marten turning on Faye?  I don't see it at all.

[Carl-E]

Er, I think your sexism is showing.

I know. But seriously -- how can you even feel the slightest bit threatened by someone who has a fifth of your strength and nearly half of your weight? It'd be the same if some 120lb, 5'6'' guy started threatening to beat my ass. It's little dog syndrome: all bark and no bite.

Well, you know your female friends, but by now you should also know Faye (or maybe you need more archiving).  She has demonstrated the ability to back up that bark on more than one occasion, in particular by throwing Angus (who is considerably larger than Clinton) across a bar.  

Besides, it's Clinton, he's what, 5'3" and 100 lbs sopping wet?  

I think Faye can handle him.  

[pwhodges]

someone who has a fifth of your strength and nearly half of your weight

If that represents your generic view of all females, you are over-generalising by a huge amount.  In any case, blind faith in superior physical force can be misplaced.

[Twilightsign]

Hanners saying h-Hey is probably my favorite part of the strip. I still think Marten is going to be the one to deal with Clinton.

[gprimr1]

I am hoping to see Dora come in and chase the creep out of her store. That could also give Marten and Dora some common ground to be friends on, protecting Hanners.

[ZERO]

God, I screamed like a woman the very moment I opened to page and saw the first panel.

I thought the last panel was really awesome.

[DeathbyChiasmus]

Whoa, what the hell. Why is Marten taking another level in badass all of a sudden? I didn't even get time to recover from the last one. And since Marten already got his shine in the 'protect Hanners' spotlight, I think it's reasonable to expect some Faye on Clinton action...

Pretty sure it is far less "taking another level in badass" and more "having a convenient outlet for venting all of his frustrations" or "projecting all of his built up anger on the easy target".

"You never had to take a level in badass, Marten! The badass was inside you all along!"

[Heliphyneau]

I wouldn't mind seeing Hanners take care of Clinton herself, with stunned responses from Marten and Faye.  Maybe just a shot of Clinton flying out the front door, cutting to Hanners coming out of fugue state, and at the end Faye telling her "You have learned well, young padawan."

We still don't know enough about Hanners' Dad to know how he'd react to Clinton, but clueless Clint might need to watch out in case Doc Ellicott happens to be a nuke-em-from-orbit type.  (I'm not sure which character is more clueless/oblivious, Clinton or Padma.)

Marten's grr face = awesome.

[Somnus Eternus]

"You never had to take a level in badass, Marten! The badass was inside you all along!"

The unintentional innuendo is just...I can't even...

[cesariojpn]

Hanners mom would probably be the more likely candidate for a call, after which Clinton would disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

Are you implying "Jumping the Shark?" Or that one Simpson's episode?

[raoullefere]

Hands up if you think Clinton is going to leave Coffee of Doom with less appendages than he entered with?  

Yes! Because he's going to fire his rocket-fist at Faye and then run like a motherfucker, thus preserving his non-consensual photo. He can always get a replacement hand.

Ok, I'll play, too.

The new Faye is a Classy Lady, or a Southern Belle, if you wish. If she needs to give Clinton a violent lesson? Well, I foresee three panels of speed lines interspersed with barely audible grunts. In the last panel there will be a puzzled Hannelore: "I ... didn't know that it is possible to shove a cell phone so deep into ..." But Pintsize will get the last word: "I know just the right message board to post this youtube link."

Except you know this won't happen now. With rare exceptions, scenarios that appear in the forum don't manifest in the comic. Hence my despair of my chances of seeing the rocket-fist maneuver.

Can anyone tell me if Mazinger or any of the Getter 'bots actually did that in the animations? Might be worth purchasing the DVDs to see.

[Funderclease]

Er, I think your sexism is showing.

I know. But seriously -- how can you even feel the slightest bit threatened by someone who has a fifth of your strength and nearly half of your weight? It'd be the same if some 120lb, 5'6'' guy started threatening to beat my ass. It's little dog syndrome: all bark and no bite.

Well, you know your female friends, but by now you should also know Faye (or maybe you need more archiving).  She has demonstrated the ability to back up that bark on more than one occasion, in particular by throwing Angus (who is considerably larger than Clinton) across a bar. 

Besides, it's Clinton, he's what, 5'3" and 100 lbs sopping wet? 

I think Faye can handle him. 

you give Faye too much credit. yes shes demonstrated that shes willing to back up her threats but so much of it is over exaggerated to the point of absurdity. hell, the record for dwarf tossing is 11feet5 inches, you really think Faye, who is in none-too-great physical condition could throw a full grown man(Angus) across a bar? that being said ive no doubt she'd stand up for hanners but its just...boring...at this point. let marten show his stuff for once. doesnt mean he has to become a he-man all of a sudden but itd be a nice change of pace

[DSL]

I'm not gonna worry about shark-jumping unless Jeph introduces a character who looks like Ted McGinley.