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Teachers Be Crazy

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Eris:
Being taught by my father was another situation that seems ridiculous when I look back on it. At school he was Mr Taylor. I had this very distinct separation between him and my fater that I would tell him what I did with my dad on the weekend. He would always play along. He was an amazing, encouraging teacher who understood how kids worked, but sometimes he would be an absolute arsehole.

One time he  picked up a drawing from one of the littlies and started yelling at the poor kid. "THIS IS BRILLIANT!" he bellowed. "MICHAEL, THIS IS THE BEST DRAWING I HAVE EVER SEEN!" He roared. Everyone in the class froze, watching Michael stare in terror and confusion at Mr Taylor. "GO TO MY DESK AND GET YOURSELF A STICKER!" He basically screamed. Michael burst into tears, thinking he was in trouble, and had to be consoled and convinced that everything was fine.

David_Dovey:
I got kicked in the bum by one of my teachers! I think I was doing something pretty dumb but I definitely didn't deserve that and I knew it back then, too. I went straight to the principal and ratted the bastard out. Fuck you, teacher.

My history teacher in Year 12 seemed to take great pleasure in telling us we were the worst class she ever had and that we were all going to die destitute and alone. No exaggeration. We would've taken it personally but she said it to everyone, apparently.

Eris:
My dad also has regaled us with stories about his teaching experiences when he was still starting out. He also loves to talk about the time he held a small boy out a window by the ankles and having the rest of the class try and get Dad to drop him. Also the story of having to teach a single class full of over 40 kindergarteners sounds like some sort of horror situation.

Scandanavian War Machine:
-one of my favorite english teachers in highschool was notorious for playing favorites and alot of people i knew really hated him. luckily, he really liked me for some reason so I never had a problem with him. One incident that sticks in my mind was in german class (which the guy was not qualified to teach, by the way) where this black metal kid i knew asked a serious question which the teacher somehow misinterpreted as...something else...which caused him to directly tell the kid to go sit in the hall. Naturally, the guy was confused and said "what? why" and then the teacher just started yelling at him and telling him to quit talking back and all this stuff even though he was just asking a question (the first time, and the second) and he basically got browbeat into crying and ran out of class. Never seen a wimpier metalhead.

-my dad almost beat the shit out of my fourth grade teacher for talking shit once. the guy was an asshole and very old fashioned, didn't really know the meaning of the words "fair" or "equality" and yeah, he's lucky my dad's a hippie because he would have ruined that guy's life with ease

-when i was in middle school a student teacher was demonstrating how a sling works (or thong; the thing you put a rock in and swing over your head to hurt people from afar) with an eraser or something and it slipped out of his hand, flying across the room. I swear the whole class saw it happen in slow motion, this perfect pink eraser tumbling chaotically through the air. We all saw it heading right for this kid's face. There was no way it wasn't gonna hit him. He didn't even react until the last second when the eraser was right in front of him, at which point he casually lifted his binder in front of his face and blocked it.

I'd never seen anything like it before. The casual attitude, the lightning fast reflexes, the bad decision making teacher. it was great.

David_Dovey:
Does having really bad halitosis count as unprofessional? Because my fourth grade teacher would always come up behind you to check on your work and lean over yr shoulder and wheeze and stink all over the place and you'd have to sit there and just kind of endure it. Like, it was a literal ordeal having to be in close proximity to this guy. He also had pedo glasses and a pedo mustache, and was probably a pedo.

This same teacher called my parents in and explained to them that I probably had A.D.D. and should be on Ritalin or something. Thankfully my parents told the guy to fuck off. As much as I talk shit about my parents these days I am extremely thankful that they made a lot of good decisions about my education, like that and also not sending me to a Catholic high school (it was on the agenda for a little while because of the higher standard of education at private schools, but thankfully the came to their senses and in the end I lucked out anyway by the nearest public high school having an extremely high standard and well-developed art, music and I.T. programs anyway).

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