Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT: 2011-2015 (12-16 Sep 2011)

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John_Knee:

--- Quote from: vsonics on 16 Sep 2011, 09:40 ---
--- Quote from: John_Knee on 16 Sep 2011, 05:16 ---Introverts don't seek out a large group of friends and the most introverted of people can make do with literately 1-2 close friends and a smallish group of associates that they know and will talk to but wouldn't in the traditional sense call friends.
--- End quote ---

That's not entirely true, either. While it does describe some introverts, what really "makes" an introvert or extrovert is where they get their energy from. If you need time to be by yourself and enjoy some alone time after hanging out with people because that's tiring, bingo: introvert. While they are factors, introversion doesn't always have anything to do with social skills or ability to make and enjoy friends. 
--- End quote ---

Needing time out and some me-time is not limited to introverts. Extroverts also need time out too - the difference is the level of tolerance to spending long periods of time in other people's presence and how long the time out is. And introversion can have a big impact on social skills etc - it depends where the goalposts are. For Marigold, a large part of her socialising is doing raids online. She wears headphones and mike so presumably they do talk to each other, plus she no doubt communications on forums etc. That for Marigold is a perfectly valid form of socialisation, allbeit a form that does nothing for teaching her of the way to socialise in more face to face settings like pubs and clubs (as the more extroverted people would social in). As an introvert, you wouldn't look nor need to have a large harem of friends and instead rely on a smaller handful. Because an introvert only mentally requires a smaller group of close friends, she won't be actively be looking to replace them - hence a lack of experience in making new friends. Plus where an introvert (especially like Marigold) tends to stay at home etc to socialise, she isn't natually going to meet new people unless introduced by Angus etc. Not always, but introversion often plays a key part in a person's social skills - not because of a lack of mentality to do so, but because socialisation with other (new) people is often less important.


--- Quote from: vsonics on 16 Sep 2011, 09:40 ---I do agree with the fact that Marigold is an introvert. She likes to read by herself, she likes to play video games by herself, she's pretty cool with just chilling in her room on her own. Most of the time. Because that doesn't mean that she doesn't need ANY social interactions, or even doesn't want them. She obviously feels like her social life is lacking. She wants more friends, she just isn't sure how to get them. Which brings us to her real problem.

It's not Marigold's introversion that's getting in the way of things; it's the fact that she's shy and hasn't gotten to the point where she feels comfortable putting herself out there. And when she does, it's only on her own terms, when she wants, right now. Which is understandable, especially given that she is an introvert. But then you see her complaining about how she doesn't have a social life and you want to hit her on the head for passing up on past opportunities. (And sometimes just bein' a stupidhead.)

Mature Marigold would realize that you have to put some work into cultivating relationships and that sometimes going out to the movies tonight even if you don't feel like it will make going out when you DO feel like it that much more possible. And I don't think she's become mature Marigold yet. Hopefully she's getting there.

--- End quote ---

I'd put it down to this - historically Marigold has only two friends in Momo and Angus and they have acted as her social crutches. If she needs to socialise on a face to face basis then Angus and/or Momo fullfills that. She was happy with this social status quo and probably felt fulfilled. Since Angus has stated dating Faye then for Marigold, one of her 'crutches' has been whipped partially away from her therefore knocking her off balance. Her social life, in her mind, probably wasn't lacking until Faye and co turned up. If I was in her position than I probably would make a little bit of an effort around Angus's friends in order to try and maintain the friendship and social time with Angus. I'd debate the suggestion she wants more friends - I'm not sure she necessarily needs more friends and that expanding her social life is high on her list of mental needs. You say she'll only go out and socialise on her terms, but I recall the initial visit to the pub was because Momo threaterned her rather than a particular desire to go. In terms of the party later when she found out officially about Faye and Angus then my reading was that she was basicallly dragged along thanks to the fact Angus was going.

Your second and third paragraph reads as if in order for Marigold to grow up and be mature she has to basically be more of an extrovert? Maybe I just sufficently an introvert to understand where Marigold is coming from, but you seem to be applying the rules of socialising on the basis of what an extrovert would do.

Emperor Norton:
@John Knee

The problem is that Marigold has pretty much expressed her dislike of her social situation. You act like she hasn't. I'm an introvert. Heavily, heavily, introverted. I have good social skills, get along with almost everyone I meet, and don't tend to have many problems with the fact I have very few close friends. But that's the thing. I DON'T care that I don't have a ton of close friends, Marigold does seem to dislike her position socially. At the very least she wants to have a more active love life.

The truth is... yes, if she wants to have more friends, if she wants to meet a guy, and have a larger social life, being somewhat more extroverted IS a part of that. You don't meet people sitting at home alone. You also don't strengthen existing friendships that way. The maturing people are talking about is not expecting everything to come to you. She's upset at what she doesn't have but she isn't GOING OUT TO GET IT. She's upset that Momo and her might grow apart, but its still all about when and what SHE wants, I'm too busy now, I'm worried that we will drift apart, but not enough to actually do something about it because it will inconvenience me.

Elysiana:
I think part of the problem is that Mari seems to want the life of an extrovert without becoming an extrovert. Many introverts are quite happy being introverts, myself included. There are times when I'd like to go hang out with people, and I do, but I'm just as happy sitting at home and reading or playing games or making jewelry. Marigold seems to have this wish that friends will magically appear and beg her to come out with them (at which point she will, of course, turn them down, pointing out that she's shy and introverted).

Welu:
This comic made me laugh but also hit a nerve because it totally reminded me of my introverted fifteen year old self. Specifically of when I only had two close friends who I introduced to each other but then got annoyed they hung out with each other without me, then would say no to hanging out when invited because I was holding a grudge.

Dammit, Marigold!

Carl-E:
Why do we do such stupid things?  I've done my share, of course.

I know, Welu, you're chalking it up to the stupidity of youth, but the patterns of behaviour set in youth are notoriously hard to break out from.  You're lucky. 



Marigold, not so much. 

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