Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT 2051-2055; Nov. 7-11, 2011
kent_eh:
--- Quote from: Akima on 09 Nov 2011, 15:39 --- Pro tip: She isn't asking for information, and whether the dress really makes her look fat or not is completely irrelevant. But you knew that already, right?
--- End quote ---
Ummm... No I didn't know that. (and, for reference I've been married almost 15 years)
The way us guys simple brains work is:
You ask a question, I answer it as best I can.
You say something's wrong, I try to find a solution to the problem.
Now that second one, I have come to realise (after being blatantly told) is more mis-communication. What's really happening is she wants to talk about what the problem is, and she wants me to listen attentively and shut the hell up.
The bottom line: women and men think about things differently.
Neither is wrong. Just different. Both methods have their benefits. Both are difficult for hte other to fully comprehend.
Sorflakne:
--- Quote ---It isn't misogyny to complain about mind games.
--- End quote ---
Mind games are utter bullshit. If you can't be frank, then your relationship has a problem.
NotAwesomeAnymore:
--- Quote from: kent_eh on 09 Nov 2011, 19:53 ---The way us guys simple brains work is:
You ask a question, I answer it as best I can.
You say something's wrong, I try to find a solution to the problem.
--- End quote ---
This is so annoying. SO annoying. "Men are simple, straightforward and practical!" Our society definitely has this obsession with being "simple" and not "loving drama" (even though we all totally love drama sometimes.) And the reason women are defined as dramatic I think is leftover from the Freudian days of diagnosing women with unsociable hysteria for, like, maybe wanting a dude to compromise.
People frame it like, "Oh, men are so doofy," but the truth is they're implying they're better, because they're more simple and streamline emotionally than women. And it's just not true. I'm as simple and as drama-hating as the next guy, if not more - it's just when I have feelings, I have to jump through a million hoops to prove they're not PMS.
--- Quote ---The bottom line: women and men think about things differently.
Neither is wrong. Just different. Both methods have their benefits. Both are difficult for hte other to fully comprehend.
--- End quote ---
Men and women are socialised differently. Studies on stereotype threat have shown that when you remind a woman she's a woman, she'll perform crappily on a math test. And a man will fail a test on empathetic responses as soon as he knows the test is about empathy. But people still have people-feelings and relating to them on that level works.
Tova:
--- Quote from: Akima on 09 Nov 2011, 15:39 ---*Yes, the answer to this question is obvious. A big part of the reason why women ask these loaded questions is because we want to know if guys' interest and investment in us actually extends a little further than that.
--- End quote ---
I think I've gone through about three or four drafts of posts which, sadly, I've ended up having to discard.
I'll just settle for saying that I think that it contains a number of pretty big generalisations, on a topic where I think that the reasons behind the question can be quite diverse. The footnote especially - and btw, if that really is the motivation behind asking the question in particular cases, then I'm really not sure it's a very good way to find out.
Akima:
--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 09 Nov 2011, 18:41 ---I took that as a reference to the world outside the forum, where the complaints of any gender against any other are too numerous for me to count.
--- End quote ---
Oh absolutely! And if I wanted to wallow in them, I could go to one of the forums devoted to it. It's depressing though to read the same dreary stuff in this forum. And I'm not sure that it isn't misogyny to complain exclusively about the "mind games" of women.
Like your wife, I don't think it is men's fault that some women say things like "Does this dress make me look fat?" (and that particular question has always struck me as silly). I do think it is their fault if they make no effort to understand questions like that, or feel entitled to demand that women communicate differently for no other reason than to make life easier for them. This cuts both ways, of course, and I believe women should make the effort to communicate more straightforwardly with men. For me at least, it's a work in progress.
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